Dyslexia

[Hurstlandshome]

My daughter has dyslexia. She is a couple of years behind, can read and write, but simply cannot process phonics. I'm unsure how this will translate to exam results in the future.

AIBU to feel annoyed that if she were a boy her job prospects would still be pretty good; tradesmen can earn a fortune, but because she's female her options are limited?

Can anyone give me a steer on possible job routes? And before anyone says 'she can still be an electrician/plumber/builder' - I feel it's unlikely she'll go down this route.

Dyslexic/dyscalculic here. I went to school on a music scholarship, I then won scholarships for my entire university education in two countries, I have a masters degree with honours, worked with famous museums and won multiple awards for my work.

Don’t discount your daughters future, it will set her expectations low. My mother told me I could be anything I wanted and I have had a fulfilling and interesting career.

My advice, be her advocate, and if you can afford it get private tutors with teachers who understand learning disabilities. Always make sure she feels able to voice when she doesn’t understand something.

@20thCenturyWolf

What if the Ed psych won't use the word "dyslexia*" and bristles when you use it

I'm dyslexic I can't read and write well! my biggest issue is mumsnet spelling and grammar police. Most people understand me but some mumsnetters feel the need to check what I mean or don't understand. They are the stupid people imo.
When I was first diagnosed my mum said she sat in the car and cried thinking what could I do. I went to uni got a degree in advertising. I've been headhunted and have been the youngest senior in my position ( they needed to change the insurance to allow me to do this). I'm happily ( most of the time) married. When I had my daughter I changed my role again and within a year was at the highest pay grade. I still struggle to spell and I don't know my times tables. But I'm doing great. I manage my household well including budgeting. Trust me she'll be fine!!!!

This. You're already under selling your daughter. My son is dyslexic. He really struggled to read and write until he went to secondary school and got properly diagnosed and the attendant support.

He is currently awaiting his A level results with predicted grades of As and A* with a view to doing medicine. He has 25% extra time in exams, use of a laptop and was offered a scribe but declined. He came on in leaps and bounds once support was put in place and this is what you need to be looking not future careers for a 9 year old.

She will learn to read and write. My mum practically wrote me off at 8/9, I'm dyslexic and a clinical nurse specialist.

Has anyone mentioned Toe by Toe? This is great for helping dyslexic children read.

I'm dyslexic and in a senior position in financial services.

Whether or not your daughter is academic, why do you think she can't do a trade?

Please don't limit her.

My eldest had severe dyslexia at your daughters age I feared the same as yourself. Now by being shrewd with subject choices she is excelling academically. She is doing A level equivalents next summer and based on past results will do well.

@Unbored thats amazing 😊. May i ask how you got your local authority to pay for that. There aren't any local specialist dyslexia schools near me so it probably would never work but how do you get the funding. Surely most children with dyslexia don't get this from the la?

If it helps, the dyslexic young adults that I know are training to be doctors (two of them), a nursery nurse, a TA and a just graduated engineer.
When DD was at secondary school, I know that her Head of Year - a PE teacher - was dyslexic.
I think your DD should aim for whatever she wants to do.

My son is dyslexic but wasn't diagnosed until 6th form. He got 9 x A and 2 x A at gcse and 3 x A at A level. He is also getting high grades at uni.

He now has 25% extra time in exams and has some other adjustments. There is no reason why dyslexia itself would hold her back now she has a diagnosis. As she has the diagnosis she can get the adjustments she needs.

this is 9 x Astar and 2 x A and 3 x A star at A level. It is the MN format that threw this out

My son is dyslexic. Not diagnosed till 15.

Was taught in a second language. Took ages to learn to read. Like one of the slowest in the class. Always up and down in school.

Struggled all through. Then diagnosed and boom things took off. Knowing the problem really helped him. He started having extra time in exams

3 A Alevels. Degree in Economics. Professional Qualifications in Banking. Reads all the time.

Just telling you this because there's really no limit to what your daughter can do.

He would have been useless as a Trade. Very impractical.

My DS was helped at school took his English GCSE four times his teacher wouldn't give up. He did a Bsc shorter essays he said. Is a very successful architect with his own company. Computers are a game changer these days.

Stop worrying contact the dyslexia society and fight her corner in school. There's help out there

Exactly this. I'm confused why you think women can't be tradespeople? Push her into an apprenticeship where she learns a trade rather than university. Also jobs like graphic design, book designer. I also know an architect with dyslexia.

You fight for it. Usually takes three years. Friends son LA provided 20k a year parents 6k.

Einstein was dyslexic 👍

I was coming on to mention this. Its tedious but works. It would be ideal to start it for Summer holidays as dd not so tired as after school. She will make good progress if you both commit to no more than 10 mins a day.
Also l encourage parents to download the Dolch List of common words..put them on flashcards and teach them to her a few at a time with constant revision. Children with dyslexia need a lot of revision until something lodges in their long term memory so don't get frustrated if she forgets just do it again and again until she gets it. Lots of encouragement as it is a battle for them.
My ds is dyslexic and works in marketing earning more than me as a very experienced Primary Teacher. He is very creative and great with people. His whole office has lots of people with dyslexia. I have past pupils working in all sorts of areas so there is no limit as their natural intelligence and other gifting stands to them once they grasp the reading.

@Sandcastles24 my DS has an EHCP. We had private assessments, a solicitor and submitted an appeal as the LA insisted mainstream could met needs.

It was an expensive fight and took about 18 months (delays due to covid). The school is about 40 miles away and in a neighbouring LA - children travel from about 6 different LAs as there are very few schools like it. It’s worth it as at mainstream the SENCO said that closing the gap was a myth and pretty much write DS off, DS is absolutely flying now!

There is a good book called 'The Dyslexic Advantage' that is worth reading. Dyslexic brains work differently and are very creative. My daughter is severely dyslexic but I can see her reading and phonics recognition has improved since age 9 (she is now 14). Definitely don't write your daughter off, there will be loads of stuff she can do really well. It's just unfortunate that the education system values academic ability over everything else. That's a fault of the system, not dyslexic people.

I'm dyslexic and at that age I was really struggling. Things slowly clicked as I got older and I'm now able to read a write (with the odd error). I'm university educated and have a career. My cousin is also dyslexic and he went down the science route and is very successful in his field. Tutoring helped my friends child so perhaps that's something you could look into.

Most of my family are dyslexic and we all hold degrees and good careers. Primary school is the worst bit of the education system for dyslexia we all felt, spelling tests and times tables were a nightmare. Access to IT made everything after that very accessible.

@Johnnypiratesfriend

Maybe we should lobby mnhq because I've never been diagnosed but my spelling is appalling and my phone doesn't help me.

I frequently get the most churlish and rude comment's about my spelling!!

I have two DC and this may out me, one is a very high achiever , solid accadmically.

It's my younger DC who had the exciting problem solving brain!!
She's the one who slices through problems, knows how to work hard...

@Johnnypiratesfriend

DH has a degree in maths which is brilliant when it comes to DC maths hw however, it is 8 who came up with the family Budget and it is I who knows about investing.