To ask how much "shit" do you put up with in daily life?

[Crocsandshocks]

I have realised that my job, although decent pay, means I have to deal with other people's (metaphorical) shit on a daily basis. I won't give details or I may out myself, but basically my colleagues often moan and whine as I'm in a director type role (though probably get paid less than some of them).

Some of it may be the mysogonistic aspect as my male colleagues do not get the same issues, and do not generally get challenged as much as I do.

I'm mid 40s now and rather exhausted. I have few shits left to give. Wondering whether it is normal to put up with other people's shit on a daily basis or whether I should get a new job with less pay but also less politics.

How much shit do you put up with on a weekly or daily basis?

Absolutely not unreasonable but a little naive to think you have to go down in pay or position to have less shit. Is it possible to look to move into something that doesn’t have man management/direct reports (or significantly fewer). Either through heading a small specialist team, going into consulting or finding a more mobile position (I’ve had senior manager/directors who cover several sites and manage to give the appearance of being too damn busy for any unnecessary shit).

Or, change your approach in your current job - start deflecting to other directors - if you’re listening to shit they should be taking, start setting boundaries. “Can I stop you there, this is something you should be taking to [insert man boss here]”

Obviously if you want a reason to step down then you’ve quoted a reasonable one, but I would say there are probably people earning less than you taking more shit and people earning more and taking less 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks. Good point. Perhaps I should toughen up and change my approach. I am getting less patient at masking my feelings when people selfindulgently rant. Perhaps it's a perimenopause thing.

To an extent we teach people how to treat us. I think you could use this as a learning opportunity to act up a bit - what would a super senior, excellent coach and people manager do in response to getting whinged at? Find some way to subtly structure the conversation so it ends up with the person taking a bit more responsibility for themselves probably. And make sure the conversations are structured so you end up not losing all your day to their shit. Basically- if it's a systemic problem enlist their help and energy to fix the system. If it's a them problem offer them coaching in return something else you want. But you have to be a secret ninja about it. The Internet has many resources.

If your response is you just want them to go away and leave you alone - rather than putting in effort to change your response to them - then effectively you're asking them to change, when you're not prepared to change...

ideal outcome is to turn their whinging into more money/promotion for you...

ideal outcome is to turn their whinging into more money/promotion for you...

And make sure the conversations are structured so you end up not losing all your day to their shit. Basically- if it's a systemic problem enlist their help and energy to fix the system. If it's a them problem offer them coaching in return something else you want. But you have to be a secret ninja about it. The Internet has many resources.

This is great advice thank you.

Another day, more shit to deal with. People not taking responsibility for their own work. TFiF

Zilch.

Happy to help colleagues on a reciprocal basis alongside my own job but if anyone is looking to me to train them or do their work when I’m not employed to do that I decline.

Sounds fair 👍

my job...... means I have to deal with other people's (metaphorical) shit on a daily basis.

Don't most jobs ?

Don't most jobs ?

I guess that's what I am asking. I've only ever worked in this area so I don't know.

I put up with 357 shit on average but on a good week it can be as low as 235. As you can see from the average, that means some weeks are well above 400.