AIBU to be shocked by DS's question

[strandedabroad]

Out of the blue, he asked me "Mummy, do you like us? Do you love us?" (meaning him and his siblings). He's nearly 6.

I tell them regularly that I love them. I don't know why he asked if I like them🙁I felt so crap. I have my moments when I might get a bit frustrated with behaviour but we're generally happy and nothing has happened to make him think I don't like/love him.

Is this a normal question to ask at this age?

Kids ask all sorts of weird questions. My ds is also 6 and asked me something similar. He just wanted to know if I liked him the best 🤣. If nothing else has happened then I wouldn't worry about it.

I find questions like this seem to be common in ages 4-7 especially - heard a few other parents in past few months share stories and I've had a few comments myself. Normal.

I think this is a normal way that children explore emotions. My DS would ask "Are you proud of me?" The answer was always "yes of course."

I'd say you're overthinking this. My 5 year old has started asking me this. We tell her all the time how much we love her. We just repeat the same thing that we like and love her very much when she asks. I think the kids at school are probably asking it and so she's just repeating it. I don't read anything in to it.

It'll be something they've heard or seen on tv. Often see/read about parents saying 'I love you, but I don't like your behaviour right now' etc in things aimed at kids. He'll just be thinking about and exploring that idea.

Nothing to worry about. Kids ask all sorts of questions that an adult doesn’t.

Totally normal. Honestly nothing to worry about!

Did you ask him op? I’m not quite aligned with rhe previous answers, my child never asked this, in fact she ran around telling everyone she was adorable and that everyone loved her.

I think it’s irrelevant about other kids, you don’t know what’s going on in those homes or how they parent. The key thing is you answer, of course,I love you all more than anything and like you to the moon and back, what’s worrying you, why do you ask, you can tell me.?

basically gently try to find out what’s caused him to ask

I asked him why he wasn't sure if I liked/loved them, he said he just wanted to check!

I remember my dd being about 5 and looking so surprised and pleased when I told her she was my very favourite girl in the whole world. 'Even more favourite than 'friend'?' She asked!

I said of course!! Now I tell her all the time, even though she's now of the age where she gets embarrassed 🤣

My 4 year old asked me why I didn’t earn enough money to buy a bigger, more fun house! Thanks kid, I do my best on my NHS wage 😂

Hummm ... Could we be related ???

Children who stropp and try emotional manipulation get the introduced to the concept that they can still be loved and not liked, both at the same time, because of bad behaviour is a choice. Loving is unconditional, liking is conditional. Don't try to say "you don't love me because ...." or say "I hate you because ... " the answer is still NO and you are still loved.

This is what I was thinking. Something he's heard has likely piqued his curiosity and made him question the unconditional love he has from you.
Or, he's come across something that made him need reassurance.
Depending on how it was asked I'd either make out he's being completely ridiculous and OF COURSE you love and like them - your heart is exploding etc, or if he genuinely seemed concerned, then sit him down and explain how it all works - that you will never ever stop loving them and gently try and find out if there's something worrying him.

Yabu to be "shocked".

My son (5) accuses me of not loving or liking him all the time when he is upset. He is extremely loved and told often. I think it's normal for that age to become aware of these things.

My 4 year old told me she doesn't love me any more because I wouldn't give her another yogurt."I just love Daddy".

You have been told!

Like the others say, kids ask weird questions all the time. I'd only be worried if it came at a time where you know and admit you have been grumpy around them/telling them off more often/taking out stress on them. If not and the question was random, just put it down to 6 year old weirdness.

Of course this is a normal question, I'm 32 and still ask my mum if she loves me (usually to then transition to asking for something )

You've got a lot to learn if this is a genuine question tbh

Mine told me my car is messy and I need to buy a new one! Never mind that any mess is caused by her

"Mummy, what do you love best? Daddy, or the news?"

That's a question I was randomly asked once!
Little kids just ask (cute) questions about the world.

Apparently I asked my mum if I was adopted when I was younger and the love question.

I’m sure that it’s just a question and maybe he just wants to hear it again :-) kids do say weird stuff sometimes one time there was a news thing about a mum killing her child and my boy said “would you ever kill me?” I just used it as a way to talk to him and say of course not and didn’t read too much into it.

My then 4 year old grandson asked me if I would remember him when he died!
9 years later I am happy to say he is a happy, healthy teenager with no recollection of the conversation 🙂

They just like to hear you saying you love them. Really over-egg it and tell them you love them more than the moon, stars, chocolate pizza etc. They love this!

No need to be patronising. He's my first and yep, I have a lot to learn.