I've posted previously about ex - DS dad - he was abusive, it's ended 3 months ago. In that time he hasn't seen DS. He would need to be supervised, my family and friends said no. His sister yes, on condition he was stable. A friends partner has since volunteered but wouldn't be able to commit to doing it regularly. I want the big picture laid out so please bear with me it's long-
Yes, ex drinks excessively, he's aggressive when drunk. Smokes weed too. I suspect he will be a much better dad if only a couple of hours, supervised and while not under the influence. He's since had an argument with his sister, made up, visits regularly etc although she just doesn't believe he's stable to see him. I passed on a message regarding DS and possible autism diagnosis.
Bumped into ex today, with DS, he approached asking if he could say hello to him, I nodded. He gave him a few pounds and had a little chat. DS doesn't say words properly, I said this was possible autism and ex got very upset, he'd had no idea. He begged for contact, said he has asked the two people who agrees, they say they'll arrange something but never do. He is a pathological liar at times however, this is exactly what I would expect from these 2 people if I'm honest. He asked if I would let him see with me supervising, apologised (which I brushed off) and said he knows it's over but would just like to see his son. We've had occasions in the past where he was arrested for DV, even went to jail and has never, ever told me he knew it was over. He did also say people got in my head, he realised that he was wrong and that he'll always miss us. But this time I said my truth rather than nodding and smiling.
I don't want to see him but I'm struggling to think of any other way for him to see DS safely. Contact centres are few and far between here and, as neither of us drive, would be extremely difficult to get to.
Do I agree on the basis there are no conversations between us other than discussing DS? Or do I just continue on and hope DS understands that I didn't want to do this but had no choice. FFS I've been doing so well and now I'm stuck on how to move forward. My friends agree it's a hard place to be but say it's all his own fault.