AIBU or is this the world we live in?

[Dogappreciationsociety]

Ive had to name change for this as this will out me. Sorry this is long.

The place that we currently live has a facebook group and generally its filled with the normal nonsence you see on these sorts of groups.

Since i have lived here (5 years) there has been a small dog who keeps escaping the owners house. The estate is surrounded by a duel carriageway and the owner actually lives facing the duel carriageway.

This dog gets out and runs all over the place. Across roads (making traffic stop) and in some cases out onto the duel carriageway.
This dog is also reactive and snarls at people if you try to approach. It has gone for a few people but never actually bitten.

So this dog escapes frequently (like 1 to 2 times a week).

It escaped again on Monday and someone posted on the facebook group about it wondering around.

I replied to effectively say this is getting ridiculous, the owner needs to take some responsibility and if anyone sees it to call 101 and report it (as advised on our local government website). Lots of other people chimed in saying yep we agree this is silly now.

The owner to my shock actually replied to say they are having issues with it escaping and they dont know how or why.

I got very cross and essentially told her she needs to be a responsible owner or rehome. If the dog ends up escaping and biting someone it could get destroyed. I never called her any names just laid into her about her irresponsible behaviour. I have a reactive dog myself and if this dog approached mine while he was on a lead mine would kill this dog.

Some people then piled in on me telling me i was rude and i dont need to be so pathetic about it. It was like id stepped into an alternative universe. The owner was clearly in the wrong, she lets her reactive dog escape repeatedly, yet i get told im rude for telling her shes irresponsible.
I got told i have no idea what the owner is going through (no i dont but i dont particularly care), i got told im pathetic for asking people to call 101. That the owner is doing her best (clearly she isnt) that i bet im wonderful and my kids/dogs have never escaped accidentally (no they havent as im a responsible owner of a reactive dog) plus when does it stop being an accident? I mean this has been going on for 5 years. I got called a Karen (ffs).

I looked one of the people up who was defending the owner and she herself is a dog lover and her facebook was full of memes and info on approaching reactive dogs and why dogs are on lead.

I mean have i gone into the twilight zone where its no longer acceptable to call people out on their irresponsible behaviour??

Ive reported her dog this morning to the dog team now i know where she lives as well. Fuck em. I hope the dog is removed and rehomed somewhere that actually gives a shit about him.

I agree with you but I don't think you needed to hammer home publicly about her being irresponsible. You had already said your piece, she replied, you laid into her. You should have left it at your original comment.

YABU for arguing with people you don’t even know on a Facebook post.
You “laid into her” and also told her your dog would kill her dog if approached?? It all just seems so unnecessary.
Stay off FB is the easy answer.

Nothing good comes from Facebook.

I think i was just more annoyed at her "were not sure how or why he gets out" comment.

I think i wouldnt have been so cross if she had come on and said weve been working on how to stop him getting out and open to getting ideas of others to help us. It was just the "we dunno how he gets out". Its like go and fucking well find out.

But i get your point and maybe i did take it to far.

Absolutely this one million %. Wouldn't join FB of you paid me.

I don't think you did anything wrong. Too many people see an accident waiting to happen but say absolutely nothing. If that dog bites a little kid you will have clear conscience. The dog could get run over too and sounds like if is escaping twice every week owner is very careless. Neither of my 2 dogs has ever escaped once because I have 8 foot wall around garden and keep gate locked.

You were not unreasonable in your first post but should not have responded to the owner directly, doublely so if you were cross.

It will never end well as it will descend into a friends back friends.

Once you start responding to random comments it becomes a time filler/ entertainment for some people.

That dog could cause a massive accident on the roads. She needs to be completely sorting her fence not just sitting there lamely saying “I don’t know how he gets out”

Had almost exactly the same thing on our local FB a month or so ago. Except instead of being told they were irresponsible etc etc the owner, who was aware of the issue and clearly struggling, received help from a few different people (dog expert from local rescue and a couple of people who helped them secure their garden and fencing). They were very grateful and the dog is now safe………

You’re not wrong with anything you said. The owners are responsible for the dog getting out and should stop it happening. The dog could bite someone, even cause a car accident where someone is seriously hurt. Do you feel you were a bit blunt though? Or some people deliberately stiring things?

well I don't think you were unreasonable exactly but I am not sure what good your post would do if they are as irresponsible and silly as you think they are....I tend to stay out of stuff like that, not because I think its the world we live in but because I have never ever seen it do any good. but yes I would report to dog warden but privately.

