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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to charge my 18 year old rent?

18 replies

GNfan · 10/07/2022 12:58

Curious to know people's thoughts. My teenage daughter, aged 18, has just secured her first (gap year) job, and will continue to live with us until she goes to uni in Sept 2023. She will earn £12,000 for the year, which to her seems a fortune, and is actually more than than I earn for a part time retail job. Dad earns enough for us to not to have to charge her rent/upkeep at all - but that would seem wrong, and not a very good way to teach her about life. Any thoughts on if/how much we should charge her per week?

OP posts:
Riverlee · 10/07/2022 13:19

If she’s living with you for a year, then yes. Maybe you could start from September, so she gets a couple of months grace.

Youseethethingis1 · 10/07/2022 13:28

What's the point of earning if it's not to pay your way in life as the first order of business? Even if you only charged her a token £100 -£200 pcm she's still going to have more disposable fun money than the majority of the adult population of be this country so not exactly hard done by IMO.

Metalandtea · 10/07/2022 13:30

Why are you duplicating this?! You already posted about this with the same details! Don’t charge her rent was the main theme of all the other responses!

CuriousCatfish · 10/07/2022 13:30

I answered on your other thread.

DoingJustFine · 10/07/2022 13:33

I'm in exactly the same position and decided to charge DS1 rent. It's only 10% of what he earns every month. He didn't mind at all and said most of his friends' parents charge rent. In fact, the wealthier or more successful the parents, the more likely they were to charge their kids rent. (In his experience.)

I'd hoped to save it up for him but to be honest these days we really need it. 😱

Ontobetterthings · 10/07/2022 13:34

No way would I charge

Bluevelvetsofa · 10/07/2022 13:35

I think it’s a good idea to charge rent, when teenagers are earning. It gives them some idea of the need to budget for things they want/need and gives them an opportunity to save.

You can always put the money in a savings account and gift it later for a wedding/ house purchase etc.

Violet790 · 10/07/2022 13:36

Charging her rent is teaching her the value of money but I'd keep it at about £30 per week...

Bonheurdupasse · 10/07/2022 13:36

Yes charge her rent.
To other PP - can't think of what circumstances in a different thread would change my opinion towards not charging rent.

FourChimneys · 10/07/2022 13:39

We didn't charge ours but they are very sensible and invested most of it rather than frittering it away.

If they had been the frittering type we would have charged, then invested it for when they were older.

This comes from a position of privilege though. Many parents will need to charge and they should not feel bad about it.

FogoInn · 10/07/2022 13:39

I wouldn't charge rent in a gap year. I would look at it as their chance to budget their own spending money and save some for university.
My DD is 19 and worked for 3 months last summer and this summer. We don't take any of this for her keep as it is her top up contribution to her costs at university such as going out socially or buying "unnecessary" clothes.
But she is aware she cannot spend all the money as she earns it!

littlegreenheart · 10/07/2022 13:43

If it were just a summer job and she'd be using whatever she saved when she goes away to uni THIS autumn I'd say no, but for a full year it seems like a good idea to have her pay something even if just to get in the habit. If rent feels "off" to you, especially if you own the house and the mortgage is paid off, you could ask for a regular set contribution to household expenses like food and utilities. And/or you could save her contributions (or the portion of it you don't actually need) so it's there if she needs it for something later on when she's moved out.

KyaClark · 10/07/2022 13:47

I wouldn't charge as such, but I'd maybe take a small amount and put away until she starts uni so she's got a bit saved.

Original poster
GNfan · 10/07/2022 14:21

Thanks everyone, and so sorry for posting twice. My phone's playing up, and I didn't think the first post had saved. You've all given me lots of food for thought, and I really appreciate your input.

OP posts:
PeppaPigIsBacon · 10/07/2022 14:26

If you don’t need it I wouldn’t charge her rent, but I would be expecting her to put a certain amount into savings towards her uni costs.

Also, the more she’s able to save now, the less she’ll need to ask you for while she’s actually at uni (particularly if she doesn’t qualify for full maintenance grants, as that’s based on your household earnings)

Whendovescry03 · 10/07/2022 14:32

I thought it was the norm for 18 year olds to pay rent once they're working. It's that or they move out and pay more rent to live elsewhere.

I think £50 a week sounds fair at that age. If you don't need it you could also put it away in a savings account for her to use while she's at uni.

Mally100 · 10/07/2022 15:13

I wouldn't charge her rent, but get her to save a portion towards the next phase when her gap year is over.

I8toys · 10/07/2022 15:51

I wouldn't charge for a gap year

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