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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is my child too young to go on a residential trip?

87 replies

feelgoodvibes · 05/07/2022 21:36

My son is in year three and due to go on a 2 night trip with his school in two weeks. I agreed to this a couple of months back and paid for it - around £250. Me and his dad were not on talking terms back then so I told him about the trip and that DS would be going and he said he thought DS was too young and wasn't happy with it- we had no contact after that so I decided to proceed with trip as I think DS would enjoy and benefit from this trip. They will be doing adventure activities such as rafting and climbing, will have four teachers supervising.

I spoke to a friend who is also a father and he said he thought year 3 was too young also and that's made me question it, as I originally thought his dad said no out of spite and because he didn't want to pay towards the trip - he's managed to get out of paying maintenance for the last year.

DS is excited about the trip and having fun with some of his friends.

What's your verdict? Would you allow your 8 year old on a residential?

OP posts:

Threetulips · 06/07/2022 23:14

Assume all the other 8 year olds are going? So all the other parents think it’s fine.

Goldencarp · 06/07/2022 23:15

Most kids have residential offered in year 3. My daughter didn’t go as she didn’t want to but went year 4,5 and 6. My son went in year 3, 4, 5 and 6.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 07/07/2022 04:16

Do most kids really have residential trips every year? Mine just get a camping trip in Yr6...

Toddlerteaplease · 07/07/2022 04:45

I went on Brownie pack holiday at 7. Broke my ankle the first night. But other than that I enjoyed the time I had. Didn't go away again till year five and was really homesick. Wish I'd gone away younger to get used to it.

InvincibleInvisibility · 07/07/2022 07:21

At 7 years old, my highly anxious, adhd, dyspraxic and migraine-sufferer (for context) DS went for 4 nights. He had a total blast.

He did get a migraine (a let down one from all the stress he had before going) but the teacher gave him his meds and sat with him til he fell asleep that night. After that he was fine.

He is now 11 and it's still the highlight of his school years.

TheNoodlesIncident · 07/07/2022 07:28

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 07/07/2022 04:16

Do most kids really have residential trips every year? Mine just get a camping trip in Yr6...

I was thinking that, means the teachers will be away on many residential trips each year if each school year does one! Our junior school did one in Y3 and one in Y6, infants didn't do any at all. The Y3 one was a bit shorter and still local, the Y6 one was a two hour coach drive away and Mon-Fri.

As these trips cost a few hundred pounds a lot of parents need to time to pay in instalments and I don't think they would be able to afford one every year? Two trips a few years apart isn't so bad as you can try to budget for them if you know your child would like to go on them. (I never got to go on the residential trip in primary as we couldn't afford it and schools didn't care about kids missing out in the 70s)

Highfivemum · 07/07/2022 08:01

You know your child better than anyone. Though from an outside it sounds like it is other peoples opinions that are making you doubt yourself. Your DC is happy and looking forward to it. You were happy to say yes that to me is ur answer. He will love it. If there is a problem the school will call you.

oblada · 07/07/2022 08:05

I went on week long residential and even 2 weeks long residentials from age 5 onwards... Of course an 8yrs old can go on a school residential for 2 nights!!
My girls are going on a 5 days horse riding residential in a couple of weeks, they are yr 3 and yr 5 (though i appreciate the yr3 will have her older sibling with her).

SteelCicada · 07/07/2022 11:59

My dd got a 1-night residential in Y2 (still aged 6) and 2 nights in y4, was very excited, and had a great time at both. You and your son are both comfortable with what's on offer -- I think that's all you need to know.

hangrylady · 07/07/2022 12:40

8 is absolutely fine.

hangrylady · 07/07/2022 12:42

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 07/07/2022 04:16

Do most kids really have residential trips every year? Mine just get a camping trip in Yr6...

