First time posting, just need somewhere to moan / shout into the void without feeling like I’m being silly.
23 year old single first time mum to be expecting a girl. 41 weeks tomorrow and feeling like I just want to scream!!! I’m so hormonal, moody, emotional. Everyone and everything is annoying me to the end of my fucking tether to be honest. I’m trying not to let it show as I’m now living with my parents and siblings and they have all been so wonderful, I’m so grateful for them and me being a bitch is not what they deserve at all. Breathe…
Had a failed membrane sweep on Friday, meant to be hearing from my midwife today as to when she’ll see me next / offer another sweep / possibly book me an induction but no word yet. I don’t want to bother her too much as she must be so busy. But waiting around for something to happen is almost unbearable!!
Bit of background, I’ve had a difficult pregnancy to say the least. I have PCOS and due to the severity of my symptoms and family history I suspect (and have been told) it could be endo. So this pregnancy was completely unexpected but I’ve always wanted children and getting pregnant saved my life quite frankly.
Very bad hyperemesis until around 6 months to the point I couldn’t work, I think made worse by stress and anxiety due to “sperm donor” let’s call him. I’m so happy I’m going to be a mum but my god why did it have to be him?? He’s been completely cut out of mine and baby’s life for good reason, alcoholic, emotionally abusive, complete narcissist, police involvement since around 3 months pregnant, he was arrested for stalking and harassing me not long ago, Clare’s Law uncovered previous DV allegations by other women, possibly going to prison for sexual assault…just an absolute scumbag. Totally ashamed of who my baby’s father is and all the guilt that comes with that eats me up sometimes.
Low iron means I’ve been so damn tired all the time. I’ve been taking tablets which helped a little but the last few days I’ve ran out and my god the tiredness and breathlessness is back with a vengeance!!
I’ve also been suffering with sciatica down my left and it makes moving around / walking quite difficult. It’s always there but some days it’s a lot more pain than other days.
I’ve been told baby is low down, my cervix is soft but baby is back to back. I don’t have a lot of fluid around baby but apparently still in normal range. She moves plenty, I’ve been trying to stay active as much as possible, rolling around on a yoga ball, staying hydrated, up and down stairs sideways like a demented crab…COME ON BABY GIRL!!! I’m so uncomfortable all the time, there’s no relief. I’ve waited so long and fought so hard for my little miracle, I just want her here in my arms :(
And don’t get me started on this heat!! I’m absolutely terrified of baby coming this week given the weekend we’re in for. 36 degrees!! What if she over heats?? I’m sat here in front of a fan sweating my tits off and worrying myself stupid. ARGHHHH!!!
please tell me someone can relate … also if anyone has any positive induction stories that’d be grand as I’ve read the NHS website telling me it’s more painful than going into labour naturally … can you tell I’m a worrier? Send help!!