Puppy Blues

[Doghelplease]

Before I post anything I just want to ask please don’t judge and to be kind - I know MN can be sometimes, have antagonists left right and centre and basically suggests people rehome their pets at the drop of a hat - I’m hoping this thread will be different!

I got a dog a few weeks ago, but it seems like I’m having something called the puppy blues. I done so much research, used to care for other people’s animals, have grown up around different animals all my life (from horses, to snakes and everything in between) but this has been like a bomb to my life - the shock of actually having my own.

Obviously very energetic especially because haven’t been able to go on walks due to vaccinations, literally goes out to get to wee every 30 mins - 1 hour but chooses to wait until he gets right back inside the house 5 seconds later to go, is quite destructive with the children clothes and toys despite following advice from a behaviourist - it is literally draining my life and I can’t sit down for 5 minutes to even enjoy a hot cup of tea at the moment.

Does this get better as they get older? I’ve also got my kids at home too at the moment which isn’t helping as they are also very draining sometimes and can’t get a moments peace!

I guess I’m just looking for some hope that things will settle down? I feel like then independence I had from the kids being a bit older now has been completely taken away again, will I ever get it back?!

Hi OP, don’t worry too much, puppies are hard work!!! But it gets easier, I promise!

Our lab was a complete knob head when we got him and was a significant contributor to he ending up on anti depressants. He stared to get better when he loads his puppy teeth around 20 weeks and he’s been the perfect dog since he turned 1. He was definitely threatened with going back a lot! Now he’s our whole world and he’s the main contributor to my good mental health so yes, it will get better I promise.

*me not he, I don’t give anti depressants to my dog!

Puppies are a complete pain in the arse. My sprocker pup is now a year and bless him is a good lad. He always was, just very into everything and the toilet training felt like it took ages. Just remember they have utterly crap bladder control until they are about 5 months! 😂
Keep going. It will pass and you'll see more and more of the good. What type of pup do you have?

@OrlandointheWilderness Cavapoochon

Mine almost broke me as a puppy. She chewed everything. EVERYfuckingthing. Right through the table leg in fact. Toilet training took an age.

As an adult she is an absolute joy, can be taken anywhere and relied on to behave. Rarely needs a lead, good with other dogs, good with children, won't touch anything she is told not to. The puppy years are brutal but they do grow up quickly.

I agree with so many of the replies on here. I honestly think the early days of having a puppy are as hard as having a baby. I remember vividly standing in the freezing garden at 3am pleading the bloody pup to pee thinking (and crying) what the hell have we done, and telling DH I couldn't cope. It's tough, but I assure you it will pass. Promise. Suddenly everything will click into place and you'll not can imagine life without your pup. Px

Another voice to echo what others have said for those struggling. We bought a puppy when our older dog was about 8. It was so overwhelming. I spent a month sleeping downstairs on the sofa to settle him, be there when he needed to go outside and stop him keeping our older dog awake. He ate his own poo and older dog’s. He pulled so badly on the lead I got dragged and fell face first into the road, I nearly lost him a couple of times where he just pegged it and didn’t come back, chewed all sorts when your back was turned, he got salmonella poisoning and had liquid shits for a week until antibiotics worked, he’s vomited all over my expensive carpet, barked his head off when left alone for an hour or so at home (to the extent neighbour mentioned it) and left more muddy paw prints on beds and carpets than I can remember.

And yet, at 2, he is now the centre of our family, loved by all - even DH who has never been a dog person. I’ve worked hard with him on the lead since we lost our older dog and I could focus more and he’s much much better. Have also managed to stop him eating poo. He’s got more love for all of us in one paw than you could possibly hope for - he’s always there, curled up in the crook of my knees at night, lying on my feet while I work, draped over DH as DD reads at bedtime. I would be bereft without him.

But I need a long break before I can cope with another puppy…

I’m also going to go against the tide here and say I hated the FB group recommended above so much I left. I found the pressure to do everything perfectly, never tell them off, be relentlessly patient and always consistent so overwhelming. Of course that’s the aim, but I couldn’t get it. So I did things my way. Not perfect. But we manage fine. It’s important to get the right help that works for you if things go a bit tits.

@RuperttheBearHug i totally know what you mean about that facebook group, i read it and it annoys me so much how theres lots of people are so perfect..i understand we need to get it right but it was so overwhelming for me and being told to read guide after guide after guide b4 commenting, it was making me ill reading all the stuff when all i wanted was some friendly advice.

