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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm not the issue am I?

9 replies

incywincywanker · 11/07/2022 06:21

PP
I'm broken so please be kind

Won't go into to much story but I really need to leave and I have 0 options open for me ?

I feel like such a stupid stupid little girl for having another baby an now I'm going to be left high an dry with 4 kids..... who he will see on HIS terms and do NO appointments with? We have hospital appointments with 2 oldest dc very regularly an he refuses to do them to give me a break, it's a whole 12 hour day if not longer in hospital inc travel. I'm just fed up! why can he say what he does an doesn't want to do but I just get on with it because I have to wn say absolutely F all!!!!

Past few weeks he keeps going on about the fact I had sex before I knew him/met him snd he knows the people (he literally knows everyone we're we are from so this is obvious) and wants to know every detail about what happened but simply I cannot remember and I don't care to remember it was over 10 years ago so I don't think it's relevant ??
So last night he kept asking me for sex again, even though I knock him sick and I'm a fat ugly mess?? But I have thrush (been on holiday an used a shit shower gel 😩) and was falling asleep so he went crazy! I'd been up since half 5 with dc an took all 3 out for the day on my own. He got out of bed at 8, went straight out after he had his coffee in bed an came back as I was leaving with dc, then did nothing all day but lay around until I come back then he sits on sofa on his phone why I cook tea, feed, bath and then put kids to bed so I'm tierd plus pregnant. He isn't !!! So because I kept nodding off he jumped up and started to scream I need to go fuck someone who interests me I'm just a slag he doesn't know why he's put up with me for so long im the biggest slag walking I need stick to been a whore, hes had better sex else we're ours is shit then he started "when you slept with xyz where did you have sex " "how many times " "what was it like" well I can't remember it was so long ago. I know we had sex but I can't recall every detail, so im on my side facing the wall, he jumped on top of me and pushed my head into the pillow an started to push his fingers into my eyes ???
I couldn't breath and I had a panic attack stood in the corner of the bedroom when I managed to get up
He was fine until I got pregnant! He wanted this baby, he convinced me....
What the F did I do wrong ? Did I do something wrong an not realise ?
Iv been with him 10+ years, had all his children, I pay all the bills and even care for his other kids I ask nothing from him, I don't go out and if I do I have all the kids or I'm with him, I don't drink or smoke, I have no social media, wtf am I doing wrong ??
I can't take no more I'm so on the edge I just want to get my kids an run- but where do I run we have nowhere an now I'm pregnant again. I'm so stupid to get myself in his position!

Financially I can afford to live an support me and the kids alone as I do now he give us nothing maybe the odd £30 towards my meat for the week but the mortgage is in his name so it's me who has to leave.....

OP posts:
whoamitodisabrie · 11/07/2022 06:24

You poor thing

you need to try to get out. He is abusive and you don’t deserve it.

incywincywanker · 11/07/2022 06:27

I'm going to take the dc to school and ring a homeless family unit locally see if they can help. I know he's going to wake up as if nothing has happened again an try get on with me like when he broke my nose a few weeks back. I'm deflated and broken literally

OP posts:
Icecreamsodaloda · 11/07/2022 06:31

He's a pathetic abusive piece of shit and nobody deserves to be treated like that. Honestly OP I fear for your safety long term of you stay, you need to take the children and leave. Can you call Woman's Aid for advice?

coodawoodashooda · 11/07/2022 06:35

incywincywanker · 11/07/2022 06:27

I'm going to take the dc to school and ring a homeless family unit locally see if they can help. I know he's going to wake up as if nothing has happened again an try get on with me like when he broke my nose a few weeks back. I'm deflated and broken literally

Women's Aid will help you. They have seen all of this before. They understand. He is nasty and you don't have to live like that

HollowTalk · 11/07/2022 06:35

He is horribly abusive and should go to prison for what he's doing to you. I am a bit worried about the thrush that you have and wonder whether he has passed on an STD.

incywincywanker · 11/07/2022 06:37

HollowTalk · 11/07/2022 06:35

He is horribly abusive and should go to prison for what he's doing to you. I am a bit worried about the thrush that you have and wonder whether he has passed on an STD.

To be honest he said i had an std/Sti from sleeping around. It's pretty much cleared now ( I dare tell him) but was from changing my shower gel. I'm very sensitive down below an ran out whilst away :( !! Xx

OP posts:
loislovesstewie · 11/07/2022 06:40

You need to get out or get him out today. He is being abusive , he won't change, he will only get worse. If he starts today, call the police, call Women's Aid, call the homeless section at your local authority, but please get out. You should not be living like this and your kids WILL suffer too. Needing to know about your sex life before you met is a huge red flag without all the other abuse.

ApolloandDaphne · 11/07/2022 06:57

He is abusing you and it sounds like the violence is escalating. You need to get out with your children. I hope you do call Womens Aid and they can help you before you are seriously injured or worse.

JustLyra · 11/07/2022 06:59

It’s very common for abuse to start during pregnancy.

please do call Women’s Aid and get their help to safely leave.

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