ok so even i think i am a bit but here's the best place to get some pick-me ups.....

[glaskham]

right bit of a long story, i know i'm being unreasonable....but what i really want is advice and tips how to not feel like this....will give the story though so you know how it came about....

so last night DH was having a bit of time on his playstation while i watched my soaps...normal setup for us...anyway the game he was playing was something where you had to make a hospital to treat all the diseases they said...all made-up but a bit foul and rude (15 rated game btw) and one of the diseases was called 'nob-rot'...well it had the pair of us in stitches laughing!!

anyway we go to bed to watch a film and DH gets fixed on the tv and is stood up in the middle of the room watching tv in a trance and i just shout 'come on to bed nob-rot' and laugh (making a joke from the funny name we'd both laughed at)....then he retaliated by saying 'yeah i'm coming bucket-fanny'....i know it wsupposed to be a joke but it really upset me....and he realised that he'd used the wrong name to call me and tried to appologise, but i was too upset, and just said i knew being upset was stupid as it was a joke, and i'd started it by calling him a name...

well i rolled over and ignored his attempts to seduce me and told him i was still upset, and just to let me go to sleep and i'd be fine about it in the morning, brushing it off with a busy day, and being tired...

anyway, i woke up with his alarm this morning, but pretended to be asleep so i didn't have to talk to him as i still felt hurt and upset.... well he was ready for work and gave me a kiss (thinking i was asleep) before leaving which he doesn't normally do for fear of waking me up (as he hates waking me for some reason)....i was crying as he left as i know i'm in the wrong, well i'm not wrong, but i'm not in the right for being so sensitive....

i sent him a text saying i was sorry and it was my fault...but i'm over it, when i'm still upset, but dont want him feeling bad when he's done nothing wrong....

so what do i do to make things better and make myself not feel so bad?and make it up to him that i over-reacted last night....???

(oh btw....i'm not normally so extra sensitive so this is a very new feelign for me....and obviously for DH to get this reaction from me....i am very puzzled why i felt like i did...)

Are you premenstrual?????

Your husband sounds sweet, I wish mine would try not to wake me and kiss me in the mornings.

Anyway you will get loads of usefull advice shortly I'm sure.

Oh and I didn't think you were unreasonable, sometimes things upset us.

Agreed your dh sounds sweet. Just explain that he didn't do anything 'wrong' as such so he doesn't feel bad. That even you don't know why you got so upset and just agree to keep namecalling taboo until you're less sensitive. I'm sure you'll both be fine.

thanks Rosylily....i feel i'm being unreasonable as its not like me to be like this...i'm not premenstrual either, had my period just over a week ago, and i never get PMT anyway....

AW glaskam, you know you were being extra sensitive.

Next time he says it (as if he would dare) say "it only feels like a bucket fanny 'cos your knob is so small"

(joking, btw, just wanted to make you smile!!)

i just feel really guilty he's gone to work with his tail between his legs because he upset me last night....

i am very lucky to have my DH and yes he is very sweet....i cant say enough about him he's so nice!! and i think that makes it worse....that he never had any intentions to call me such a horrid name.... and we dont often name call unless its with our ds who loves having who's a sausage fights (ie- 'your a sausage, no your a sausage' sort of thing- dont know where he got it!!)

MamaVonG...thanks, that did make me smile!!

Many a man would shed tears if their wife called their willy small. Maybe tell your dh that you are still upset so he can reassure you that he likes your 'bucket fanny' I'm sure he does

well i told him last night that saying things about my lady bits was very hurtful and if 'bucket fanny' was the words that came into his mouth about the one thing of me he ALWAYS seems to want then whats that saying about the rest of me!! i know i've put on weight since he met me, i put on a lot since having my 2 kids...about 3 stone in all.....and i have body issues as it is, but dont let it get me down as i'm trying my hardest to do something about that....

Im sorry, but i did have to have a little chuckle about this, but in a kind, oh how sweet sort of way. Step back and you will see that the poor sod just came back with something to get at your bits, the way you got at his! He meant nothing by it.

Little chuckle aside, i think you have made your point, i dont think he will be calling you it again Just let it go, telling him that you just feel a bit sensitive about your appearance lately and that is why you overreacted. Honestly, this is really not worth dragging on - you will only make yourself miserable.

Can you suggest a little treat for the pair of you? One that involves you being in the same room and not doing things seperately (says LEM who's fingers are welded to her keyboard lately).

can i say, i know men think very basically and sometimes make it look like they only want one bit of us (that bit). But they only want that bit if the other bits fit together in a way that suits. Also, it can't be that bad then can it if he wants it so much.

Make a joke of it, but make him squirm for a while, but as a JOKE. I mean, it has to earn you some massage vouchers, or hot bath vouchers doesnt it??

Oh, FWIW, my DP always comments on my rather roomy bits, but he LIKES it like that very strange man, my DP

I think it was just the first tease he could think of as a retort to 'nob-rot' and meant nothing. The issue is you feeling a bit insecure about your attractiveness which we all go through at different stages. So don't be too hard on yourself!

oops x-posts lem!

thanks...i dont know why i brought up my issues with my own body to be honest...i think that why it was so sensetive....or at least thats the only reason i can think of why it has got to me so much....i have just spoken to him on the phone and i didn't mention it as he didn't either...i think we're fine....and venting on here has made me realise i'm fine....just i suppose we'd had no closure over the fall-out last night....

I think even if it was a tease it was still a pretty nasty thing to say.

Women tend to be be very sensitive about their nethers once they've stretched them to buggery during child birth, I know I am.

I think you are feeling down on yourself, your self image is low and a comment like that is really going to hit hard.

If you want to however you can do something about both your excess weight and your fanjo. Pelvic floor exercises work very well at tightening things up, but you have to do lots of them everyday.

if I were you I would take stock, take control and sort the things out that are causing you to feel badly about yourself

Well thanks for all the advise....i made Dh's fave meal for tea last night, and he got home and we never mentioned what happened the night before, we happily made up, and are back as we always are!!

Luckily it was payday today as he's taking me shopping while DS is at nursery!! said i can choose a nice dress for the family party next weekend!! wuhoo!!

thanks again for making me smile!!

your DH sounds like a star