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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS (5) recovered from covid - WIBU to send him to school tomorrow?

51 replies

AnotherEmma · 07/07/2022 16:33

DS is 5, symptoms started on Monday evening, we tested him on Tuesday morning and the test was positive. He was ill (fever and other symptoms) for about 36h. Was OK on Wednesday, raised temperature but no longer tired or complaining of any pain. Today (Thursday) is back to his usual self - that is to say, very loud and energetic.

The official guidelines say that children should self-isolate for 3 days after a positive covid test result. So following those I should keep him off school tomorrow. However, symptoms started on Monday and if we'd tested on Monday evening it would have been positive.

WIBU to test him in the morning (LFT) and send him to school if it's negative?!

For context - DD (toddler) and I also have covid and I could really do with sending him to school (DH would take him). I also think he would have a better day at school than stuck at home with us, almost literally bouncing off the walls.

YABU - don't send him to school tomorrow
YANBU - send him to school

OP posts:
Bungg1e · 07/07/2022 19:41

coconutpie

The rules have changed.

Echobelly · 07/07/2022 19:42

Up to you, but to my mind honestly it's one more day off school that means he is much less likely to infect anyone when he does go back.

Original poster
AnotherEmma · 07/07/2022 19:46

coconutpie · 07/07/2022 19:33

YABVU. No wonder it's spreading like wildfire if people are sending DC into school after 3 days. And you cannot justify sending him back because he's "out of routine". Plenty of DC have had to stay out of school for 10-14 days after getting a positive test. It is well known that it is 7 days minimum and for the next 3 days, to wear a well fitted mask.

You clearly haven't the read the latest guidelines. Here are the relevant sections:

When children and young people with symptoms should stay at home and when they can return to education
Children and young people with mild symptoms such as a runny nose, sore throat, or slight cough, who are otherwise well, can continue to attend their education setting.
Children and young people who are unwell and have a high temperature should stay at home and avoid contact with other people, where they can. They can go back to school, college or childcare, and resume normal activities when they no longer have a high temperature and they are well enough to attend.

From www.gov.uk/guidance/people-with-symptoms-of-a-respiratory-infection-including-covid-19#children-and-young-people-aged-18-years-and-under-who-have-symptoms-of-a-respiratory-infection-including-covid-19

Children and young people aged 18 years and under who have a positive test result
It is not recommended that children and young people are tested for COVID-19 unless directed to by a health professional.
If a child or young person has a positive COVID-19 test result they should try to stay at home and avoid contact with other people for 3 days after the day they took the test, if they can. After 3 days, if they feel well and do not have a high temperature, the risk of passing the infection on to others is much lower. This is because children and young people tend to be infectious to other people for less time than adults.

From www.gov.uk/guidance/people-with-symptoms-of-a-respiratory-infection-including-covid-19#Children

OP posts:
MakeWayMoana · 07/07/2022 19:53

@orkneyisthebest I’m curious why you bothered testing if you weren’t going to stay in? I’m genuinely curious, not bitchy curious 😂

I have the same mentality, that we should treat it like any other illness and if you’re well in yourself get on with it. But I haven’t tested myself or any of my kids since January.

fwiw op, if he’s been running around the garden today and seemed fine, I would send him in tomorrow.

ImpossibleGirl · 07/07/2022 20:01

@orkneyisthebest
I would send him in. All 5 of us tested positive on monday but since no one has been unwell apart from slight cold symptoms. We just got on with it. Dh still went to work. Ive taken the kids out etc Going to visit family tomorrow for the weekend and will travel by train. I treat it as any other illness tbh

And this is the reason we are now ill. So a rather fucked off CHEERS to you and the selfish arses like you who can't just stay the hell home. Let me guess - you haven't bothered with masks either, have you?

I contracted it at work - we've been purposefully keeping ourselves away from crowds etc and it's the only place I haven't been wearing a mask as we're all meant to test negative before coming in and they expect you to WFH (or be off on paid sick) if you're positive - they even supply the free tests to do so.

