AIBU dreading school report

[Panickypms]

For DD (Y2). Somehow I think it will be “below expectations” this year in some subjects and she’s slipping through the net. Teacher said no concerns during the parents evening, although needs some practice with mental maths. However I have a reason to believe they say nothing until the child is significantly behind. Never pushed DD hard enough at home (I’m just so exhausted after work) and there’s no compulsory homework beyond spellings and reading at her school. Been spoiled by DS (9) who always worked above expectations in every subject and I don’t remember ever doing any serious homework with him. My DD is a very happy and active girl, very crafty and has a good imagination, but she’s not self motivated to learn academic wise, she just loves to play so much and learning is a chore. Her reading took some time to develop, she’s on a White level in Big Cat series. Have no idea how bad or good it is, there’s next to none communication from the teacher about her. And maybe I had to be more “pushy” enquiring about her progress, but it’s too late now I guess.
I feel so panicky for the next week’s report because I just feel this year somehow I let her down. Would the teacher inform me if she doesn’t meet expectations if it was the case?
Don’t know what I want from this post. Does anyone relate at all?

Well, if that is who she is, then that is who she is.
I hate all the "expectations" language. Children come in all shapes and sizes and all abilities. They also develop at different ages. One of my dc hated putting pen to paper until they were about 9 or 10, and never did it for fun after that, but ended up doing all humanities / essay subjects at A-level (incl English Literature) and went on to study a humanities / essay subject for a degree. You would never have predicted that at 6 or 7 yrs old.

My DD is a very happy and active girl, very crafty and has a good imagination

How lovely it this ^ ?
Most parents would think they had done a pretty good job if they bought up an adult who was happy and active.

All that aside though, end of year reports should not mention anything you don't already know. If the teacher said she is doing fine, at Parents Evening, then I would expect that to be what the report says.

She is learning. Playing is learning. She's happy and her teachers are happy, why are you inventing problems to get upset over?

Really? She's y2, she's happy and active, there's nothing to worry about, if the teacher had concerns they'd have said at parents night, but even if she is behind in some subjects, so what, it really really does not matter, she'll get there in her own time

From what you’ve said there’s no reason to think she has fallen behind. Are you sure you’re not worrying about nothing based on your own feelings about not having pushed her harder?

She sounds absolutely lovely. I also think spelling and reading is plenty for Y2.

She's y2. There is no way she's so far behind where she should be that you can't support her. Get the report, make a plan and just deal with it. 5 mins of maths work after school, maths posters up around the house etc.

My Yr 1 child is below expectations in reading/writing. My Year 3 child is below expectations in spelling & writing. Both meeting expectations in other areas, neither is exceeding in a single area.

IMO, that's for the school to deal with. I make sure they have a lovely, safe, happy home life, filled with love and wonderful memories. I'm a single parent working full time, I can't juggle every ball, some are going to get dropped. I read with my kids and do the bare minimum homework, anything above that the school will have to work with them on. Our spare time together will not be forced tutoring.

In the teachers comment bit of the report, it was glowing. Lots of "X is a polite thoughtful child/exceptionally kind to others" type comments. So as far as I care, I'm doing a pretty good job raising nice decent kids. Their spelling & writing will concern me zero.

As it's year 2 and the end of a key stage the school have to tell you her data and whether she's at the expected standard or not. This should reflect what they said at parents eve or if it doesn't they should have had a later conversation with you. There should be no major surprises in a school report.

She's year 2!!!

Lighten up woman.

My child had below expectations in some subjects. They were exactly the ones I expected. He has SEN and everyone is really happy with his progress.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to you in a report, I was aware of how he was doing. So if school have said all was fine before now then she should be attaining the expected level.

I'm a teacher and we are always told by SLT that nothing on the report should be a surprise so if a child is working below, this should have already been communicated to the parent.

Ds was below average in Maths yet outstanding in English, Science, History, Geography & everything else, he has an enquiring mind & is well read, he was reading books about the annexation of the Crimea age 9, could understand & explain things I didn't understand age 50. His handwriting is worse than a 5 year old because he has hypotonia & dyspraxia, he scraped a grade 4 in his Maths GCSE, ditched his A levels because he was very poorly with ME/CFS, yet he is now working as a Social Media Manager for the local Green Party & may be soon moving to be a campaign manager for a prospective MP. Don't worry kids can't be good at everything, as long as they get the minimum grade in essential subjects like Maths & English it won't hold them back.

What is "below expectations" in England? Anything less than 100?

Children are like popping corn. Same oil, heat, salt - but kernels will "pop" at different times.

If you're really worried after getting report, I'd recommend hiring a tutor for an hour a week. I empathise with how difficult it is to support their education when working full time with all the standard cooking and household jobs. You'll also find your child reacts differently to the tutor than to you.... but I suspect her report will be good and you won't need to!

Collins white book band

From their website

White band books have more complex sentences and figurative language, ideal for pupils who are becoming fluent readers. The White Band Set is aimed at Key Stage 1 pupils in Year 2 and contains the following 35 books
^^
She's doing great and so are you! Forcing her into doing work will make her hate her entire time at school, I know, I was forced into it and now at a much older age have only just started enjoying learning again.
^^
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Lighten up, leave it for the school to deal with.

@Caiti19 I know what you mean! Expectations are pushed on younger and younger children like it’s some kind of a race. Some children just need longer to catch up but otherwise they are fine. It’s the system, not the children. It’s too much too young. I know, some children are gifted and can’t thrive without harder tasks etc but most of the children aren’t! DS is very academic and still sometimes I think it’s heartbreaking how much it is about the high targets these days. DD loves to play, she can spend hours playing with as much as a couple of sticks, leaves and pebbles. I wish she could play longer, even though I do think education opens doors and value it highly, just very tired of how stressful things are at the moment. Got triggered by this year’s SATs. Have reasons to think she’s done quite bad in maths.

@Plinkyplankyplonk
Teachers are so overstretched these days. It’s not their fault that some children are not getting attention, it’s just impossible. I think parental help is essential, and I always promise myself that I’ll do more etc. But when the day is over and we’re all tired, all I want to do is to rest and talk to them:( I guess I’ have to find time next year. Mother’s guilt is a real thing!

@MardyBumm
DD apparently worked with a TA who supported a group of children who are slightly behind in reading and could benefit from additional support before they can “graduate” from this daily reading support. Maybe it’s a normal thing, but I knew nothing about it and it only came to light several months after. She doesn’t need any additional support now, but I wish I knew? I know her reading ability suddenly improved in the middle of the year and she started moving levels quickly so I believe they assessed the situation right, but I wish I knew better what’s happening behind the walls, so to speak.

@Birkenshock
I know I should be kinder to myself, and I definitely dropped quite a few balls this year lol
DH is very supportive but he’s away half of the time in a very demanding job and homework is definitely not his forte :)
Educational system is suffering, a lot of the children with SEN don’t get the support they desperately need, so I’m not too positive that the school with serve everyone. That’s why I feel so guilty not having the energy to top up