Is this fair if I'm sick?

[trexed]

Been unwell for a week.

DP has his children around 50/50. Sometimes he works weekend shifts and I'm happy to have them along with my DC.

Despite still being ill, this week he's taken it as a given that I'm having them as well at the weekend while he's at work.

AIBU to think it shouldn't be down to me if I'm ill? I have stepped in to help if their mum is sick before. DP says it'll cause too much confrontation to ask.

I think if it's been what you usually do you needed to make clear you weren't doing it this weekend. If you've been unwell a week I'm surprised he hasn't asked you though.

DP says it'll cause too much confrontation to ask. and tough. It's not your job to prevent confrontation.

That's totally unfair to expect you to care for his kids. It's his job to sort alternative arrangements. It sounds like he just wants an easy life so you need to put your foot down! Otherwise he will just do the easiest thing - for him!

How old are all the kids?

Are you going to be looking after your own kids this weekend despite being ill? Or do you have alternative childcare for them?

If you’re still looking after your own kids I’d expect you to look after step-kids too, as they are your family. But if you have alternative childcare for your kids it’s only fair there’s an alternative for his kids if you’re too ill.

If you are too I'll to look after your own children does your dp look after them or would you make some other arrangement for them?

Depends on the illness really and if you are well enough to care for your own children.

I’d expect him to make alternative arrangements.

it doesn’t need to be for the whole weekend but he should at least be trying not just shrugging his shoulders. Most parents who have their children 50-50 have people who they exchange favours with or who they pay for childcare. Or else they take leave. Why doesn’t he??

Id be reviewing the situation moving forward. They are his kids and his responsibility. If he wants them 50-50 then he needs to do 50-50 parenting not just use you.

That’s part of OP’s point isn’t it? DP should be looking after all DC, not expecting OP to look after any children while she’s poorly

Oh I think there's a massive difference between looking after your own kids when I'll and having extras to care for that aren't even yours.

OP, tell him no thank you. He will have to sort out other childcare for his children this time round. What HE does on HIS contact time with HIS children is HIS problem. He's lucky you're regularly stepping in as it is.

*ill, not I'll

So dp takes time off work to look after them

He’s taking the piss by working weekends when he has his kids and expecting you to have them for him. How often does that happen?

Given how entitled he is I think I’d have made it clear I wasn’t up for having them this weekend rather than assuming he’d be sensible.

Your basic problem is he cares more about his ex’s feelings than yours and his freedom to work weekends more than seeing his kids. I wouldn’t be happy about either.