I have a great group of friends, we are all in our 40s but met at school. There are 5 of us. Most of us live in different parts of the country. At least once a year we all meet up, but we ALWAYS have to go to X’s house. The other 3 have very small flats, so they can’t host. Me and X live in big houses, so can put everyone up.
I’m just sick of going to Xs house! I find it quite uncomfortable, she’s very hectic and makes quite a big deal of how exhausting it all is. Last time I found myself agreeing to make dinner for everyone as she said she was finding it a lot to host us all, and everyone was just ‘so grateful’ to her for being the host. It’s like we have to be extra nice to her just because she is the hostess and I’m finding it a bit draining on our friendship. The bed is also not that comfortable! Also, I find we have to fit around her life, if she has a last minute social thing she’s forgotten then we all have to tramp along like spare parts, and it’s awkward.
I have offered every year for people to stay at mine. I love hosting. But they say it’s too far. X says she can’t leave her kids, but they could stay, and I have kids too so it’s just as awkward. To be honest it’s not that much further to mine but I think it’s more like X always has taken the role of being our friendship’s ‘group leader’.
I’ve said this year I just don’t want to do it yet again, and there has been huge pressure on me to go. It’s a shame I do love our friendship, but I just don’t want to compromise every single time.