To let my DD move schools?

[StaceyDooleyHonestly]

I am a single Mum to 2 kids and work full time so life is pretty hectic at the best of times.
My DD is in yr 5 and has been refusing to go to school regularly (couple of times a week) for months now.
It used to be “tummy ache” which I put down to anxiety. We’ve talked a lot about things and she’s finally told me it’s mainly due to her friendship group who had a falling out over a month ago.
She is due to go to an independent school for yr 7 so will not be with anyone from her current school in a year’s time.
To get her back to attending school every day, would you let her move to the independent to start there for yr6 instead - she’s said she wants to do this?

Can you afford to send her there and is there a place? I think I would first encourage reconciling with the friendship group as a) it’s better to be friendly with most people even if not best friends and b) she won’t know anyone at the new school, plus presumably some of them will leave for year 7, so she might make friends and then they’ll go. I think joining in year 6 when the rest of the class has been together for ages might be hard.
If you can work through those issues then I would let her start early, yes.

I was in your position a couple of years ago. My DD2 had been unhappy in her school because of her friends. It was a very small prep school (about 100 kids in total) and her year group was mostly boys and she did not get on well with the 3 girls in her class. My DD1 was in another all girls school and we were planning to move DD2 for year 7, but we moved her early for year 6. She made new friends, got her confidence back and is very happy. It worked out well for us.

I can afford it, would need to check if there was a space, if there wasn’t that would be the end of discussion.

I have always thought it’s best to sort out a problem than run from it but the friendship group issue has only been in the last month or so and this has been going on since before Christmas so I don’t know if it’s the straw that broke the camels back?

If she's not attending school then her education is suffering.

I think a fresh start in year 6 is a good idea especially if that's the same school she's going to be at for year 7 onwards anyway.

There's no point trying to improve the previous friendship group and potentially failing to improve things if they only have 1 school year together left.

Get on the phone today and see if they’ll take her for year 6! You’ve only got 1.5 weeks left if in England? Not really enough time to sort friendship issues.

I’ve just left a message with potential new school as I realise that if there’s no place for her, it’s end of conversation. We’ll see what they say.

If they have a place I'd send her. Normally I'd encourage her to try and fix the friendship issues first, but her education is so important and given she'd be moving in a year anyway I think the time is better spent getting back to school full time and making new friends. I would want to have a discussion first, that she would need to commit to making the move work and to make sure she has realistic expectations of the move. The former would mean she needs to be prepared to attend school full time. The later she needs to know that it could take a while to make new friends.

Yes, I would definitely need commitment from her of 100% attendance at the new school if she goes.

She is socially confident and I’m sure will make friends, she is very conscious of her weight though so does get upset quite easily.

If there’s a place and you can afford it, I would no question. I’d do it just to avoid SATs even without the friendship issues.

If there is a space move her. But bear in mind if the issue continues you may need to rethink secondary. Has she got a definite place for y7?

Change schools if you can afford to.

I'd change jobs if I didn't get on with any of my colleagues and could afford to, and there was an alternative. I wouldn't make my kids stick out a situation I wouldn't.

I’ve spoken to the school and they don’t have any spaces for yr 6 - gutted! She doesn’t definitely have a place for yr 7 as needs to take the entrance exam but I’m confident she will pass and already has a sibling at the school so should be at the front of the list.