To think it's hard to LTB?

[Mememene]

I notice that a lot of the advice on here is along the lines of leave him, I wouldn't put up with that etc. etc.

The advice I got was to stay away after I had LTB and it was the right advice BUT...........

Does anyone else find it really hard to leave someone, that common sense dictates is really bad for them, has next to nothing to offer them but they love them, or at least have feelings for them still.

Perhaps it's just that you want back what you once had that made you fall in love with them in the first place, even if it's long gone?

Perhaps it's like having a boil on your arse and if it suddenly disappeared you'd miss that too?

I've read and reread the responses as they are not based on my emotions but on common sense. They do help to keep me strong and I'm glad of them.

Im keeping busy, going on the occasional date, seeing friends, working, planning a holiday and looking at new stuff to do.

But do others find it hard to let go even though they know it's the right thing.

Or AIBU in feeling this way?

It's easy to advise another person (especially complete strangers on a forum) to end a bad relationship. They don't have to deal with the consequences such as dealing with children, the family home, money and the change in social dynamic of the family and you as an individual. These are not small matters, but seem to be easily dismissed when you are told to LTB (not always with obvious justification).

When it is your own bad relationship, it's harder to take what might have been your own advice to others. This is particularly the case if you still believe putting up with his bastard ways is easier than the consequences of leaving him. I think this is the reason the majority of people stay in bad relationships.

I had a similar experience with my first husband. The last few years of our marriage were unhappy, he was alcoholic, selfish and unreliable. I buried my head in the sand, because he was a good provider and we had a young baby and home I could not have afforded on my own.

I thought everything would be OK if I cut him some slack and didn't complain. He then started an affair with another woman. He went backwards and forwards between us. I was so desperate not to lose him and my home, or to be a single parent, that I put up with this shit for 18 months in the hope he would eventually come back to me for good. He didn't, he eventually left me for her and they are now married.

I was devastated and for a long time still hoped he would come back to me.

I like your "boil on the arse" analogy. A similar one was put to me by a friend when I was at my lowest point. She said my ex-husband was like a gangrenous leg. Although it was desperately painful and I knew it would eventually destroy me, I couldn't bear to lose a leg. It was then I realised I needed to "amputate the leg". That the pain would continue for a while, but I would eventually recover - albeit with a different life - if I let him go.

It wasn't easy, but it was the best thing to do. My only regret was that I didn't do it sooner.