For those with SEN child how much do your family help?

[HoppingKangaroo]

We have an autistic 4 year old son with a language delay and issues with his behaviour. These have improved and he has stopped things like the head banging and mostly stopped hitting me. In the past he had no sense of danger and you could not leave him alone at all and taking him places was difficult. The last few years have been difficult and quite a slog and I have barely got any rest away from him.

The only rest we get is when my parents visit every 2 weeks for 6 hours on a weekend. He gets 15 hours at preschool but there are problems with that due to his behaviour with others as the preschool only have funding for 10 hours of one on one. Without these breaks I would have went insane by now. Me and my DH have not eaten alone in a restaurant since before DC was born.

My inlaws are no help at all and barely see our dc and barely give him attention when they visit. They also try to make demands on our very limited time. Due to this my opinion of them has drastically reduced alot and I frankly resent them.

How much do your family and in laws help. And if they are no help and judgmental how do you feel about them?

sadly zero.

ILs are deceased and my parents live in New Zealand near my sister who has a very great deal of help but still manages to moan about it.

[bitter on occasion]

Parents do say how wonderfully well I parent. DH and i have muddled through on our own largely but now he is 12 things are getting loads loads better. (Puberty has not hit yet though!)

My parents have never been interested in my DC and my FIL is in his early 80's and will occasionally have my DC (13) overnight for 1-3 nights;DC has stayed with his GD 4 times,2 x 1 night,1 x 2 nights and 1 x 3 nights.

FIL will sometimes help out with babysitting DC but I don't think he has since covid started outside of overnight stays.DC normally comes everywhere with me.

My parents regularly have DS for the weekend. He tends to be calmer and less likely to have meltdowns when at their house and it lets us sleep, get various things that need doing done, or just relax.