One last round of IVF.

[Hop27]

DH and I have been through 4 rounds of IVF, we decided enough was enough after I tried to kill myself. 2 years have passed and we collectively decided to go 'one last time' both completely in agreement, or so I thought. I have horrific endo so all this time have tried to manage the pain through opiates whilst working lots to pay for the ivf (it's been hell) I had a whole raft of test done in may in prep for our final round, we are now waiting on DH. I am literally in limbo, can't explore hormone therapy for pain etc Apparently he's been too busy or too sick to have his tests done.
AIBU to think if he wanted this he'd sort his shit out?

I'm so sorry. Infertility and IVF is a horrendous journey to walk through. Do your clinic have a counsellor attached to them? I would really recommend some joint sessions to look at the issue together. It isn't fair that you're in pain whilst he takes his time getting stuff sorted but he may have reasons too that aren't clear to you right now. Sending you lots of support.

I just wish he'd talk to me

That is crap. My dh was slow to get his sperm tests etc done. If it had been him who actually had to do the the ivf we'd be on round 2 ish instead of having just done round 6. My friend's husband has also taken months to get his sperm sample sorted. Is he depressed? In my house I would have lost my shit by now and then there would have been a crisis 'I'll ring and book it tomorrow' response. I hope you can find a way through this together.

He promised me he'd do it, two days later - nothing.

Could it be he is terrified of what might happen if it doesn’t work again? You said you tried to kill yourself, could it be that he is worried something similar might happen? Did he give you a lot of support last time when it failed? It might be he doesn’t feel able to do that again and so is using delaying tactics- purposely or subconsciously!

It is such a hard time going through ivf and can put such a strain on relationships, I really really hope this time works for you.

You’re right. He doesn’t want this. He clearly wants to have a living wife rather than a dead wife and no baby. Sorry to sound harsh.