If you have adult children who are good with money then please tell me about how you did pocket money?

[coodawoodashooda]

I am a single mum whose xh was useless with money. Spent it all on himself and couldn't spend it fast enough. Any ideas appreciated .

I consider myself very good with money. I never really got pocket money as such but I did get my first summer job at 13 and was babysitting every weekend too. So from there I learned to love saving money. I love budgeting and sticking to it. And I love earning my own money and saving.

Elton John (yes the man who spent hundreds if thousands on flowers 😂) has what I think is a good idea. He gives his kids 3 jars each and they have to split their pocket money into the jars, one is for spending, one is for saving and one is for charity.

I can’t say I’m particularly knowledgeable about ISA and savings but I’m very careful with money. My sister is not so. My parents had much harder time financially when I was a teen so they always discussed value of money and limits openly. I was encouraged to save for big things mainly because it’s the only way to get them. I think it’s made a difference not pocket money.

I'm the adult child

One year I received a metal cash box as a present & I used to count & write the amount of pennies in a little book.weekly

I started my first PT job at 16 & this meant that I had the freedom to spend & save for the first time.

I've always been good with; money, savings, investments & shares

My siblings was the polar opposite !

Mine never had pocket money ( I literally had no spare cash to give her). I think her growing up in a house where money was tight taught her well.

We didn't do structured pocket money, but when both were old enough to have bank accounts we set those up and put in a monthly allowance, with a clear list of what that money was for (i.e. extras, birthday presents for friends, clothes other than schoolwear and pants/socks etc).

THey're now 19 and 21 and frugal as hell.

I think the key thing is to let them ‘fail’ in a gentle controlled manner so they learn while they can’t get credit and not to bail them out when they get it wrong. That way any mistake has a very low impact on their long term but a big impact on them immediately if they run out of money and can’t go somewhere they want to etc

My DS of 26yrs still talks of how much money he wasted on football stickers and is great with his finances.

I think this is the part I forget, that they need to enjoy wasting the money and learn the frustration of not having the money when they'd like it. Did anyone make their kids do jobs for the money?

I agree with you.

I have no idea what I did right but my son’s far better with money than I am. Perhaps he used me as an example of what not to do.

My two older kids are very good with money and I have no idea why. The eldest is earning now and rarely buys anything. I didn't formally give him pocket money. The next did get pocket money but rarely spends it and shops in charity shops etc... They are both very frugal and don't seem interested in possessions. I am not sure what I did or didn't do that causes this.

I was brought up in a pretty poor environment so it's possible I transferred something to them. I am okish with money.

But it was seeing the adult spending that had the greatest influence on me, just like seeing a tidy house or healthy eating habits

I agree with this. Unfortunately it's too late with the tidy house, but my DC will surprise me telling me something is too expensive to buy or that it would be wasteful to buy blah blah blah. Dh has got to them by example!

Most parents have no idea if their adult kids are good with money. It’s easy to pretend you are and run up huge credit card bills.

It’s pretty easy to tell from what they buy and their lifestyle.

People have a different buying desires and priorities. Pocket money can only change that so much. We had no pocket money as kids. I now don't spend money unless I need something. My brother however, well he lusts after spending ££££ on a watch and likes high end goods.

Well clearly I don't mean using a credit card for consumer protection and paying it off before there's any interest. Mobile phone contracts are technically "credit".

I would never encourage an 18 year old to use a credit card to pay for say a holiday and then spend 6 months paying it off with interest, for example, and I'd rather buy my son a car than him take on hire purchase.

As to why I avoid debt as much as possible - I work in mortgages and I've seen the interest rates from the lenders who will take on those with debt!

I gave them 50p per year of age per week (£2.50 when 5 yrs, £3 when 6 etc) until they got to secondary school when it went up to £1 per year of age per week.

When primary age they were expected to pay for treats, magazines, toys, subscriptions etc. I never bought them bits and pieces, they were expected to fund themselves, although I would fund annual subscriptions up front and they paid back monthly over the year. We ticked it off on a sheet to show the payments. They were expected to save too but I can't remember the percentage.

In secondary, expected to fund going out too.

When 14, they got a six monthly clothing allowance.

They both screwed up at various times and had to go without. Now they are both excellent with money and both save too.

Three adult sons all excellent with budgeting/savings. They didn't get pocket money, couldn't afford it. They would get money from grandparents about four times a year and used that for anything they wanted like lego kits, computer games. They lived through mortgage rates shooting up to 15% and having to downsize their home and other cost cutting exercises. If they wanted something, they always got it but they might have to wait for it or weigh up which item they wanted the most. Actually their first computer was bought on credit and eldest understood all about interest rates and how we had to pay more for it in order for him to have it sooner (they were much more expensive in the early 90s than now, think it cost more than our car😂) I think that seeing adults having to budget and hearing discussions about household bills is good for them, obviously in a child appropriate manner and without making them anxious.

My DS had a modest amount of pocket money and was always encouraged to save birthday and Christmas money gifts, he had an allowance to buy his own clothes, fund any social life etc. He was offered packed lunches or a very small budget for school meals - he chose the packed lunch.... he also had had various part time jobs since he was 13 (starting with a paper round) and really values money now that he sees how to 'earn' it. He sorted out a p/t job (in a football club - win win ) before he even left home for Uni. Went round washing cars during lockdown when p/t jobs were hard to find. He's got a strong work ethic, has worked in restaurants on Christmas Day etc as he knows he will earn well! Most of his friends seem to have been gifted a car at 17 ... we absolutely did not do that, he saved up and we gave him half towards his first car which he bought at 20 .. total cost £3k.
I'm not sure how much was really down to us (we are pretty frugal) or just luck.

I am good with money. Partly it was being given pocket money and immediately going to the shops and then to the building society each week and I liked to see it add up. Partly it was working from a young age and so seeing money coming in, but I also had to buy clothes and pay for transport from that.

The best bit of money sense I picked up was from a friend's parents. Their older daughter was young to uni and they gave her £400 and told her to treat that as a zero balance to avoid ending up overdrawn.

Talk about stuff.

Ask whether they'd rather have
two cheap ice lollies or one expensive ice cream.
Two trips to the cinema, own snacks, or one trip and buy a drink and popcorn there.
A brand new video game that's at release, or three slightly older ones.

Don't make money one of those things it's rude to talk about.
Ask whether they are saving for anything. Ask whether they'd rather go out for a meal, or buy a video game.

Talk about paying your bills, working out how much money is left, have i got enough for a treat etc.

Not to the extent they lie awake worrying about whether a bill can be paid! Just that managing money requires making choices.

Thanks everyone

I'm good with money.

I got a larger monthly allowance quite early on - but that was it. No extra £10 here and there for trips out / stuff I wanted. If I ran out I had to wait / say no / earn more doing chores.

I also had to buy EVERYTHING including school uniform so I learnt that value of 2nd hand early on.

I did exactly the same for all DCs with pocket money. Some are great with money. Some aren't.

You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink 😀

Three boys all had weekend summer jobs. Eldest would give you his last penny. Luckily his wife is canny because he is not as good. Middle one and youngest very careful with money. We never gave a set amount. University is a great learning experience in budgets