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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Struggling with 5 year old

6 replies

FeelingConcerned · 08/07/2022 21:20

Had to name change.

My daughter is 5 and my son is 6 months. She absolutely dotes on him and is lovely with him, we've never had any issues there. But the last few weeks she's suddenly become so difficult. Very moany, whingy, whiney, saying no a lot. Not excited by anything much and just wants so much attention that myself and my husband cannot give. She gets loads of attention or so I thought so I'm not sure where this is coming from. The baby waits for me more than she does if you see what I mean I.e he might start crying for a bottle but I'll still quickly finish making her dinner before I go to him (try not to let that happen much but its just an example)

I just feel like I'm completely failing her ( I keep saying I because my husband works long hours so it's mainly the 3 of us here a lot of the time whilst I'm on mat leave - when he is here he's bloody brilliant with both children and very supportive) and can't get through to her.

Bedtimes have become a battle,- lots and lots of attention seeking behaviour to stay up later. Then tired the next day particularly after school which makes everything difficult. Everything I suggest is replied with No. Even fun stuff sometimes. Then when she keeps pushing I keep taking something from her like tv time or going to the park that day etc and feel rotten for that and not even sure it's helping.

When we calmly speak to her about why she keeps kicking off (the slightest little thing like asking her to brush her teeth can end up being a full on tantrum like a toddler) she can't explain why. She is extremely well behaved at school - and very intelligent. I'm wondering what I can do to get her back to being my best little mate and my sidekick and having fun again. Sorry for the ramble.

OP posts:
FeelingConcerned · 08/07/2022 23:30

Bump

OP posts:
northernlola · 08/07/2022 23:32

Do you spend 1-1 time with her? Totally get that it's difficult to achieve with a baby, by the way

Louie26 · 08/07/2022 23:42

Talk to her teacher and explain, while children play they will often show what's going on and talk she may say something to them she won't say to you. Also as someone else has said some 1-2-1 time maybe needed some special time just for mummy and me

WafflesOrIceCream · 08/07/2022 23:58

I agree with the others OP...some 1-2-1 time is needed where your 5 year old can have you all to herself.Maybe do the things she likes doing or take her out.

Marvellousmadness · 09/07/2022 00:04

Never let the baby wait with food .
Get some different strategies.. with such a big gap in age your kids will basically grow up as only kids. So treat them both seperate. Extra one on one time with your dd will be better. And more talking about her feelings and asking her what she feels
She is old enough to put that into words.

RedHelenB · 09/07/2022 06:50

That's not that big a gap. Mine are still close with that gap and certainly didn't exhibit that jealous behaviour. Might he time to start nipping the whines in the bud, be a bit stricter.

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