What the f can you do

[babasaclover]

When you have nothing left to give? I'm so hollow and exhausted from my alleged failings as a wife and parent.

I literally feel numb

You stop. You do the bare minimum to get through - go on the sick if possible. Drop housework standards, do beans on toast, sleep, get fresh air, eat an apple. Take time then look at the exact issues and how you need your life to be then make a list of changes needed to get there and work on them, bit at a time (I'm talking anything from leaving an abusive husband right down to doing a load of laundry every day etc).

If you are willing to give some more info about your specific situation, I'll get there are people here who have been through it to and will be able to provide more detailed and relevant help but I didn't want to leave your post unanswered

“Alleged failings” implies someone is putting you down.

I read on here that “Nothing changes if nothing changes”, so look after YOU, OP.

That ‘someone’ seems perfectly capable of looking after themselves. Prioritise yourself.

If you’re able to open up a little, we can give more advice 💐

Im guessing this isnt your reality, rather someone elses failing projected onto you. Be kind to yourself, rest, breathe then get back in your power x

I agree you have to stop. I would suggest you self certify for a week,get the kids to school ,go back to bed.go sit in the sunshine, rest up and be lazy. Yes it goes against the grain but you will make yourself ill if you carry on. Your mind and body is saying enough now.Its been a traumatic few years we have lived through Op and it catches up on everyone. If you don;t look out for you no one else will and you will become poorly. Now is your time for a little break and you need it or you will be no use to anyone, You are not failing anyone by the way,every wife and mother gives a million times more than is needed on a daily basis it never stops for us. We carry and shoulder a lot. Please listen to your body and your mind and carve out sometime to be kind to you. I promise you your whole being will thank you for it. Be brave and take some time out to look after you.

What’s happened OP? Xx

Thank you all so much for relying. I'm just desperate, have had to make my own life with my child cause husband isn't interested. Snaps at us both when we don't exactly comply. Never wants to go anywhere ever as a family as he doesn't like people, yet tells me I'm a bad mum and wife as I don't give him any sex.

Honestly I'm so alone, I'm used to being alone but is it any wonder I don't want sec with someone who isn't engaged in family life in any way shape or form?

Can't thank you enough for responding. Really makes me feel like I'm not alone with my thoughts

so he is controlling you and putting you down.

can you kick him out? can you leave him? you do not have to live like this.

What a horrible way to choose to live OP. Make a better choice as you do have that right. he does not own you - yet.

Sex isn’t something you “give” to a selfish demanding partner, it is something you share with each other in a mutually loving relationship. I am not in the least surprised that you don’t want to provide it as a service on demand like some sort of unpaid prostitute.
What does this shit of a husband actually bring to your table, OP? Is there any reason to stay with him, anything you enjoy about his company? Or do you simply feel trapped?
I would seriously consider divorce in your position.