My Dad has upset me

[kjrgtnht]

My Dad last week has said this comment to me:

"You went through a phase a child when you was very difficult, if I wasn't your Dad I would have left the house and moved on."

I am quite hurt by what my Dad said.

To be honest I don't think IABU to be hurt by what my Dad has said.

What was the phase? TBH all kids can behave in ways that can be really hard

What behaviour was your dad referring to? Children can be very difficult, it's hard to know whether you should be hurt or not without more context. However without context yes it sounds hurtful.

I think it depends on context and why this was said.

but also many people have felt like this. Sometimes it’s a fleeting thought that you push away, because you are their parent and it’s your job to stick out:

if you are upset, you are upset. That’s your feelings on the situation, which you are entitled to. But that doesn’t mean he was wrong to say it, imo.

So what is your AIBU that you dont think you are being unreasonable about?
What do you want from this thread?

I think you are being over-sensitive. He is your Dad and he didn't leave you.
Lots of mums on here complain about difficult phases their children are going through.

Depends on context and previous conversations.

If he's always like this or trying to hurt you move on with less of him in your life

If it's a one off comment it's probably fair.

How old are you each? Do you have kids?

I was very close to driving my daughter to her dads 100 miles away the other week. If it wouldn't have been so unsafe to drive with a wilfully tantruming child I would have she's 9 😬 she knows what she's doing.

An hour later all was better again but Jesus it's hard.

I don't think it's very nice. I have found my children difficult at times but I don't think I'd ever say that to them

A lot of parents feel like this at times. But it’s unconditional love. I felt like walking out sometimes. It’s tough being a parent. Are you one?

It depends on how bad your behaviour was. I don't see why we can't be honest about how difficult raising children can be. There's challenges during the teen years that didn't exist a few generations back. Parents are just expected to cope through it all.

Sounds like the sort of thing lots of parents would say while reminiscing about their kids’ difficult years. I doubt he meant it literally. I’d laugh if my dad said that to me.

Be upset if you want, though. You do seem quite keen to be.

Oh fgs. Why ask if you don’t think you’re being unreasonable?!
Hes your dad. He obviously loves you and didn’t leave. You were a pain in the arse for a time, as most kids are. You’re being over sensitive and unreasonable.

@ManateeFair agree 100%! You speak sense!!

I also wonder whether there is a massive back story here, but am not going to guess who IBU

Were you a right little shit OP?
or is it that you were a perfectly normal child, and he couldn’t really cope with being a parent, and is starting another round of blaming you for his own inadequacy?

Tell us more?

I disagree.

I think most parents (in public) are prepared to own their own failings. They use phrases like “I found it so hard” rather than “I would have left”

Or you could turn it around that even though your behaviour was challenging he loved you unconditionally and never gave up on you.