To pull DH up on this

[Huggywuggywtf]

So my MIL can be hard work sometimes, she makes comments that make me feel stupid. She also thinks she is a cut above. I pulled DH up on it last night and he got so defensive, telling me I am too sensitive, is this an argument I will probably never win?

And why is it his fault she's a knob? He's probably embarrassed.

Why are you pulling your DH up on someones else's behaviour?

You've got to challenge her directly when things happen. You're an adult and can stand up for yourself.

Depends. A husband should stand up for his wife, but sometimes wives are overly sensitive to MILs. What does say, exactly?

I dunno, I feel if my mum ever made him feel bad I would certainly not allow it and feel comfortable to pull her up, he sticks up for her for some reason.

I will admit I can be overly sensitive but I feel every time I say something I get shut down etc. I suppose I just wish we had a better relationship.

You can’t control other people’s behaviour, only your response to it. You only need to feel stupid as a result of her comments if they are, in fact, accurate, and you are a bit stupid. If you don’t believe they’re accurate then you just take them with a pinch of salt, smile and nod, and then carry on doing things exactly as you want to.

Or, tell her you don’t appreciate some of what she says yourself. Making a family drama out of it and putting your DH in a position where he has to be piggy in the middle of your fight isn’t fair and won’t stop her making the comments (she’ll likely just make different ones, about how you need somebody else to fight your battles for you.)

Only you are responsible, for how you allow people to make you feel.

It's not really your DH's fault that your MIL is a dick, is it? Backing you up if you're being treated unfairly would be reasonable, but I don't think he can really do much about her 'making you feel stupid' or 'thinking she's a cut above'.

In what way does she 'make you feel stupid', exactly?

You haven’t actually given any examples of her being unreasonable though. If she called you fat or something then it’s clear that she’s out of line and might be something for your husband to step in for. But her just being a low grade dick puts him in a difficult position of having to listen to his mum being slagged off

Your DH is not responsible for his DM behaviour. Pull her on it when it happens

You shouldn't be pulling your husband up on this ,you should be dealing with her directly.

What do you mean "for some reason"?

The reason is she is his mother and he loves her and doesn't like or agree with your criticisms.

Plus you're having a go at him for something he has no control of.

It's clear when you read on here that some women will never like their MILs no matter what and often they'll force a wedge between them. Be happy that he'll defend her. Maybe one day your son will do the same for you