Any positive stories for boys in single sex schools

[Tobaiass22]

Morning all

I have been on a thread recently where there is so much discussion about SS (single sex) schools being great for girls as boys are so disruptive, 'take up all the space' (can just imagine if that was said about girls) and generally sexual predators with numerous studies linked, and mothers who themselves went SS speaking about the school being the best ever

The thread was VERY quiet from mothers of boys who seemed to just accept the above narrative that 'all girls are angelic, hard working and very nice to one another and that girls schools encourage girls to push beyond boundaries in sport STEM subjects blah blah blah

Yet boys are just badly behaved sexual pests threatening girls with rape etc

In this thread can we please hear the positives from parents of boys in a SS school, how has this been good for your son? Has he made strong friendships, able to focus on his work without having to impress girls, are subjects/ teaching styles at his school more suited to his needs?

I have 2 sons myself and would like to her more positives as one of them will be going to a SS school in September

I used to teach in an all boys school. It was nice. Compared to co-ed there was far less pressure to be 'going out' with someone, the younger boys stayed young for longer..still into Pokémon cards and stuff well into y8 and less interested in being cool. The older ones were very into sport, spent lunchtimes playing football or in cricket nets. There were girls in 6th form and it was always quite sweet in September seeing some of the boys not quite knowing what to do with themselves with girls in the class but they always got over it pretty fast and learned how to manage those friendships with a little more maturity than I'd it happened in y8/9. Academically they did well too but it was a selective school so that's not necessarily related to the single sex element.

Children do well in all manner of schools if they have the right backing from home and are willing to put some effort in. Really not worth all the angst.

DS is in reception at a boys school and I couldn’t be happier. I like that nothing is for girls/girly- they all embrace dance/drama/art. They’re allowed to be sensitive and show feelings because there’s no boys don’t cry crap being spouted. I love being free of the girls are angels, boys are badly behaved crap that gets thrown around.

Thank for the lovely feedback, my son is also into Pokémon at 11 and this is why I did not recognise the view of all boys as sexual pests thread. I am hoping that the new school will enable him keep his innocence for as long as possible

The school is religious and quite strict with a mixed 6th form

From what I have seen in open days, visits to the school, the boys seem like good lads, and polite

Like a previous poster, i teach in an all boys school and it's great! The boys are so funny and lovely and do well academically. I think there are pros and cons to single sex and Co Ed but I would definitely consider a single sex boy school for my son.

Totally agree, your son's school sounds lovely

Again lovely to read

I went to an all-girls school and my brother went to the all-boy counterpart. He seemed to do pretty well out of it - he's a bit of a wanker as it turns out, but he's my brother so I think that's part of that job description.
I was bitterly unhappy at the all-girl counterpart though.

My sons have gone to a single sex school and were focussed and were much more open to doing things that they likely wouldn’t do in a mixed school. My DS dressed up as a woman for the school play ( full Victorian dress and wig) and I don’t think he would have done that if he was at a mixed school as he wasn’t that confident and was quiet when at his mixed primary school. Even I was shocked as I wasn’t aware when I turned up to watch. My DD went to a mixed school and I wish I had sent her to single sex. It was a nightmare, lots of dynamics amongst the boys and girls, popular groups, non popular, girls not being nice to other girls name calling etc etc. They had to organise focussed groups for the girls and boys due to the dynamics being played out. Single sex girls schools can also be truly awful and one of my friends has moved her DD from a top performing girls school due to bullying from other girls as the school did very little.

This is so interesting..,,

I guess as parents it is a gamble and down to the particular child, but I am pleased to see a more balanced view

that is such a dreadful OP. Really really dismissive of the girls who are actually raped and sexually assaulted at school.

All boys and men aren’t rapists but any boy growing up hearing that attitude of disdain and contempt certainly will have a problematic view of women.

All the males in my family went/go to all boys schools, and it is the values of hard work, discernment with friendships, and self respect that make a difference. Similarly values of entitlement; contempt and victimhood/blame-shifting make a “negative”difference.

I would strongly urge you to reread your OP and ask yourself which values are being displayed here, and whether they are being inculcated among your young men who will be getting very strong “entitlement” values in society.

I was on the other thread. I have one of each and both went bSS from Y7. The boys school had some girls in the 6th form (about 1/4) and my DD decided to switch there for her 6th form years too.

As I said on the other thread, I think the best thing about SS (and probably better for boys) is that schools can teach in the best way for each sex. I saw this with DSs school - lessons were taught differently, with different expectations. That said, the boys weren't allowed to get away with bad behaviour or to disrupt lessons.

I also think, similar to

No personal experience but within the comprehensive system, I don’t think boys schools have the same good reputations that many girls schools have. So they don’t attract the same sort is aspirational parents thus completing the virtuous circle.

It’s possible that some subjects like music and drama or joining the choir might attract more boys whereas in a mixed school they would be dominated by the girls.

