Would you take this school uniform

[Radio4andChocolate]

DD has lost various items of school uniform over the course of this year (undergoing assessment for ADHD, but that's another issue). All labelled with her name, so the school policy is that if it's found, she'll be contacted directly.

Unnamed lost uniform is put in a box and there's a list up on the intranet of what items are there. There have been some items that she's lost that have been on the list for several months, same size. I'm reasonably sure they're not hers, unless somehow the name label has come off or not been seen, which seems unlikely.

Now it's the end of term and any unclaimed unnamed uniform will be thrown out/donated to charity. WIBU to tell her to take a couple of the things she's missing, if they're still there at the end of the day? We'd still have a net loss, in that most of the things she's lost are not in the unnamed box, but we might be able to get a jumper or PE top.

I'm worried about blurring the line for her so she doesn't understand what's 'acceptable' stealing and what's just plain theft. But in my mind, something which hasn't been claimed since Christmas and is about to go in the bin should be up for grabs. AIBU?

I’d do it.

Yeah I suppose there's no harm on the last day of term of taking a few, especially if she's lost loads of them. 🤷‍♀️

Also, don't bother with name labels that'll fall off, put initials on the actual tag of the clothes with a permenant marker pen :) x

Tricky, you don't want to teach her to take things that are not yours especially as you want her to notice her things are labeled and these aren't. I would ask the teacher if it's ok.

At the end of each term our school puts all the unclaimed lost property on a table in the playground.

Parents are encouraged to pick up whatever they want before they get rid of all the leftover items (hopefully to some sort of clothes bank rather than the bin).

Perhaps you could suggest this to your school.

I would do it too, just wouldn't involve your DD.

why don't they just sell it for school funds - am sure there would be a lot of takers?

(but yes I'd take it in the situation you describe)

Just ask the school. Then it's not a problem. I never buy replacements for lost items, they give away unclaimed lost property/donated items all the time. I pay it back by handing in our outgrown items to be given away to others.

I think it's not unreasonable to ask whoever is in charge "My jumper I lost in January still isn't there - can I take this one instead?" Or if she's shy to ask, you ring/email in and ask whether that would be okay.

I asked my head of sixth form if my calculator had been handed in - he said no, but he'd got one which had been handed in two years ago, so I was welcome to have that. I got a free upgrade out of that!

Can't you contact the school directly and ask? Or perhaps offer a small donation for the second hand items. If the items are genuinely going in the bin the school will prob agree. Loads better than just helping yourself or asking dd to do it.
Ours donates unclaimed items to families struggling to buy uniform so they may not be literally binning the items

Ask for some items and don't involve your DD
It's going to be thrown otherwise and that's criminal in my mind when there's nothing wrong with it

Lost property would be sold off as second hand uniform at the end of term and after a push for people to reclaim it.

Perhaps offer a donation to the PTA?

I wouldn't get your daughter to deal with it though...

Good idea to contact the school, I will ring the office to ask.

I won't be there at pick up, she comes home by herself, so me doing it directly is not an option. But it would be a relief to be able to tell her I'd spoken to the office staff and they said it was ok (or not, but in that case there's no need to bring it up at all).

Sorry, I didn't realise it would revert to another username. The post above is mine.

If you feel bad then just say to the school, my dd has lost a jumper in this size, please could I have an unnamed one from lost property in that size as it’s likely someone else has ours.

At our school they keep unclaimed lost property for half a term and then it goes in the second hand uniform shed where the pta sell it (although I did find my daughter's named cardigan in lost property despite them saying named stuff gets returned).

Very weird of school to throw out school uniform when people obviously need it.

I don't know for sure if they actually bin it, maybe they give it to the PTA for resale, but that's not what the emails say. We've had increasingly insistent notices that it's going to be thrown away if not claimed today.

I think it might be better if you go in and ask for the items instead of sending DD. Especially as there's a chance she's neuro diverse, which might mean she'd struggle with the nuance of rule bending and gray areas.

DS's school has a rail in reception of uniform you can help yourself to. Parent’s are encouraged to bring anything outgrown in and also anything unnamed that has not been claimed within a month goes there. Might be worth suggesting the school do something similar, seems better then binning everything.

I have just asked and been told to take them before eg when items have been lost but similar ones are in the box at the end of term.

My ds is being assessed for ADHD and loses everything, so I know how you feel. It amazes me how working in a school seems to make you unable to see names on clothing, as I’ve found lots of clearly name uniform of his in the “unnamed” box before, and have also alerted other parents to named uniform being in there.