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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Storage facility for SIL

49 replies

haveyourcakeandeatit · 12/07/2022 21:48

We have been storing 6 large plastic containers in our cellar for the last 4 years for my SIL. We're due to move house in the next couple of weeks to a house with no cellar and the attic isn't boarded. So basically all of our stuff from the cellar and attic will need to go into the garage (which isn't massive) I'm so tempted to ask her if she'd like her stuff back or at least some of it. The thought of having to store it again is annoying me (she lives in a 2 bed house with searingly no loft space) what would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
WinterMusings · 12/07/2022 22:45

yep, don't ask her, just TELL her she has to collect it by x date or you'll 'donate' it to the charity shop.

you've kindly stored it for this long, but you're going to be limited for storage at the new place, so she'll have to make room at hers, pay for storage or ask someone else.

but that's HER problem, not yours.

MaggieFS · 12/07/2022 22:48

WTF. You are "tempted to ask her"???

This is so easy. Phone her up 'sorry, we won't have room at the new place to continue to store your stuff, please can you come and collect it before Xx date'.

Don't give an alternative, don't make threats. Don't pay to dispose of it. Certainly don't pay to move it. Worst case if it's not gone 48hours before you move tell her it's going on fb marketplace for free as it HAS to go.

MaggieFS · 12/07/2022 22:50

(Sorry, appreciate I look to have contradicted myself on 'don't make threats' but what I mean is don't give false ultimatums. One deadline and then when that's missed one last option to save her stuff. Moving house is hard enough!)

Original poster
haveyourcakeandeatit · 12/07/2022 22:58

MaggieFS · 12/07/2022 22:50

(Sorry, appreciate I look to have contradicted myself on 'don't make threats' but what I mean is don't give false ultimatums. One deadline and then when that's missed one last option to save her stuff. Moving house is hard enough!)

Yes I think I am being passive here. I'm certain her DD will not want the stuff, but who knows. I'm worried she'll think "ah larger house" yet the storage is less and less without a cellar and boarded attic.
Before I had our DD 14months ago and pre covid she would feed our cats whenever we were on holiday (twice a year) which I'd pay her for. But again, I'm worried if I tell her to collect her crap.
Why oh why am I worrying about this?

OP posts:
Ragwort · 12/07/2022 23:19

You paid your own SIL to feed your cats? Shock.

is she your DH's sister ... can't he deal with it?

justasmalltownmum · 12/07/2022 23:29

Say we are moving, have no extra space. Here is your stuff back.

HairyScaryMonster · 13/07/2022 08:07

Just tell her you no longer have the space and you'll be dropping it over on x date. What she then does with her stuff is up to her. Maybe she'll find another victim with a big loft.

TheGoodEnoughWife · 13/07/2022 08:10

I always think if the stuff isn't special enough for the CF to make space in their own house then it sure as anything isn't going to take up space in my house!

Don't ask, don't be timid, just state as fact that you are moving and she needs to take her stuff back. Then drive it over so it is sorted.

SeasonFinale · 13/07/2022 08:11

So you store her stuff for free but have to pay her for a "favour" she does for you.

Agree - you call and say can you collect your stuff there is nowhere to store it at the new house. If she protests then you say collect by (date) or it will go on Freebay

HollowTalk · 13/07/2022 08:16

You are worrying about nothing. Surely you're not expected to store those things for the next 20 or 30 years?! Just send a text saying we are moving now so you need to collect your things. There's no room for them in the new house.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/07/2022 08:17

What happens when her dd grows out of her next batch of toys/clothes/books? Will they be shipped over to you too?

ohidoliketobe · 13/07/2022 08:21

I'd have told her as soon as the house went on the market!
But a simple-
'Hey SIL - packing for the move and found these boxes of yours. Please can you collect before we move next week as new house has no where to store them! Thanks'

Original poster
haveyourcakeandeatit · 13/07/2022 08:26

Ragwort · 12/07/2022 23:19

You paid your own SIL to feed your cats? Shock.

is she your DH's sister ... can't he deal with it?

Yes, she's always skint and I give her money for the inconvenience as it more than covers her petrol. She's a single mum and I don't want to put her out too much.
Yes it's husbands sister.

OP posts:
Bonheurdupasse · 13/07/2022 08:27

Tell her, and then bring it to her the day before you move.
Otherwise she'll just mess you around.
That way it's her problem.

LindaEllen · 13/07/2022 08:36

Meraas · 12/07/2022 21:54

Don’t ask her, tell her!

Tell her there’s no space in the new place and she needs to collect her stuff by the end of the week.

Absolutely this! It's all very well helping her out with free storage if you have the space, but if you're moving, you no longer have that, and it's her problem what happens to it now.

Spanielsarepainless · 13/07/2022 08:36

Just ask her to collect them. Tell her that the boxes won't be going with you.

starfishmummy · 13/07/2022 08:59

Similar happened to us when dh's sibking and partner split up. Except we weren't moving - dh's sibling announced they were moving 200 miles away - they had just planned on leaving it with us!! Er that was a no. I don't think we were popular when we told then they had to collect their stuff first!!

Original poster
haveyourcakeandeatit · 13/07/2022 11:41

Thanks for all the comments.

If I'm honest we could probably find some space in the shed, but who wants to do that. I'll tell her later today, I know she won't be happy but 4 years free storage can't be grumbled at.

OP posts:
LoudingVoice · 13/07/2022 19:31

Good luck OP, how did she take it?

CactusBlossom · 13/07/2022 19:38

Give her deadline by which she needs to collect it. I kept something for over 30 years for a family member -- in the end, they didn't want it any more. 🙄

MinnieGirl · 13/07/2022 19:40

She’s been a bit cheeky really… those Sylvanian houses were massive!
Youve been kind for four years but can’t do it any more… and you will need any storage for your own family. Tell her she needs to pick it up by next weekend or you will take it to the tip/list it on ebay

Original poster
haveyourcakeandeatit · 13/07/2022 19:42

LoudingVoice · 13/07/2022 19:31

Good luck OP, how did she take it?

She just said "no problem" it was a text message so who knows really what she thinks. She didn't mention our house move either, which though she may have.

OP posts:
chiffchaffchiff · 13/07/2022 19:44

I feel for you. When my parents moved country I offered our garage if they got stuck for storage while they sorted out a house. They filled it to the brim... 5 years ago. I can't be too tough, I knew they needed two years before they could get a mortgage then my dad started having health problems. He hasn't been able to work for nearly a year now because of his health. It's still tough. My mum likes to hang on to things whereas I have the attitude of "if I haven't needed it for a couple of years then I don't really need it".

Original poster
haveyourcakeandeatit · 13/07/2022 19:44

MinnieGirl · 13/07/2022 19:40

She’s been a bit cheeky really… those Sylvanian houses were massive!
Youve been kind for four years but can’t do it any more… and you will need any storage for your own family. Tell her she needs to pick it up by next weekend or you will take it to the tip/list it on ebay

I know, why keep that crap I think it's bloody awful the toy house. But it's obviously sentimental to her.

OP posts:
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