My limited experience of teaching boys was in FE college where the same course had 2 groups divided into almost all girls and almost all boys. The girls group was so sparky and lively, contributing great ideas in class discussions; the boys group was like drawing teeth! Anyway, staff more senior than I complained and after the first semester, we had 2 equally good groups.

Similar to girl's schools is removes the restrictions perceived in a mixed environment -all subjects are open to everyone. It DS selective academic school music (including singing), art, drama and humanities all flourished and were celebrated in equal measure to the sports achievements, and STEM success.

I agree with a previous poster that the boys seemed to stay younger for longer too.

I think it means that they can be the boy they want to be. No concept that the drama club/ choir etc. is just for girls because there would be no one in it if that was the case. Likewise there is not the expectation that you are a boy and therefore like to play football every break time, this might be partly because it is selective as well though. Also in yr 7, 8, 9 children tend to segregate into boys v girls so during those years there are 29 other boys in the class to draw friendships from rather than 14 other boys and 15 girls who won't talk to you.

Not sure whether I would make the same choice if there were two identical schools and one was mixed and the other single sex, but there never is that choice and in all other ways this school is ideal and ds doesn't miss the girls.

In the town where I live, all the grammar schools are single-sex, until six firm, so it’s common here.

My son goes to a single sex school and is absolutely thriving. It's given him confidence and loads of new interests and nice friends. The school is equally hot on creative subjects and the arts as they are with sports etc, which really helps.

It's a fab school, I've been very impressed so far and will happily send his younger brother there next year.

Both my children went to SS schools, my son and his friends are all lovely, polite sensible (most of the time) young adults.
They would call out anyone making inappropriate comments and I think that’s a mix of parenting and Schooling and not having a macho culture.
It is a selective school but encouraged lots of sports, hobbies and non academic interests so I think everyone can shine.
His 6th year was the first time girls joined and all the boys didn’t like the idea, but when it happened they liked having girls around especially good for boys with no sisters.

He's in Year 7 so the issue of girlfriends hasn't really come up but he did casually mention that one of his older friends there has a boyfriend.

The other thing I like about the school is that bullying is not tolerated. Their Offsted report mentioned this.

If my child went to a single sex school I would want to make sure they went to mix sex hobbies out of school. So many "First Dates" episodes where people from single sex schools literally cannot speak to someone of the opposite sex.

My DS has been at an all boys school since year 4 and has just finished year 11. He will be staying at the school for sixth form.
It has definitely been the best thing for him as there are a wide variety of different boys with different interests and he’s made some lovely friends.
The boys take part in choir, drama performances, book groups etc etc things that they might not have been willing to join in a mixed school for fear of being called ‘girly’.
The teachers have been great, presumably because they actually enjoy teaching boys. My experience of his mixed primary was that the girls were favoured and always chosen for reading parts, solos and it was honestly a breath of fresh air when he joined the all boys school.
Hope your DS thrives at his new school.

My son loved his SS primary. There was no "art is for girls" type issues and the boys could progress at their own pace. Which isn't how he put it after moving from coed, but was the gist.
Secondary he'll be going to coed though. I was unimpressed with the boys schools locally (not UK so all state options) and the undercurrent of violence my Dad and brother remember from school is better managed, but still there.

I know the thread you mean op, tbh I think it was more about the boys in co-ed schools (and some posters sweeping generalisations). Ppl were comparing the co-ed experience for girls with single sex girls schools, don't think there was discussion of ss boys schools (unless it's been mentioned since I last read tft)

Tbh I'd change the title and beginning of this post if you want a thread for positive experiences of ss boys schools, otherwise it'll probably just get derailed by ppl from the other thread and just end up a repeat of that

Our experience of sending our son to the local boy's comp. (Ostensibly non-selective but in reality boys - and their parents - were carefully interviewed.) We chose it due to its relaxed vibe and a recovering reputation after being a bit of a sink school.
It was a large school, over 1,100 boys who were well managed by the head and SLT through very good sporting programmes and excellent music and drama depts. Academically it was bouncing back and is now extremely well thought of.
DS did well there, his talents were encouraged early on and he played rugby for the school from year 8. Being a member of a tight-knit team was amazing for him, it gave him real confidence and a sense of belonging.

Academically and musically he did well too, and often joked that he was the only flautist to play for the first XV. He went on to do languages at a RG university.
In the sixth form the head boy came out as gay, very matter-of-factly. It was popular with girls, who could join in sixth form - I think they were treated very respectfully.

DS went to an all-boys school, a selective one. It suited him in terms of the teaching being geared to boys, and being around people who shared his interests – primarily sport and, when he was younger, gaming and computers.

He had a great friendship group, too, @Tobaiass22, which is another thing you asked about. He's in his mid-20s now so left school a while ago but they meet up all the time and regularly go on holiday together. He's currently working abroad and a couple of his friends check in on me to make sure I am OK 😀

The only real negative was his school friendship group doesn't include any women (they didn't have girls even in the Sixth Form), but as he has sisters they aren't a totally alien species to him!