Friends with my ex. We dated for a few months, but ended as he didn’t want to commit fully into a relationship and we didn’t really date - spent fine watching tv on his schedule when he was free. This was a few years ago.
we stayed in touch sporadically, but we didn’t really connect properly until December 2020. Admittedly both single during lockdowns we did hook up a few times. However he had a life event and struggled with mental illness. Our dynamic ended up with me supporting him - sex left the relationship.
we got to know each other better and became great friends. This dynamic suited better. We became close and spent lots of time together. Doing lots of things and he made room for me - which he didn’t do when we dated. Fast forward to now and the dynamics shifted to not close friends.
i met my wonderful partner 6 months ago. He is amazing and I am really happy. We do lots of things together and have holidays and activities planned. My friend started dating a girl 2 months ago and is doing to her what he did to me - no proper dates, saying he can’t commit as not in right head space etc. I have said that’s rubbish as the girl is clearly into him and is really nice and good for him. He also likes her, but won’t let his guard down.
Told him not to lead her on and to not do to do her what he did to me. He denied he said that to me and we were both agreement in what out relationship was. I have the messages to prove he said he didn’t want a relationship. friend got annoyed and told me to stop bringing up the past.
my friend is now not texting or making an effort as much. Asked him why and he said I don’t have time as I need to be with my boyfriend. I know dynamics shift and in a relationship you naturally see less of your friends, but I make time for them and want to see my friends - just now arranging a day instead of our usual ransom dropping in for a chat. He has met my boyfriend few times and they get along fine. My boyfriend doesn’t mind if he drops in for a coffee whilst he is here as he wants to get ti know my friends.
I am disappointed as we had an honest chat a year ago about a relationship with each other and even though we get on, we agreed we get on much better as friends and the attraction has gone.
It seems now I have a boyfriend he wants nothing to do with me. Or since he has started dating. how do I get my friend back? I miss him.