Weight and coffee advice, please read!!!!

[Goldencoffee]

Seen a lot of weight threads recently, jumping on the bandwagon a bit sorry.

when I was a teen, I was a competitive dancer. My teacher was very supportive and not at all the stereotypical weight obsessed dance teacher, but in that environment of competitive dancing there’s always that unspoken rule that skinnier is better. I was always praised for having long skinny legs and how it made the steps I was dancing look better. There’s a huge emphasis on looks and when you’re wearing shorts at training or dresses with extremely short skirts for competitions, you’re always conscious and paranoid about your legs and because everyone can always see them you end up comparing and wanting to be skinnier.

I love dancing and could talk for hours about how much I’ve learned from it, but the pressure on looks can be toxic and it’s hard to shake it off. I never had an eating disorder and I was always naturally thin, but I went through a short phase of worrying about calorie intake and skipping meals and drinking coffee so I would have energy but could stay skinny (parents had no idea) .

anyway, I’m now an adult and obviously don’t dance anymore, and overall I have a healthy relationship with food and my weight, but sometimes I feel that pang of ‘im not skinny enough’ and I have to actively remind myself that I am absolutely fine. I guess that’s the lasting affect of dancing where nothing is ever perfect enough and everyone could be better/faster/skinner. I also fall into the habit of skipping meals eg breakfast and lunch sometimes and drinking coffee- not because I want to lose weight, but more because I’m too busy and don’t really make time for food and coffee is just easier and I like the energy I get from it. Obviously this isn’t a healthy habit but I picked up as a dancer and it’s hard to break. Does anyone have any experience on how to break this habit? Should I go cold turkey altogether with the coffee and make myself eat instead? Or is it ok because I’m only doing it sometimes and I’m a healthy weight?

any advice would be really helpful! x

Do you really need to? Because coffee and no breakfast is quite normal for most people I know.
I don't se it as unhealthy tbh

I would just make aure I have nice good lunch. Breakfast is not necessary if you don't want it

What you are doing may or may not be a problem, we honestly can’t know. But as long as you eat normally a few times a day then it’s fine. If however you spend lots of time overthinking these coffees and thinking about what food you should have/don’t have/shouldn’t have…. Then that’s an issue.

Switch to decaf? Wean yourself off the caffeine first? Be prepared for headaches!

Make breakfast up the night before - overnight oats? Or just plan to have a later breakfast / brunch and made that nutritious.

Thats what I wasn’t sure, if it’s an unhealthy habit or not. Because I’m used to the dancing world I’m not actually sure what’s normal and what’s because of dancing (if that makes sense)

I definitely drink too much coffee (usually 8+ cups a day) which I know is fine for some people but I’d like to cut it down for me.

I guess my other question was if anyone had any advice on how to stop feeling bad about my weight even though I know it’s fine. I don’t know if it’s something that just sticks with you when you’ve been a dancer or if there’s anyway to shake off the doubts about your weight when you know deep down it’s fine x

I used to have an eating disorder (anorexia which turned into bulimia) I’m now a totally normal weight with a normal relationship with food.

I regularly get to lunchtime just on coffee, due to being busy with kids and work, and not being a big breakfast person. I’d never considered it worrying. As long as I eat enough overall and am a healthy weight.

Well 8+ cups is not great unless it's just basically slightly coloured water. I tend to stop myself at 3.
Stop before lunch. It helps if you have time cut off.

That’s a lot of coffee. Are you definitely not drinking it to suppress your appetite? Are you definitely a healthy BMI? How many calories does it take to maintain your weight and are you generally healthy?

It took me years to feel comfortable in my new bigger body and honestly, I’m not sure I ever will feel happy with it but it’s served me well and I’m trying to look after it!

i rarely eat breakfast and usually survive on 2 coffees and a cup of tea in the morning
only time i usually eat in the morning is on holiday and even then it can be hit or miss

Have you tried decaf for alternate coffees? It halves your consumption of caffeine and can help wean you off so many.

I have really loved the stuff for many years. I would usually drink 2 cups a day before about 11.00, so not excessive, but now I am early 40s I am really noticing the effects on anxiety and ramping up jitteriness until the afternoon, twice as bad around the time of the month. I thought it was something I'd have loads of tolerance to, but no. Cutting down the caffeine levels might help stave this off in future.

For a start, use your recommended body mass index (BMI) to objectively judge whether or not you are a healthy weight, not subjective feelings of how skinny you are (be they your own feelings, or anyone else's).

www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/bmi-calculator/

If you have a healthy BMI, then you are at a healthy weight - end of story. If someone still disagrees, balls to them!

There is nothing wrong with having a cup of coffee, but it is not good to regularly skip meals.

Keep having a coffee, but as a compliment to breakfast or lunch, not a replacement.

