14 yr old drinking

[clpsmum]

My mum was at a family bbq yesterday and my cousin and her children were there. My cousin was l allowing her fourteen year old son to drink. Apparently he drank cider, gin and rum and was drunk when my mum left around 7:30-8pm. I am absolutely shocked and disgusted by this.

Am I being a prude? When questioned my cousins reply was she'd rather him drink in her company than behind her back! I think she's encouraging it and dread to think what he will be getting up to behind her back.

I don't live close by but can't stop thinking about it. I have teenagers and would be furious if I found out they had been drinking and certainly wouldn't be encouraging it.

I feel like I should do something but not sure what.

I agree with the theory but think she’s applying it incorrectly. At 14 I would allow a couple of ciders/lagers but allowing spirits is f*cking ridiculous and you cousin is massively misunderstanding teenagers and boundaries 😳

Thats unacceptable to me; we let DD have a small glass on special occasions which I’m not overly keen on in all honesty as at 14 I just think it’s unnecessary

My 15yo DS was drunk with us at a family wedding this week. It's not ideal but I'm not losing sleep over it. He's extremely tall so I let the bar staff know his age so he couldn't order spirits but the beer bottles were in a giant ice bucket. Short of following him all night it would be difficult to police.
We bought him beers to take to house parties before - that seems to be normal amongst his friends

There's nothing much other than telling her how you feel you can do, it's her son, her responsibility. Don't get me wrong, 14 is very young, and it does sound like she was encouraging it, but what else do you expect you can do?????

I couldn't get het up about a couple of beers, especially if he already drinks with friends, but spirits would be a hard no from me.

I wouldn't allow my 14 year to drink at a family gathering, or indeed, any gathering. If he was 16, then yes. One or two ciders or beers I wouldn't have an issue with particularly.
But I certainly wouldn't want him drinking spirits. And as for a 14 year old, absolutely no way.

All that being said, as a cousin - and one who isn't local - it's none of your business. Don't get involved.

I don't know what I think I can do tbh. I expect I'll do nothing and keep my mouth shut as none of my business but I'm just shocked tbh. And shocked people think it's ok for 14/15 yr olds to be getting drunk! They've got the rest of their lives for that, they are children!