To ask why I wasn't invited?

[SW5678]

A friend of nearly 20 years (grew up together, high school together etc) had a first birthday party for her DS at the weekend and didn't invite me or my 10 month old DD. I found out about the party after seeing photos on social media. I wouldn't be upset if it was just a family thing but mutual friends attended with their babies. As far as I'm aware there's been no falling out and I'm at a loss as to why we were excluded when we have been close friends for years. This isn't someone who I text once a year, it's someone who's been a big part of my life for so long.
So my AIBU, should I ask why and explain I'm upset at being left out? I don't want to leave things to bubble over. Or do I just leave it?

I’d ask too, there might be an explanation and if there isn’t then you know where you stand.

something similar happened to me a few years ago - except it was a baby shower for a close friend.

I felt so stupid - I had given her an expensive travel cot that I had never used and had dropped it to her house the day before the big event. I was the only one in our friendship group not invited.

I took a big step back and while I am polite to her I no longer consider her a friend.

these things really hurt - I do sympathise

Jowasace I read what you friend did to you. I am sure you supported her plenty of times including when her marriage broke up. When your kids were young is may not have been possible to see each other much face to face but she knew that you were just a phone call away.
It was one thing not inviting you to the baby shower but to do the same for the chrisning was poor form. If you and her had a major argument I could understand her not wanting to be their.
My feeling is that you were good enough to be in her life until she met her 2nd husband and after that she might have just wanted her new friends their who may not have known about the breakup of her 1st marriage. Some people just want to move on with life and don't want people who were there in the bad times or seen them at their worse. I know people who have re written their past or have relatives they don't want people to know about so the move on and are very economical with the truth.

My feeling is that your ex friend has shown her true colours to people after a few months. Being honest people don't want to hang around with some one who is just using them.
Then some people are just happy to use people until what in their eyes is a better class of friend - some one with a good job, money or some one to help them or their family move up in the world.

As the saying goes don't dump your friends on the way up and then expect them to be their on the way down for you.

If you're close then you need to ask. What did she say when you've talked about the upcoming birthday and what her plans were?

If you are that close, then just ask.
But I assume it would be that the other Mums were from a group that all do things together.... an anti natal group that kept in touch....or all the Mums that go to {insert particular class} .....or the Mums from toddler group or whatever.

These things really hurt , and to be honest there is no excuse from her part .

I feel you need to ask her as you won’t feel the same about the friendship going forward so nothing to lose .

Good point about wrong email addresses.

I thought I wasn't invited to my brother's birthday party but his wife got my email address wrong.
I found out when my mum asked me if I had RSVP'd.

Could be an innocent explanation or she just doesn’t value your friendship the same way. Definitely ask her or say I say the pictures of the party and see what the reaction is?