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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about potential bullying?

5 replies

TakingThePeanuts · 11/07/2022 21:52

I’m really conflicted here and I don’t know how to handle this situation.
Both my Ds’s have made friends with a boy their age (11) and over the last few months have become quite close and good friends, however this boy is very volatile and flies off the handle at the slightest remark or if he doesn’t get his own way.

He seems to have it in for one of my dss and even though they play together very well most of the time, he always has a dig at him or by pushing him, my ds isn’t tiny so generally stands his ground.
However it has just become very physical as the other boy lost a game turned round and gone to punch my ds, who in turn has punched him straight in the face and it turned in to a full on fight before I could get up and drag them apart.

Now obviously I know kids fight and sometimes that can’t be stopped, but they go to school together and are moving up to senior school and have been told they will be in the same class.

I am most definitely not one of those parents who think their child does no wrong and will always pull my dc up for bad behaviour, but the boys mum, although she does tell him off really has a complex that her ds is being picked on if he’s told off and kind of a excuses his behaviour.
This isn’t the first fight he’s had and is often removed from class or loses his playtime, but this is just so out of character for my ds who has never had a fight and is such a stickler for rules, especially in school and I really don’t any this boy in his class as I just feel like he will turn into a bully, because he sees and knows my ds will try to somehow embarrass him just to impress others.

My dh is going crazy and saying I must call the school tomorrow and obviously stop speaking to the boys mum, which I do think I need to do or at least try to have an honest conversation with her.

what do you think I should do?

OP posts:
ThreeLittleDots · 11/07/2022 22:01

The secondary school will put them in different classes if you ask them to. I'd not want them to socialise with him again as long as he was acting like an asshat.

TakingThePeanuts · 11/07/2022 22:15

I didn’t think they would, but will definitely give them a call tomorrow.

Its really hard, mum is such a lovely woman and you can see that she is really struggling with his behaviour and really doesn’t know how to handle him as he rules her and often speaks trashy to her, whereas mine wouldn’t even dare to look at me sideways.

She messaged me about an hour ago as her ds was asking why mine wasn’t online and I’ve told her, even though he was sticking up for himself I do not condone fighting and has lost the privilege of his Xbox for 2 days and she was shocked I would do that as her ds hasn’t been punished at all.

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ThreeLittleDots · 11/07/2022 22:25

Unfortunately you can't control her poor choices, apart from separating your children from hers when they affect them.

sst1234 · 11/07/2022 22:28

Teach them that if pushed, push back harder. If punched, punch harder. If slapped, slap so hard they don’t see it coming. Teach them not to take this crap. about If they put up with it now, the feral kids will make their lives hell forever.

TakingThePeanuts · 11/07/2022 22:48

sst1234 · 11/07/2022 22:28

Teach them that if pushed, push back harder. If punched, punch harder. If slapped, slap so hard they don’t see it coming. Teach them not to take this crap. about If they put up with it now, the feral kids will make their lives hell forever.

Oh I’ve definitely taught them that, but a i said ds is such a stickler for rules that hitting back not something he’s ever really done.
He has taken so much that he just flipped and he has lost his Xbox because of fighting it was mainly because of the way he spoke to me even though I assured him he wasn’t in trouble for hitting back.

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