We have family from abroad over at the moment. They were meant to stay with us as we have the most space to host them, but I tested positive 3 days before they arrived and the rest of my household were positive 2 days later.

We haven't seen them in 2+ years, we won't have a chance for another 18 months at least. MiL wanted all of the DC, DGC and extended family together for her special birthday - we can't go as she's CEV and we'd rather not kill her or her frail partner.

They'll be travelling on to see the other grandparents in a third country mid-next week, again some who are CEV, so they don't want to risk catching it either.

Just stay the fuck home

Whitewolf2 · 07/07/2022 20:17

If it’s negative then yes, he’s not infectious, send him in if he seems like his normal self.

FunDragon · 07/07/2022 20:20

So your plan is to send him in if he tests negative but keep him at home if he tests positive? That seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Original poster
AnotherEmma · 07/07/2022 20:22

FunDragon · 07/07/2022 20:20

So your plan is to send him in if he tests negative but keep him at home if he tests positive? That seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Yes.

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright1 · 07/07/2022 20:25

No for Friday... i would keep.him.off...

floweringpoppies · 07/07/2022 20:53

@coconutpie where do you live, if in England have you been under a rock and not seen the change in guidelines?

Thatusername · 07/07/2022 21:07

orkneyisthebest · 07/07/2022 19:07

I would send him in. All 5 of us tested positive on monday but since no one has been unwell apart from slight cold symptoms. We just got on with it. Dh still went to work. Ive taken the kids out etc Going to visit family tomorrow for the weekend and will travel by train. I treat it as any other illness tbh

You got on with it, went about your daily business but sadly even if you are feel ok some other poor sod will have it now. It’s no wonder it’s spreading like it is. I know you’re free to do what you want, and for some people staying off work now means they lose money. But its not just a cold to some people, I’ve just had it and I felt awful.

orkneyisthebest · 07/07/2022 21:46

Thatusername · 07/07/2022 21:07

You got on with it, went about your daily business but sadly even if you are feel ok some other poor sod will have it now. It’s no wonder it’s spreading like it is. I know you’re free to do what you want, and for some people staying off work now means they lose money. But its not just a cold to some people, I’ve just had it and I felt awful.

Show quote history

If dh didn't work he would've not got paid.
If i didn't take my disabled ds out I might've got so stressed due to his violence the suicidal thoughts would have came back.
If we dont visit family we probably wont see dfil again.

Of course it's selfish but im not sorry for it.

Original poster
AnotherEmma · 07/07/2022 21:57

I understand orkney, you have to do what you have to do, but I do hope you'll all wear decent masks on the train.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnotherEmma · 08/07/2022 08:10

Well, that was all a moot point, as DS's LFT is positive this morning. Keeping him home. Thank God we have tolerant neighbours!

OP posts:
ifonly4 · 08/07/2022 08:17

Hope DS is better soon. Our school actually ask you keep them off five days and they only come back if feeling completely well. I think you've done the right thing, the last thing parents want is their children going down with covid and in turn themselves as they'll have plans for the early part of the holidays - I know we have to get used to living with it, but some do have vulnerable friends/family and others like myself/DH really well ill - I had ten days off.

howshouldibehave · 08/07/2022 08:23

Children and young people with mild symptoms such as a runny nose, sore throat, or slight cough, who are otherwise well, can continue to attend their education setting.

It’s no wonder that we have teachers and TA getting covid multiple times with government advice like this! Interesting that the dentist refuse to see me if anyone in my household even has symptoms of covid, yet it’s fine for me to teach classes of 30 at close range with sore throats and coughs and testing positive!

BusyMum47 · 08/07/2022 08:41

orkneyisthebest · 07/07/2022 19:07

I would send him in. All 5 of us tested positive on monday but since no one has been unwell apart from slight cold symptoms. We just got on with it. Dh still went to work. Ive taken the kids out etc Going to visit family tomorrow for the weekend and will travel by train. I treat it as any other illness tbh

Seriously??
You're all knowingly positive but happily swanning around, risking other people's health. So selfish.

