Am I Boring?

[Simplehappyzen]

Please be kind 🙏. I've recently turned 48 and have a good network of friends etc, most of whom drink most nights. Conversations always end up talking about 'wine o'clock ' or how they decided on a last minute bbq and a few gins etc. I stopped drinking about 2 years ago now, mainly due to medication given for chronic pain. I just don't get the attraction anymore about a glass (or bottle) of wine after a tough day at work or visiting a pub on a weekend afternoon and having a few. My worst nightmare is being asked on a night out as being sober is boring but yet I don't want to drink. My previous self used to love chilling out with a drink or going a bit crazy on a girls night but now I just don't get the appeal. I feel like a right old fuddy duddy and like I am missing out but yet don't want to drink alcohol. I hope this is making some sense and does anyone else feel the same?

Oh no. Not boring at all. I'm the same. I hate the whole drinking culture - you can still have fun without a drink!

No you are not boring but they are and they are unlikely to change. Alcohol is such a huge issue and the most common factor in illness, injury and crime. For whatever reason, a lot of people are unable to appreciate this. I honestly think you need to try for new friendships.

I'm 30 and don't tend to drink except very rare occasions
I don't think it makes us boring. I think it makes us sober while everyone else is drunk and generally unreasonable as drunk people are, so they say you're boring. The truth is not everyone needs alcohol to have a good time
I can go out with my friends and drink coca cola all night and still have fun
I enjoy spending time with them and I can make sure they all get home safe at the end.of the.night. not that I get invited out because all of my friends are also non.drinkers with chronic pain conditions!
Find yourself a good group of friends and your sobriety doesn't matter, they'll enjoy being around you regardless.

I’m mid 20s, I don’t drink at all. Perhaps others see it as boring but no, I don’t feel that way. I can still have fun whilst sipping from a soft drink. I’m also in an industry where you get and end-of-the-evening beer every. single. bloody. day, and I’ve survived so far with no social issues!

People who claim those around them not drinking are ‘boring’ or ‘ruining the vibe’ just like to feel important and justified for their drinking habits. Which aren’t wrong in themselves, but neither is tee-totalism.

Your friends are fine. You are fine. You are not boring. You just have a mismatch of interests with your current friends.

There is lots of fun to be had without booze and this is your chance to find it.

I find that in reality other people take very little notice of what other people are or aren’t drinking - if you want to go out & not drink alcohol but not particularly make an announcement about it I bet they’d barely notice.

If they do it’s their issue not yours and they’re out of order, but typically with my mates people don’t drink all the time and it’s not seen as a big deal at all.

Your friends are the ones who sound boring.

i don’t drink. I am boring too but that’s not because I don’t drink 😂

No. These social events are often boring, that’s why people drink. Weddings are fairly long and boring days, that’s why everyone drinks loads.

you need to find new things to do, as suffering through these occasions without alcohol is tough!

all the best.

Please don't knock being boring. Boring is VERY underrated. I flippin LOVE being boring!! Hot chocolate. Good book. TV blanket over knees. Boring bliss ahoy!

I am 52 and I don’t really drink now but I used to socially drink. Even when I was in my teens some people would drink on a night out and others wouldn’t, it has been this way throughout my adult life. I have had the odd night when I went out and decided not to drink for whatever reason, sometimes somebody is driving so doesn’t drink, Nobody has ever been accused of being boring or given an thought to whether somebody else is drinking or not.

You are either imagining it or are hanging around with some strange crowds I think.

Well, surely you remember the appeal of alcohol even if you have good reasons for no longer drinking? It’s not like some kind of ideological divide. And you sound as if you think your friends are boring, with all the ‘wine o’clock’ talk, not worried you’re boring.

I doubt they give it a thought. I was out with friends in a cocktail bar last night, and only noticed that one friend had been drinking mocktails all night when the itemised bill came at 1 am. My best friend hasn’t drunk for years for the same reason as you.

Drunks and semi drunks are very boring when you are sober. They may think they are being witty or insightful, but that’s just because they have lost their discrimination as well as the wit / wits.

TBH it all sounds rather immature . I think you need some new friends who can actually talk about something other than alcohol.

Unless new on here rhen you know full well that plenty of folks on here don’t like to drink.

your friends are living their life fine, as are you. Each to their own. You sound judgemental of their life styles.

I hardly drink now but I think people who drink a lot struggle a bit with non drinkers sometimes. The drinking culture in this country is so unhealthy. To some people non drinkers are boring, but to others it doesn't matter

The opposite is true also, non drinkers struggle with drinkers sometimes, I’ve seen threads on here where a glass of wine a night has people clutching their pearls and screaming alkie.

I kind of wonder if your friends are boring; I do drink and I like to have a drink with friends but I have just as much fun with them when we drink compared to when we don’t.

I enjoy gin and tonic. I’m still boring, though (at home in front of the telly for me, can’t be doing with nights out anymore)

@TheGoogleMum i think you’re right; I have a friend who barely drinks and in the past when I used to drink more than I do now I recognised that sometimes I was uncomfortable because her ability to not need a drink for social occasions/to relax put an uncomfortable light on my need to have a drink when I was with people and to relax. Glad to say that is a past need though.

I don't know how your friends are managing it - I'm mid 40s and I rarely drink during the week now, because I feel it the next day. I still like a G&T or glass of wine at the weekend but if I went out for a drunken night out, I would be genuinely unwell the next day. I salute their livers!

You can still go out if you want to, have a bbq, and not drink. Have you’re friends indicated that they find your approach boring, or are you putting that pressure on yourself? To be honest, if you’re having a good time, people don’t often really notice what others are drinking.

I very rarely drink, a couple of times a year maybe but I still enjoy a night out. I tend to have overpriced mocktails or just a coke but still have as much fun as the others.
But no I don’t think you’re boring unless you’re letting your fear of being boring stopping you from doing things.

Whether you drink or do not drink alcohol ..or Yak milk for that matter - has no baring on whether you are boring or not.

It is who you are with that determines that - if the people you are with are interested in what you are saying and you are interested in what they are saying then you will not find each other boring.

I think you are bored of your current friends - that does not make you or them them 'boring' people.

Although a lot of replies on this thread (and on any Mumsnet thread where drinking is mentioned) also indicate that a lot of people who don't drink are incredibly disdainful and judgemental of people who do, as if a few glasses of wine with mates in the evening is somehow equivalent to shooting up heroin on the school run.

OP, you are not boring. Neither are your friends. You've simply developed different interests.

@Rosebuud Absolutely no judgment, envy more like. Wish I could still enjoy a night out on the tiles with my pals but just don't have it in me anymore. Maybe I just used to hide behind the alcohol and now I don't have that I just don't seem to fit in.