I agree about that Facebook group too, as did our behaviouralist (who we had to get in as we had created something of a monster by letting him completely rule the roost - accidentally of course but trying to get a family of four to follow the incredibly strict rules at all times was impossible so we all ended up doing something different). The behaviouralist put in place more realistic practices whilst still being positive reinforcement only. Slightly OT but @RuperttheBearHug how did you get your pup to stop eating poo? Still have that issue - usually fox cat (or worse 🤢)

I didn’t get puppy blues with ours, but it was hard work. We were first time dog owners for the older one too so a real shock to the system after having only had kittens / cats previously.

We set alarm clocks through the night to take them outside every hour or two. The first puppy we got was in July, the second in November, I am never getting a winter puppy again, it is much harder. 😁 When we were toilet training, we kept a notebook and noted the times of eating, pooping and peeing, eventually we started to see patterns and could go longer between trips outside. You need to stay outside with him until he has been.

I think once the toilet training is done it will calm down a lot. But still there is other training to do plus managing the high energy of a young dog. I remember when our first one was about six months old, somebody said to us that he will be high energy until he is about two. That is probably right, he is eight now so long behind us.

@DuaneBenzie yes I was thinking the same that the FB Group is excellent. It also makes me feel a bit better that other people have issues!

I also think a lot of the puppy stuff is down to your own coping level, (absolutely not a criticism) some people hate all the chewing, weeing /pooing in house etc. And obviously thats understandable, but it doesn't bother me.

I keep my important stuff out of puppies reach , even if it mean shoes thrown in corner out of main area, our 7 month old is still not toilet trained and it doesn't bother me as we don't have carpets and we took rugs up.

I focus on the fact that I know she will be toilet trained as she is getting better and better, she is amazing at being in the crate , sleeps through the night and is good at being left alone.

@perrymason as soon as she/he goes to eat or even sniff, can you call and distract, even if it means being right in their face. Followed by a click and treat. So instead of saying no or leave, they know they get a treat.

Im no expert though ! I just find a distraction is better sometimes.

Mine took 4/5 months to calm down a bit. I say a bit, but Labrador 🤣.

It’s ok to feel a bit ‘what have I done?!’ Just keep at it.

Ooof so glad it wasn’t just me. I am a member of a similar group for horse training and it can be so difficult to feel good enough, consistent enough, deal with day to day life and train etc.

Re poo, I watched him closely every time he went out in the garden, made sure we cleared up all poos straight away, if we caught him eating it, he got a decent squirt of doggy dental breather freshener foam in his gob (which he hated) and I put him on a daily probiotic supplement for his gut. It might be he’s just grown out of it but we haven’t had the issue for about 6-12 months now. When out on walks he will sometimes still eat cow poo but I distract and move him along!

Yeah, we gave ourselves a deadline and said if he hasn't got better by [date] we'll have to give him back, or get him re-homed while he's still cute enough that someone will want him. He must have heard us because he literally changed overnight when the deadline arrived.
Nearly 12 years on and getting him (and keeping him!) is the best thing we ever did. The kids adore him, his status as best dog ever is the one thing we all agree on. Even when we fall out with each other we all still love the dog.

Puppy blues are very real - you are certainly not alone.

Along with the DTAS group (and book, it's available on kindle unlimited if you have that, as well as a proper book) theres a puppy training app, Zigzag which has real time chat with qualified trainers (not bots!) 24/7 (I think...) so you can talk to a real, sensible person at any point!

I would not advise setting deadlines, those can increase pressure on everyone and a rushed puppy is likely to be even more of a PITA - it does get better, typically theres a big change around 16 weeks when teeth start to come out and they get less bitey.

The toileting thing you're experiencing is VERY normal for a variety of reasons - its cold and wet and nasty out, its safe and warm and there are no monsters indoors! Puppies are easily distracted and forget they need to go, then come in, all the distraction is gone... boom, need to pee!

Theres also the 'double whammy pee'.. they go out, they pee, they come in... they pee again, what?! Likely they've rushed it and haven't really done all they need to do (and if your bladder was designed to NOT fully empty so you always have some in store for vital scent marking purposes... you might struggle with this too!) so again they come in and relax and feel safe... and need to pee again. I go out for a few, come in and count to ten and go out again for another short period.

It is tough work right now but consider this as a foundation building period.. well worth doing right, even if its frustrating and tedious!

Thank you @rupert and @janey for suggestions re poo eating - always happens when off lead so it is trickier to distract but I’m loving the idea of doggy dental breath freshener foam - didn’t know it existed and I suspect he will get it quite quickly after a few mouthfuls of that - pretty sure he knows already I love him least when he’s just eaten a large mouthful of sewage washed up on beach (whole other thread 🤬) and will help me to cope with it better!