To not let DD(6) eat sweets every day

[chupachupmum]

How often does your child eat sweets? DD(6) is complaining that her BFF gets sweets every day and I only let her have them once a week as a treat straight after meal a meal (teeth!) or at a party/special occasion it would be fine but not regularly in the house for no reason?
AIBU?

Of course YANBU. No child needs sweets daily. We have them at weekends only and it’s only a small bag of haribo or similar.

I think it depends on what else she has also. One tiny treat a week is not much at all. Does she also have cake, ice cream, chocolate, biscuits etc.? In moderation of course. No child needs sweets every day.

My ds has something sweet every day. It's not a treat for him and some days he even forgets to ask for one. He also doesn't go crazy at parties or other times.

DD often has a little cake each day or similar but actual sweets are only at weekend

sweets, like Smarties etc -once a week is fine. Definitely not every day.
Dessert-type thing at home, such as a piece of cake or biscuit, much more often.

I think deprivation in childhood can lead to excess in adulthood - everything in moderation and all that. If your child is asking for more theyre probably not satisfied enough and I figure kids run it off anyway. YANBU to do what’s right for you and look after your child’s health.

Be careful about the comparison game though - it isn’t any good for your mind, and who knows what you’re comparing to? After my DH died, when my son was just 3, I did what I could to cope and that meant I didn’t watch what my son ate and treated him too much (couldn’t deal with keeping boundaries and toddler tantrums alongside the stress of grief). So from the outside, to other parents at nursery/school who didn’t know my situation, I imagine I looked like an awful parent for a couple of years. You just never know what else is going on in peoples lives, so don’t compare and do what’s right for you and your child.

My children don’t have sweets daily but have a little treat everyday, sometimes sweets but also could be, yoghurt, dried fruit, cake, ice pop, ice creams…. Usually after our evening meal.

My DCs - late teens, early twenties - used to complain that their friends got loads of sweets and they didn't. It was embarrassing, unfair etc. They had something sweet most days after tea so but seldom got fizzy drinks or cheap sweets (and never from us).

A couple of weeks ago while watching a programme about how much sugar children should eat, my DS said, 'you got it about right didn't you mum'. It was a rare moment of vindication..

So I'd say YANBU. My DCs have no fillings and don't crave sugar (unlike me, who was give money each day as a child to spend in the sweet shop).

Why would you even need to ask this question. It's only going to become a thread of competitive lack of sweet consumption.

Such a personal decision. It depends if you mean sweets as in, things like haribo, jelly sweets etc as opposed to ‘something sweet’. IMO no one needs to eat sweets every day, but for healthy, average weight children, who eat a good diet, something sweet every day isn’t a huge problem. It’s not necessary, of course, but lots of kids by that age are influenced by what their friends have.

My two are healthy weights and very active, recently though I decided I didn’t want stuff like Kit Kats, biscuit bars, milk chocolate in my house as I’m pregnant again and trying to be really healthy. So we swapped to Nairns biscuits which are a lot lower sugar and dark chocolate (70%) instead and my 9 year old has had something like that in his lunchbox or for pudding after dinner instead. No complaints so far.

I also do think that banning all sweet stuff causes an issue (or can do). But no, YANBU for not giving her sweets every day!

This is what I meant. It's what I do as well.

A biscuit, small piece of cake, a square of chocolate.... after dinner if they eat well

I would say my boys do more often than not and they have pudding everyday. As a child I had sweets only one day a week and rarely had pudding and if we did it would be something like a yoghurt or soya dessert. This was mainly because we had no money. As soon as I had pocket money that's all I spent my money on and I remember buying so many sweets everyday at sixth form that I lost half a stone when I left and I didn't have sweets everyday! I feel like being denied sweets really made me eat really unhealthily as a teen. I have found by letting my boys have sweet things and making them more of a normal less forbidden thing that they seem to know when they're full and will quite often choose not to have something or will save something for later.

Haha if I believed my kids I would think all of year two have unlimited screen time and McDonald’s every night. Even if it were true it still wouldn’t change my parenting as I do what’s best for us and you should too. Never mind what your child reports about other children.

My kids had sweets or chocolate most days at that age. Their diet was otherwise good. It’s not unreasonable not to give them as often though, its personal choice, just do what you want.

I don't think I've ever bought actual sweets for my children, they come via parties/Halloween/Christmas and get eaten over a few days then that's it until next time.

They have something treaty a few times a week, biscuit, homemade cake, ice lolly, occasional Freddo. I don't know any 6 year old that has sweets every day, I sense a bending of the truth there!

We do this too. Often DS will choose the yogurt/fruit over chocolate or sweets anyway because he prefers them 🤷🏼‍♀️

By sweets I mean things like haribo and those chewy sticky maom things and would also class things like smarties/m&m as they are teeth rotters as well

My DD does gets something sweet every day with her evening meal like ice lolly/cake/freddo so I don't think she is deprived sugar wise

Why are you treating haribo different to cake or chocolate though?

Because of her teeth? chocolate doesn't stick to your teeth like a maom does! And doesn't take as long to eat as a chupa chup

You seem very obsessed with her teeth. Make sure she’s brushing well twice a day and she’ll be fine.