New neighbours. Messy, Noisy and PDA.

[ChamomileLawn]

They are moving in and taking their sweet time over it. Scattering bits all over the lawn. Niggling and bickering. He wants this bit in, she throws it out. Then they make up with total over the top public affection cooing and snogging loudly.

I like the way you think!
🤣

Mine like to bathe naked

Pic 2 - one of them's saying "Fuck sake, thought you said this place was private with no overlooking NDNs!!" They're wondering if they should build a higher fence or put some trellis up to stop you spying on them.

That made me laugh!

My neighbours decided to leave their perfectly good home and make a new one in my chimney pot. Their coos echo all down the chimney and into my living room, they literally give no shits about how loud they are.

I love this thread. So light hearted and makes me laugh. Thanks OP

Russell and Cheryl (round our way) only have one offspring this year the Maggies only two, I worry about the whereabouts of Sid and Nancy as I found a lot of green feathers on the deck yesterday.
I need to take their breakfast out otherwise I will be shunned, and become personna non grata in the neighbourhood.

Mine do that too but the use next door's bath! It's just so rude! I don't know if neighbours know because they work at the (mag)pie factory all day.

My neighbours are currently shagging right outside my open bedroom window.

I've just yelled "Oi! Pigeons! Get bloody room / tree!"

Time to Google “bad pigeon nests”. I do this every now and then when I need a laugh!

Nice thread OP. ❤️
This lovely has started appearing on my shed roof around 5 in the morning...In true London fashion we avoid eye contact and pretend we haven't noticed each other....
(Sorry about the awful quality images, potato phone camera)

Have they started going on about their hurt toes?

@ChamomileLawn This is really hard when you get new neighbours.
I can only suggest you go over with a Lemon Drizzle Cake or perhaps one of Nigella's five spiced bunts and welcome them to the neighbourhood. If they will not speak to you then I would I would go down the ringing the police or the army route. Or ask them if they will go halves on some trellis. Make sure you keep a diary of all twig throwing & PDAs you may need this for the civil action down the line.

Pity it's too hot to light a fire.....

Honestly OP, keep your beak out of it. You sound like a right tit.

We have similar neighbors and ours are a nightmare! Last year they were frolicking on our roof, she then set up a nest in our tree and sat and tended the babies while he literally shagged anything that landed within half a mile… I told her several times to get her ducks in a row but I’m not sure she understood

Poor Victoria is sitting in a half built pile of twigs. Albert isn’t much help. He flies down for a new twig, stops off to have a nibble on the seed then forgets to pick up his twig, flaps up to the nest and Vicky has a go at him for being useless.

LTB Vicky

Well at long last the brawling has stopped, now they've taken to sitting at different areas of the garden cooing menacingly at each other. I'm going to have to log it with 101 if it carries on.

One of mine is obviously being sexually harassed. He keeps chasing her up and down the garden even though she really doesn't like him.

On the other side there is great co-parenting Dad.

I’m having this problem. I have a conservatory and lady pigeon lands on the apex of the roof and coos around for a bit. Minute or so later blokey pigeon turns up and tries to mount her. Lots of flapping. They then slide down the roof which is at enough of angle that they can’t stay still but they’re too thick to work that out. More flapping and also the sound of their feet scraping down the Perspex roof till they slide off the edge and flap over to the fence.

Ten minutes later they start again 😑

I don't mind the neighbours, but the squatters in my home are annoying. I keep opening the door to show them out but they pretend they can't see it, then spend all day banging on the windows instead. I keep finding them dead by the windows and have to dispose of their bodies! And they try to help themselves to my food every time I turn my back.

.
Our resident squatters, the house martins are quite safe high up attached to our house, don’t see much of them, a lot of swooping and foraging just before dusk and early morning. The babies must be getting their flight feathers by now, heard allot of chatter last night, woke up to soft fluffy white feathers on the garden. No sign of little corpses though.

Lonelycrab that blokey pigeon personifies ( pigeonifies ) the triumph of hope over experience.

I have a squatter who I only saw a couple of times recently but I believe his is called Rob. He comes here over the winter and bullies the usual residents with his big red waistcoat and his flapping. I can see others eating from my squirrel proof bird feeder and he fixes them with a steely eye and sits on the fence daring them them to keep eating - they fly off and he settles down to a nice lunch. Not sure what to do - at the very least it is intimidation but should I just let it go ?

The shagging neighbours outside bedroom window are finally exhausted, presumably quietly sharing a post coital worm.

Then a couple of floors above them, loads of rustling and chuntering as Tufty and Mrs Tufty get jiggy on the twiggy