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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have reservations about nephew using cannabis for adhd

86 replies

LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 15:22

My sister has gotten pretty offended when I expressed concern/reservations about her 19 yr old son using cannabis, she says, to help him relax and sleep due to his adhd.

My first reservation was the due to seeing a few articles recently aboit cannabis use, even casual, affecting the brain, in particular developing brains.

Second was due to the risk of dependence (and increased use) over time.

I didn't say at the time (because it got v heated quite quickly) but also concerned about him driving and working (manual job with a big safety emphasis... apprentice electrician).

And also possible testing by employers.

Sister gave the impression it was every night, my Mum has since said its not, but I don't know if she's just saying that because it caused a "lively" debate.

OP posts:
thecurtainsofdestiny · 07/07/2022 18:32

In answer to the question about how long cannabis is detectable in urine sample:

After single use, about 3 days.

With daily use: can be 30 days

aSofaNearYou · 07/07/2022 18:38

Do you know for sure how long it stays in the system?

I wouldn't be any more concerned about someone working the day after smoking weed as I would about someone working the day after drinking. If anything it causes less lasting effects by the next day.

Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 18:42

Iknowitisheresomewhere · 07/07/2022 18:08

Of course. But a 19yr old in an ADHD rant is not going to stop ranting on your say so to watch a video. Leaving the house is possibly an option, but may put your belongings or other people in the house at risk, or maybe you need to be in the house (eg to cook dinner, go to sleep etc). In which case you have no choice but to disengage and ignore, but the ranting may still continue.

Have you spoken to your nephew?

If ... after listening sympathetically, discussing, offering solutions etc a couple of times ... you could not leave your home to get a time out from being rated at without a young nan who workd, has a salary, pays taxes, deal with employers and colleagues, has a gf, is sexually active and could become a father at a time, drives, has friends etc...... trashing your home or belongings; i would be of the opinion that he should probably live elsewhere.

He is actually looking for somewhere with his gf.

I live in a different town and don't see him much due to location, work, his relationship etc. I wouldn't wouldn't in a position to speak to him personally about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 18:48

(There is only his Dad and older sister there BTW, again- if they were put at risk because I wouldn't stay and be ranted at/because I went out; I'd likewise think he should no longer be living in the family home).

OP posts:
Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 18:50

thecurtainsofdestiny · 07/07/2022 18:32

In answer to the question about how long cannabis is detectable in urine sample:

After single use, about 3 days.

With daily use: can be 30 days

That's longer than I expected.

He's been moving around employers,n maybe he/my sister would be more concerned if thry knew a large employer could test and it could stop him getting work.

OP posts:
Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 18:53

IGotItInTheSales · 07/07/2022 18:23

Any electrician who came to my home or workplace smelling of cannabis ( and he will be!!) will be shown the door

I think he's working mostly on new builds or refits of non domestic buildings.

But I agree; I wouldn't have much faith in wiring safety done by someone smoking dope (or drinking much for that matter) wcwet evening.

OP posts:
Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 18:59

georgarina · 07/07/2022 18:16

I grew up with someone who smoked regularly since we were teens and he now has schizophrenia. Given the links between cannabis and psychosis I'm sure it's more than a coincidence. I also experienced short term drug induced psychosis after trying it at 15. But unfortunately I think it's unlikely they will listen to you :(

That's very scary.

No, they'll think they're horror stories or at the very least things that happen to the minority of people.

This has been going on for a while too, because I remember a kerfuffle between this sister and another one when the other criticised her/her son for putting photos with bongs in them on Facebook.

Big part of the problem seems to be hes hanging with people who use it pretty regularly.

OP posts:
Floofboopsnootandbork · 07/07/2022 18:59

I'm wondering if that process started during gcse's, why (at 19) he woouldbt have been seen by now

I was in primary school when the process started for me, I was 15 by the time I got my adhd diagnosis and 19 when I got

Floofboopsnootandbork · 07/07/2022 19:04

Sorry, dog jumped on me and I accidentally posted 😂

… I was 19 when I got an autism diagnosis. Both of them only happened because my mum paid privately after getting nowhere on the nhs. I did start getting medicated for adhd until I was 17, so 2 years after diagnosis, I ended up having to stop medication because it was messing me up worse than remaining unmedicated. I was over 10 years for my diagnosis and over 6 years after that I’m still not much better off, it’s not a quick process at all.

Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 19:07

JustanotherJP · 07/07/2022 18:30

As a magistrate I can tell you that the drug drive limit is set as a very different level to the drink drive level. Drink drive limits are set where it is deemed there will be an impairment to your ability to drive. Drug drive limits are set at a level just to avoid false positives, so very much lower.

We regularly see people in court charged with drug driving who say they have just had a joint the night before. They are often shocked it is still in their system. Trying to do research on cannabis levels and how long they take to go down is really hard I found when I googled a while ago. It is definite to say that it hangs around your system a lot longer than alcohol.

i would also say that when we have drug addicts in, which is virtually every day I am in court, their habits often started with cannabis. They often went onto harder drugs or sometimes have incurred mental health issues as a result. Obviously we only see the people where it has had a detrimental effect, but there are enough of them around that it made me very harsh on it with my teenagers.

Sorry you and your sister are in this position OP. I wonder if she is also very unhappy about it and feels she has to accept this so is putting a brave face on?

Thanks for this.

Clearly a lot of people, including posters here, don't realise that (the limit, the detectability etc.).

Yes, I think maybe she's worn down by years of stufff (pretty intense in the last few yrs of school) and maybe she feels she can't stop him anyway so ....

There seems to be a lot of the "weed isn't bad for you, it's better than drinking, it's going to be legalised anyway etc" thinking circulating around our city atm.

