To not drop her off (part 2)

[cactusoil]

I posted a while back about arrangements regarding picking and dropping our daughter off between my house and her dads.

It was agreed we would split the drive (I drop her, he brings her back)

Yesterday we had agreed he would pick her up today, and I would collect her on Friday.

He rang me today, said 'your going to have to drop her because there's no fuel in the car'. He has no money as is out of work so it's up to his mum to fill the car.

I explained to him that would mean 3 trips this week there and back, plus picking my dad up from the airport on Friday, I cant afford petrol either at the moment. He said he would give me some money on Friday, but he already owes me money for his half of the school photos, and his mum owed me £20 for a bed she never collected for our daughter.

I feel like a bit of a mug. 'There is no petrol in the car and I'm struggling a bit would you mind dropping her today' would have been better than 'you'll have to drop her there's no fuel'.

Is it far?

How is he going to feed dd?

How far away is it?

How can he feed her?

Does he live with his mum? Why is it up to her to fill his car?

I agree with PP, if he can’t afford fuel, how will he afford food and toiletries for DD?

How far is it?

can you not link picking her up to picking your dad up?

Does he pay maintenance? He can apply for a variation where they deduct it from the maintenance payment if it's over a certain amount

Can’t he drop her off on Friday if he’ll have money then?

Tell him to get the money his mother owes you and buy petrol with it.

Otherwise it's a no.

Yes he can apply through the proper channels to get it taken into account. I would message back no sorry that doesn't work for me, I will make sure she is available for you to pick up at xpm as discussed.

Can you just say no can’t either due to no fuel and he will need to make other arrangements, otherwise he will see it as normal to ask you

I'd be saying no and keeping her.

His mum got all the things she needs while she's there, he is hopefully back in work soon so child payment will start up again, had nothing for 2 months and money is extremely tight.

I agreed to drop her today if he drops her on Friday, so we've basically just swapped driving days. It's a 40 min drive each way.

Surely he needs to get himself a fucking job then?

Name change fail? Anyway that sounds good as long as he sticks to it.

He can get the bus to yours, pick her up and get the bus back then, can't he?

Just stand firm or you will be the mug.

How would that help the OP? It simply deducts money from the maintenance she should be receiving? So she ends up paying for his fuel either way.

These variations are a massive bugbear of mine. Who is subsidising OP's fuel for her share of the driving? Oh, no one.