You are not wrong but you handled it very badly
where did you think laying into the owner publicly would leave to after they had explained?

This sort of behaviour is becoming typical on sm its all the false "be kind" shit. You can't call out irresponsible/dangerous behaviour because its mean yet its OK to abuse you on mass as they are "being kind" to your "victim" 🤨
As for the dog I feel your pain my shitty next-door neighbour has a shitzoo lapasatsu (sp) cross that used to run away all the time and the owners wouldn't do anything about it, nor would the dog warden. This continued until it came into my garden where my Huskie was shadebathing and stupidly went for her as expected it came off worse as my Huskie picked it up and basically chucked it at the shared fence (just to say my Huskie didn't bite/puncture it just held it sort of like a puppy). Both the neighbour and I came running due to the noise. Neighbour went off on 1 and wouldn't accept that it was there fault for not securing their dog and reported my "dangerous dog" for attacking hers in my own garden 🤣
Thankfully I had it all on cctv so when the police and dog warden turned up at my door I showed them the footage and they asked if I wanted to take it further. As I'm not a dick I didn't this time but would if it happened again. Funnily enough after the police left her house the dog has been kept in her garden by use of a long lead tied to their washing pole.
Some idiots shouldn't be allowed to be dog owners.

You did handle it badly and you were rude so really lost the moral high ground there

I think you are entitled to be rude. Once is an accident. Repeatedly having her dog escape is neglect! The stupid twat could cause a serious road traffic accident or injury to a child if it panics and bites.
You aren't wrong to lay into her over it and maybe she will be more careful now she's had someone tell her the truth.

No point ever getting involved in these sort of discussions. There are always goady gits who love to get into a Facebook bun fight just for the sake of it.

Of course they were in the wrong with the dog being let out but we all have to live together and publicly shaming neighbours on fb never goes well (similar happened in our fb group recently and it just gets ugly really fast). probably just anonymous report the loose dog to the dog warden when it happens and don't get into any spats

You weren’t wrong but social media is a cesspit. So is MN come to think of it.
If the owners won’t do anything the dog should be taken away quite frankly

YANBU to worry about the dog and the people it might meet. A spat on SM is not the way to go though - you’ll probably find that personal attacks are not allowed on the group and your response does seem to be particularly vocal and directed to one person.

It's amazing how often I see the same dogs being found or reported as escaped on my towns Facebook page. And yes, if anyone dares say the owner is being irresponsible then the poster is piled on. It is irresponsible to let your dog constantly escape. They'd be the first to moan and complain about cars mowing them down, yet they don't even do the basics to keep them safe.

One guy posted multiple times about 2 of his dogs escaping. Last time they did they weren't found again. Again, lots of "be kind" posters crowing on about how it wasn't his fault, his poor kids had lost their dogs etc. Hopefully the dogs found their way to a better home, rather than anything awful happening to them.

It would have been more helpful to offer her some advice rather than criticising her as a bad dog owner publicly on fb…
Is he getting out through a hole in a fence, then only let him out on lead until it’s fixed. If the dogs aggressive, point her in the direction of a dog behaviourist… There was probably a better way you could have gone about it.

Your original point was fine but laying in to her afterwards was unnecessary and rude

If your dog is so aggressive that another dog approaching it would mean it would kill that dog then I don’t think you’re a particularly good dog owner either

^ or pretty much any social media including here at times. As soon as you post something someone disagrees with you are "rude".

Agree that arguing on Facebook is pointless but you're right about her

The dog running onto a dual carriageway could cause a massive accident if someone swerves into another lane to avoid hitting the dog

yes if it’s genuinely happening that regularly next to a dual carriageway it sounds like she isn’t doing everything she can. It is a bit unfair to suggest a dog escaping is in itself irresponsible - accidents do happen. But if she hasn’t started putting in at least semi effective management by now it is concerning.

however, if you’re going to be so aggressively judgey about strangers’ dog care on social media, you might also have to acknowledge that if your reactive dog is likely to get aggressive with approaching animals/people it should probably be muzzled (I also have a reactive dog who sounds much less reactive than yours, but he is always muzzled in public to protect both him and others). So it goes both ways!