BusyMum47 · 08/07/2022 08:42

howshouldibehave · 08/07/2022 08:23

Children and young people with mild symptoms such as a runny nose, sore throat, or slight cough, who are otherwise well, can continue to attend their education setting.

It’s no wonder that we have teachers and TA getting covid multiple times with government advice like this! Interesting that the dentist refuse to see me if anyone in my household even has symptoms of covid, yet it’s fine for me to teach classes of 30 at close range with sore throats and coughs and testing positive!

Fellow teachers here. I agree!! 😡

Original poster
AnotherEmma · 08/07/2022 08:46

ifonly4 · 08/07/2022 08:17

Hope DS is better soon. Our school actually ask you keep them off five days and they only come back if feeling completely well. I think you've done the right thing, the last thing parents want is their children going down with covid and in turn themselves as they'll have plans for the early part of the holidays - I know we have to get used to living with it, but some do have vulnerable friends/family and others like myself/DH really well ill - I had ten days off.

Thank you but he's better already, he's been completely fine since yesterday (Thursday) morning. So we will definitely send him to school on Monday.

I'm on Day 6 and still feeling rubbish but it's not surprising is it when I can't rest properly Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
AnotherEmma · 08/07/2022 08:48

howshouldibehave · 08/07/2022 08:23

Children and young people with mild symptoms such as a runny nose, sore throat, or slight cough, who are otherwise well, can continue to attend their education setting.

It’s no wonder that we have teachers and TA getting covid multiple times with government advice like this! Interesting that the dentist refuse to see me if anyone in my household even has symptoms of covid, yet it’s fine for me to teach classes of 30 at close range with sore throats and coughs and testing positive!

If you keep reading it says that if they test positive they shouldn't be in school for 3 days following the test. IMO the concerning thing is that the guidelines say that we shouldn't be testing children unless told to by a doctor - WTF?! So if they have mild symptoms, don't bother testing, just send them in Confused If we'd followed that advice we would've sent DD to nursery (she has mild cold symptoms, no fever) but we did the right thing, tested her and kept her home.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 08/07/2022 08:52

AnotherEmma · 08/07/2022 08:10

Well, that was all a moot point, as DS's LFT is positive this morning. Keeping him home. Thank God we have tolerant neighbours!

Just came on to see how it went.

Sorry it's still positive. But glad he's feeling much better.

The weather seems good everywhere today - perhaps get them out in the garden doing water play or something?

ofwarren · 08/07/2022 09:47

AnotherEmma · 08/07/2022 08:10

Well, that was all a moot point, as DS's LFT is positive this morning. Keeping him home. Thank God we have tolerant neighbours!

Thought it would be
I hope you feel better soon. It's dire looking after kids when you are ill yourself Flowers

Original poster
AnotherEmma · 08/07/2022 10:13

Thanks both.

Yes, we are lucky to have a decent size garden and I've got the garden toys out including water table. Don't think I can be arsed with the pool though, I'll wait until the weekend when DH is around. DS only wants to do what he wants to do, so it'll be a wasted effort if he decides he doesn't want to go in (often happens).

DD seems to be flagging now so perhaps she will be unwell with it after all.

And I agree ofwarren, looking after young children when ill is definitely the worst thing about parenting! (And before I get flamed, I'm talking day-to-day... it's obviously not worse than losing a child or having a child who's seriously ill.)

OP posts:
orkneyisthebest · 08/07/2022 10:23

BusyMum47 · 08/07/2022 08:41

Seriously??
You're all knowingly positive but happily swanning around, risking other people's health. So selfish.

Show quote history

We all do what we need to do to survive.
I'm only honest about it.

It's the summer hoildays here ( Scotland) otherwise i would have kept them off tbh.
Dh work actually told him to come in anyway.

Jizzle · 08/07/2022 13:08

I would have sent my DC in regardless,. We tested when ours had symptoms earlier this year and they were positive, but I couldn't take the time off work so they went in anyways.