Mine have except during covid. Just at a state primary not private school.

scissorsandsellotape · 07/07/2022 12:48

I went away to boarding school at age 8
Your dc will be fine for 2 nights

Svara · 07/07/2022 12:49

DS went on a four night one where he knew no one at 7 (school holiday government subsidised camp for age 7 to 12). Cub Scout camps were also from 7, school one was year 5.

steppemum · 07/07/2022 12:57

I run a summer camp for a specific thing and it is open to age 6-12.
It is from Mon-Fri

I usually only get 6 year olds if they are with siblings, but they are fine and love it.

It really is down to your child though, last year I had a 12 year old who really really struggled with being away form home for 4 nights, she phoned mum every night and had a tearful homesick moment every day.
I phoned mum on that first evening and mum said - at 12 she has to learn that she is fine for a day or two, tough love, I'm not coming to get her!

And on the last day, her summary of the week was that it was great and she had loved it and was glad she pushed through the hard moments.

emmathedilemma · 07/07/2022 13:06

On the basis of having been a Cub Leader and taken kids away to camp for the weekend without parents I'd say that 99% of them will be just fine and have a blast. There's always one that's a bit homesick and might want to go home but they often stay and get it over it. I can only think of one who did actually go home and he came back the next day to take part in the activities once he'd had a night in his own bed (to be fair, that would be my ideal too rather than sleeping in a cold damp tent and being woken up at 5:30am!)

Dixiechickonhols · 07/07/2022 13:07

You know your son. If he’s happy to go send him. It’s an organised school trip and his peers will be going. Mine had an overnight as a rainbow age 5 then brownie camp at 7.
I do know of a dad who took his ex to court to try and stop her sending her dc on a trip (Court fully sided with her but it cost her ££ - a residential abroad with a well known youth organisation was deemed appropriate)

Dixiechickonhols · 07/07/2022 13:08

PGL take from age 8 I think and you can sign them up for that not knowing anyone. So a school trip where he knows people is an easier first trip than that.

darkdaysareover · 07/07/2022 13:12

mizzo · 05/07/2022 21:44

Surely the fact the school is running the trip for his age group would suggest he's not too young.

That is a question for the parents, not the school. When you drop your DC off at at school they are still your DC and you know them best. It really worries me, this attitude of school knows best. They really don't. Please advocate for your children and if you feel they are not ready, stand up for them and say so!

Mojoj · 07/07/2022 13:23

Absolutely. It's how you raise resilient, confident children. He'll love it!

Threetulips · 07/07/2022 13:32

Please advocate for your children and if you feel they are not ready, stand up for them and say so!

Bit what about all the helicopter over anxious parents who’s kids aren’t allowed to do anything?

hangrylady · 07/07/2022 14:01

Threetulips · 07/07/2022 13:32

Please advocate for your children and if you feel they are not ready, stand up for them and say so!

Bit what about all the helicopter over anxious parents who’s kids aren’t allowed to do anything?

My son in year 5 has a friend who is not allowed to walk to school with his friends, or go to the park without an adult. We live in a village and this boy is a 2 minute walk from both school and the park (no busy roads), and has to go with his nan and little sister while all his friends go together. I feel so sorry for the boy, its embarrassing for him.

Coffeaddict · 07/07/2022 14:12

I was a scout leader for years cubs ( aged 8) would go away for summer camp for a whole week ofter as well as a few pther weekends dotted around the year.
Even bevers ( from age 6) would have overnights away so I would say he will be fine.

riesenrad · 07/07/2022 14:33

At ds' school they did a 2 night trip in year 4 and a 4 night trip in year 6. I actually did think the first trip was a little early but he loved the trip in Y6. All kids are different. I didn't go anywhere until I was 10, and then I did a brownie trip and a school trip and was homesick on both. I was a mummy's girl!

Bagpuss2022 · 07/07/2022 14:43

Where are all these schools that do y2 residentials? My 3 DC have gone to many schools being ex forces children and not one residential
however it’s not the age it’s the individual child two of mine would of been fine at 8 one definitely wouldn’t and still doesn’t like being away from home and he’s 18!

hope he has a blast OP and enjoy the break

Marmite27 · 07/07/2022 14:46

My children have been away (only one night) with Rainbows for one night, and we’re doing Brownie camps at 7.

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