To not want DH's grandads name as a middle name for DS

[cardiff987]

We have just had a baby, DP wants to give him his grandads name. (Still alive but not long left)

Don't get me wrong, he has always been lovely to me whenever we see him, always friendly. However, I have been made aware of his views on race, and have once experienced him commenting on the topic which i hate.

With our baby being mixed I'm not sure I really want him named after a man with those views.

The problem is he has already mentioned it so it will absolutely be clear it is me that doesn't want it.

Do I just let DP have this?!

No, not if it will make you associate your son's name with racist views.

The only time a name should be announced is when both parents have agreed on it.

Lots of people thought I'd name my DC after very much loved grandparents but I didn't, I'll remember them in other ways.

Definitely not.

No. You’re going to live with that name for a long time.

No one cares about middle names
is it important to dh?

YANBU at all

Bit difficult. He's been lovely to you. Where did the comments about his views on race come from? Is your DP aware of the comments?

You didn't get lumbered with an unusual one and mercilessly teased about it at school, then?