You say you don't "make time for food" - then start making time.

It only takes 5 mins to have a bowl of healthy cereal, or a piece of toast, or a salad or whatever. It doesn't need to be time intensive.

Even if you dont feel you are missing out via not having breakfast or lunch, your body will be missing out on necessary fibre, nutrients, healthy fats etc.

I think it’s fine to skip breakfast (I usually do) and just have coffee. I think you drink too much coffee though, as you suspected. Just taper down to 3 mugs, so each week you reduce by one coffee.

No advice on the body positivity, we all struggle with it to a degree. You sound very sensible and aware to me, maybe consider doing a dance class (online barre class, Zumba whatever) twice a week to keep that side of your brain and all your training ticking over.

I agree, often I will have a strong coffee in the morning, and then my first meal of the day is around 11:30ish, as late breakfast/early lunch, then dinner at around 6ish. I can't really face eating as soon as I get up. Two slightly bigger meals is my preference over three smaller ones.

8 coffees is a lot though - but a coffee for breakfast is ok as long as you're eating well the rest of the day.

I never had an eating disorder and I was always naturally thin, but I went through a short phase of worrying about calorie intake and skipping meals and drinking coffee so I would have energy but could stay skinny

That does sound a lot like an eating disorder to me, I have to say.

You say that was a 'short phase' but also that replacing meals with coffee is a habit that's stayed with you, so it can't have been that short if it became that ingrained for you. You also say you aren't skipping breakfast to lose weight but just because you are busy. Do you genuinely, hand on heart, believe that is the reason, or are you perhaps kidding yourself a little bit? You say you still have insecurities about weight and so on, so I'm wondering if 'I'm too busy' is just an excuse. Apart from anything, you could at the very least eat a cereal bar or a roll or a yogurt or a piece of fruit or something in the same amount of time it takes you to drink a coffee, so to me it doesn't feel like lack of time is the real reason for this. But of course I could be totally wrong!

It's certainly true that loads of people don't bother with breakfast (I'm one of them, and my caffeine intake is colossal) but I think someone with no significant weight insecurities or food control history skipping breakfast could be different from someone who has a lot of psychological issues around weight skipping breakfast. Overall, assuming you are not underweight and you feel fit and well and are eating good lunch and a good dinner, maybe the odd snack every day, it probably isn't a massive issue to skip breakfast, but I do think you need to make sure that you eat enough throughout the day to make up for it. You sound like you're really aware of the need to keep tabs on anything that might be akin to disordered eating, so I'm sure you are perceptive enough and self-aware enough to look for some help if you really do find yourself eating less and less. Stay strong and look after yourself!

Start replacing some of your coffee with decaf if you're concerned.

Me and my DH rarely eat breakfast but have a coffee in the morning. Don't have any appetite first thing.
Cut down your caffeine, eat if you're hungry at breakfast time.

I usually only drink coffee in the morning - eat breakfast very rarely. Not everyone wants to eat first thing and I think that’s fine. My dh wakes up ravenous - I’ve never experienced this!

8 cups isn't ok for anyone, I don't know how you would think it is.

Having a coffee or 2 first thing is very common, and for most people not an issue. In fact, if you're going to have it, morning is best.

An important question is, what is in the coffee? If it's got a lot of milk and/or sugar, that is going to be a real issue over the coming years, but if it's black, or just a splash of milk, then my understanding is that 4 cups a day is OK.

There's a kind of bell curve, where you go past the optimum number of cups ( about 2-3 ? ), and start hitting medical problems over time.

If you continue to drink 8 cups a day, whether you eat or not, you are increasing your risk of all sorts of problems.

I would say, stop worrying about the eating, and start worrying about weaning off the coffee.

It would also be possible that you would have more urge to eat if you didn't drink so much coffee, and this would override any vague feelings that you don't have time to make food.

Think of how a toddler needs to wean off milk if it's getting in the way of eating!

If you feel ok and are a healthy weight then keep doing what you are doing. Not need to have breakfast if you don't want it. Lots of evidence that time restricted eating is better for us anyway.

Not having breakfast and having a coffee instead isnt strange. Actually it is a diet fad lately: intermittent fasting :)
I have skipped breakfast for almost 3 decades now.

You’ve discovered intermittent fasting 😉

Can't believe lifestyle of large part of population is a fad diet now😁 @Marvellousmadness

In my youth it was coffee and a ciggy brrakfast. Ah. The memories

Skipping breakfast isn’t an issue. Drinking 8 cups of coffee is. As others say start to wean yourself off that by swopping some for decaf then cut out altogether.

I work in the events industry and half my colleagues skip meals and survive on coffee when travelling or doing setup. It's normal for any busy professional I can think of.