To have just had enough of people?

[FreedomForties]

Had to change my MN name as outing.

Just this really. Early 40s here, and just had enough of a lot of people.
I'm very sociable, always have been, I'm someone who can get on with most people, very friendly, until you hurt me or mine in some way, then I'm quite ruthless and finished with that person.

However, I'd say that in the last year, I've decided to just not give a any more. Realised that a great deal of the relationships in my life are where I'm making most of the effort, and not getting the same back (disappointingly, some are family). So I've started to put the same effort in (i.e. not much) and it's rattled people. Wondering if something is wrong. No!

I now have a much smaller circle of amazingly close friends and family who value each other equally.

But I'm curious, is this an age thing/ Hormone thing? Or have I finally "snapped"? Or maybe I'm just a miserable cow now...
Just wondered if anyone had changed in a similar way, and if it was at a similar time of life!

I’m late 30s, feel pretty much the same! Have stopped trying to make an effort with some people - friends not responding to me or cancelling arrangements at the last minute was impacting my mental health. A couple of friends just contacted me if they wanted something, but wouldn’t make the effort to meet up socially. I’ve had enough now. I’ve found these relationships have really suffered since the start of the pandemic tbh and they haven’t recovered. I was saying to my DH only this morning that people are flakier than ever, cancelling last minute or just not turning up to things.

Yes it's really disappointing isn't it. Completely agree about flaky friends, and just not worth the effort on your part.
Maybe just our tolerance to crappy behaviour gets lower as we get older!

I'm 29 and got like this a few years ago 😂 so nothing to do with age!

Just haven't got time for flakey people. I love myself alot more than to put up with that crap! I don't tolerate any bad behaviour anymore. My life's alot calmer and alot less drama now 😊 my friends do say I'm brutal though as I'm the same as you, if someone hurts me, then I'm done with them.

I'm 50, in tech and I've had enough of bollocks people talk, the bullshit bingo. The slow simmering hostility of men in particular.

I have definitely taken a step back from flakey, unnecessary friendships or social situations I can no longer be arsed with.

I have a few close friends, a great partner and some close family. But yes I stay out of any family drama now.

I think it's not giving a shit about what people think of me anymore. I'm really loyal, trustworthy and kind, people who aren't just don't aren't worth my time.

@BlueIvy11 ah, clearly not an age thing, just a "had enough" thing!!! And agree, more about being secure about yourself that you're worth more than how some people treat you.

@jeaux90 yes I can relate. I'm in similar male dominated industry. Also agree that I think it is about not caring what others think of me, which (for me) has definitely come with age.

Glad that your responses have confirmed I'm just not a miserable cow though 😂

Yanbu. I’m late 30s and the same. I give people a couple of chances but if they repeatedly flake out on me, change arrangements at short notice or make no effort then I stop making the effort too.
I also don’t give time to people who cause drama unnecessarily. It’s very freeing.