AIBU about MIL not saying happy birthday

[WishingAndHoping11]

It's my daughter's first birthday today and so far my MIL hasn't said happy birthday in any sort of message. We weren't due to be seeing my inlaws today but I thought they might phone or message. My PIL said happy birthday on my Facebook post but not MIL. I know this all sounds silly but I just feel like it's a bit unfriendly and tbh it's annoyed me. MIL is always on Facebook. She loves posting stuff about what she's doing and photos of herself and PIL. I've seen her commenting on other people's posts today but not on her DIL's post about her own granddaughter. My post was quite heartfelt as I'd had a really worrying, tough pregnancy with dd and her arrival a year ago was a real blessing. So maybe that's made me a little more sensitive.

AIBU or would a message on Facebook, WhatsApp, etc or just a quick phone have been expected on a birthday from grandparents? Yes a one year won't have a clue but just to show a little bit of interest would be nice.

Or its FB algorithms and she hasn't seen your post? If you only post rarely and you don't interact with her on FB (liking her posts), she may literally not have seen your post. But yeah if you never like her stuff this maybe a return snub which us a snub to you for that rather than DD birthday. As you say you're seeing them weekend, I'd give benefit of doubt.

My family sent 0 when I had my first LO... they TRFd me some money but no card or gift. I thought this quite cold but my family are a bit cold so I didn't mention. A few weeks later transpires my my has sent stuff to an old address. My point being they may have sent something got lost in post or something happened.

I'm petty so I'd just post like, thanks for all the cards, gifts and messages everyone, very appreciated and hope that she gets the dig 😆

I agree with others if PIL have posted surely that’s on behalf of MIL and FIL unless they aren’t together but then I can’t understand why you would post PIL then? No need for them to message separately? My mum messaged me on my birthday and it was from both my parents… I didn’t expect separate message from my dad!

YABU. Maybe stop giving Facebook such a prominent place in your life. Anyway, you said PIL had posted - is your MIL not part of that? Even if not, what on earth does it matter - your DD is not going to be aware.

"I don't put much on Facebook these days and when I do, it's usually something sincere and meaningful. I'm also very down to earth with what I say. MIL isn't like that, it's very much all for show."

I was with you a bit until that comment. Maybe your MIL thought your birthday post to a one year old was all for show. I think you're focusing a bit too much on the Facebook aspect of it.

Storm in a teacup. You don't like her posts and can't be bothered to comment on them but you expect her to pay homage to your one-year old?

What has your DP/DH said about it?

If you don't like her posts then she probably hasn't seen yours.

Newsfeed algorithms -- they're a real thing.

We weren't due to be seeing my inlaws today but I thought they might phone or message

Was this your idea or theirs? Could MIL be unhappy about it?

You cringe at her braggy posts, I tend to cringe at overly emotional posts. Maybe your MIL is like me and avoiding that.

And going back over posts to check what she's liked? Put the internet down.

I think you're investing way too much time and meaning into interactions on Facebook. Just forget about that and concentrate on the relationship in the real world.

Yeah.... this has got my confused as well.

You are utterly overinvested in Facebook, but just to repeat the algorithms are very very real and it's incredibly likely that she hasn't seen your post as it hasn't appeared in her feed.