OP posts:
Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 19:08

Sorry, dog jumped on me and I accidentally posted

😆

OP posts:
FawnFrenchieMum · 07/07/2022 19:08

My 15 year old ADHD DS decided to self medicate by smoking cannabis a few months ago. Before we knew what was going on he become moody, angry and depressed. He couldn’t see while he was doing it how much it was otherwise effecting him. He told us it relaxed him, slowed his brain down and helped him shut off his brain to sleep. It was an awful time.
He is now actually medicated for ADHD (after a two year waiting list from diagnosis, that had taken years to get) and as others have said, it’s a stimulant that’s used. He also has melatonin for sleep but doesn’t need to use that much any more.
Now he’s stopped his use, he’s much more like his old self.
Your sister is probably in a place of despair after years of fighting for help for him an ultimately, he’s an adult, she probably doesn’t have much say. He won’t be able to the damage whilst he’s heavily reliant on it.
The support for teens with ADHD / ASD etc is so poor that I dread how this will effect the young adult over the next few years.

Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 19:09

I was over 10 years for my diagnosis and over 6 years after that I’m still not much better off, it’s not a quick process at all.

Seems very slow indeed.

OP posts:
HairyKitty · 07/07/2022 19:11

OP it might be that you can help and emotionally support your sis by learning more about how adhd can present. Eg the unreasonable ranting, self centredness and genuine inability to see or control your own emotions can be part of the uncontrollable symptoms. You can google executive function for more ideas.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 07/07/2022 19:13

stimulates are amazing for aDHD. Changed my life, no high but I can think and am not overwhelmed, but it puts my BP up. Weed, on the other hand, makes me jumpy and on edge.

Wine is good, but makes me fat.

Rickrollme · 07/07/2022 19:32

LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 16:01

I don't know if he'd be using heavy machinery as such as an apprentice electrician.

But I can't say I'd be over the moon at the idea of a building I was in having been wired by a young person who is smoking weed most evenings.

(Got the impression it was more evenings but now it won't ve, because ot turned into an unpleasant sort of debate).

Show quote history

In America it is legal for recreational use in many states. I know doctors, dentists, lawyers, scientists, teachers and many other highly successful people who use it during their off hours. It has zero bearing on their professional capabilities and doesn’t give you a hangover like drinking. It helps that when you buy it legally it is regulated so you know exactly what you are getting and have many options for how to ingest safely. I agree that it is worrying for a teenager to be using it regularly though most people I know did to some extent at that age and have gone on to very successful lives but to suggest a person who used cannabis the night before could not competently serve as an electrician is laughably naive. If you educate yourself and discuss it in a more evidence-based way rather than a reactionary OH NO WEED IS BAD approach your sister might be more receptive to your legitimate concerns about your nephew.

Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 19:33

HairyKitty · 07/07/2022 19:11

OP it might be that you can help and emotionally support your sis by learning more about how adhd can present. Eg the unreasonable ranting, self centredness and genuine inability to see or control your own emotions can be part of the uncontrollable symptoms. You can google executive function for more ideas.

Will do.

You've been a great source of info in this thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 19:36

In America it is legal for recreational use in many states.

Sorry, but that's not an opening sentence conducive to a positive reading of the rest of your post.

OP posts:
Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 19:40

It has zero bearing on their professional capabilities and doesn’t give you a hangover like drinking.

You state that like it's a fact, but it's not really, is it.

A magistrate has outlined here what the drug driving limit is for example, and anecdotal evidence of how little the pees convicted said they'd taken. Nonetheless they ended up in court for it, possibly lost their license... two things that will most definitely have an effect on your professional capabilities lol

I'd ve intetested to know what those states are doing about drug driving.

OP posts:
Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 19:41

*person

OP posts:
Original poster
LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 19:42

FawnFrenchieMum · 07/07/2022 19:08

My 15 year old ADHD DS decided to self medicate by smoking cannabis a few months ago. Before we knew what was going on he become moody, angry and depressed. He couldn’t see while he was doing it how much it was otherwise effecting him. He told us it relaxed him, slowed his brain down and helped him shut off his brain to sleep. It was an awful time.
He is now actually medicated for ADHD (after a two year waiting list from diagnosis, that had taken years to get) and as others have said, it’s a stimulant that’s used. He also has melatonin for sleep but doesn’t need to use that much any more.
Now he’s stopped his use, he’s much more like his old self.
Your sister is probably in a place of despair after years of fighting for help for him an ultimately, he’s an adult, she probably doesn’t have much say. He won’t be able to the damage whilst he’s heavily reliant on it.
The support for teens with ADHD / ASD etc is so poor that I dread how this will effect the young adult over the next few years.

Really glad he got sorted and is doing well now.

OP posts:
thecurtainsofdestiny · 07/07/2022 20:05

Skunk is prevalent in the UK ( higher levels of THC and thus higher risk of causing psychosis). I'm not sure if the legal cannabis in the US is the same thing at all. Might not be comparing like for like here.

www.bbc.com/news/health-43196566

FawnFrenchieMum · 07/07/2022 21:08

Thanks @LooseGoose22, it’s always a worry that he’ll back or try something new. Unfortunately impulsive & addiction type behaviour are part ADHD. We have good weeks and bad weeks. The support is non existent.

HairyKitty · 07/07/2022 21:55

I read this recently, might be interesting. amp.theguardian.com/society/2022/jun/18/uk-prisoners-attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-prison

AprilRae91 · 07/07/2022 22:46

If he starts using cannabis at 19 to reduce/ deal with stress, he will likely become dependent and addicted. He will never learn to cope without it and it could ruin his life.

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