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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

..to ask for help with 'easily distracted' DS?

21 replies

screamernumber2 · 04/07/2022 21:32

DS end of term parents evening, same message over and over....easily distracted, could try harder, needs to concentrate more, constantly distracted....

I have no idea how to help him! He is doing fine but could be doing a whole lot better if he could concentrate for five minutes.

Does anyone have any tips or books I can read to help me help my distracted 6 year old DS? His schooling will be affected unless he can overcome this 😕

thanks!

OP posts:

Meatshake · 04/07/2022 21:36

As it's bad enough to be commented on so strongly are there any ADHD concerns? It's not all hyperactivity, there's an innatentive subtype which presents as more aloof/daydreamy and can be much harder to spot. My reception age daughter is heading towards diagnosis.

cansu · 04/07/2022 21:38

I suppose you should have a think about how much you tolerate him interrupting etc at home. Does he sit and read. Is he able to concentrate to produce something. Is he ever expected to wait or to keep working on something? In many ways he is just six and has plenty of time to learn to be more mature. That said, it is certainly true that kids who listen and get on with their work tend to learn more.

HauntingScream · 04/07/2022 21:48

My ds is similar. He's in secondary school and he's always getting told off and I get constant emails about his distracted behaviour.
He's not distracted enough for a diagnosis so I've looked at diet, make sure he exercises regularly, I've started him on fish oil (I read somewhere that it can help so worth trying) and don't allow Xbox in school days or too much time on screens as I know that affects him.
Tv is ok as he actually needs focus to follow a plot line and remember characters.
He's doing ok study wise as I make sure he prepares for exams well and keeps up with homework and reading.
I don't know what more I can do but I think all that is helping.

Original poster

screamernumber2 · 04/07/2022 22:12

Thank you all. A bit mixed.

He can concentrate for hours building adult lego and he happily sits and reads a short book but other than that, he never sits still. He is exercised constantly and screens (other than 30minutes of TV) are not permitted at all in our home as he has too much energy to be sitting in front of a screen.

@cansu Interesting questions. He does constantly talk over and interrupt. It doesn't get him anywhere as we pull him up every single time (yes, it's fun in our house) but he still does it.

Someone must have written a book somewhere with tips to help distracted young boys to concentrate !

OP posts:

ADarknessOfDragons · 04/07/2022 22:21

I do think I'd wonder about ADHD. We're also waiting for assessment- my DC is older- and while they can concentrate on preferred activities, like your DS's lego, adult directed tasks is another matter.

My DC has always been reminded about interrupting etc yet still had a target on IEP in Y5 about putting her hand up before speaking in class. Very academic. She'd have been told hundreds of times. Can't override that impulsivity mostly! More inattentive type for her though also always fidgeting (and did also get ASC diagnosis in Y5).

While you do need to support your DC to be able to function well in class and at home, I am now more sensitive to being careful they don't learn they're constantly "wrong" (my DC is currently out of school, very anxious, low self esteem, withdrawn from most things- i have 2 other DC who are doing really well at school and clubs etc which actually makes it harder for DD).

ruthsdress · 04/07/2022 22:27

Don't tell him off and please research ADHD and pursue a private assessment if you can afford it. He sounds just like my son was at 6 and it's taken years to repair the damage caused by him being told he was lazy/naughty/needed to try harder. His teachers obviously have a good benchmark of what's "normal" for a 6 year old and if they're calling it out as a problem then it suggests something more could be at play. Good luck.

Phineyj · 04/07/2022 22:47

You should probably have him assessed for ADHD, but in the meantime there's a book called Smart But Scattered that's helpful.

carefullycourageous · 04/07/2022 22:52

How old is he?

Yes get him checked out if you really have concern but also lack of concentration is very common in young children and school can make a big fuss over something many kids grow out of soon enough.

Also it can be sign that the teaching is poor, so consider that too.

My message is do not assume there is omething wrong with your child, although do not rule it out either.

freesiafrenzy · 04/07/2022 22:58

My son is exactly the same and the same age. We have just spoken to the gp re having him assessed.

carefullycourageous · 04/07/2022 23:02

Oh sorry I missed that they are six. That is really very young for school to be making such a lot of comments, many 6yos are poor with concentration. Either the school is noticing something specific/non-standard that needs attention (good) or school is not dealing with normal 6yo behaviour (bad)!

Arthursmom · 04/07/2022 23:13

Could he be bored? 6 is so young to be sat at a desk. Is it possible he's a practical / hands on learner? X

LittleOwl153 · 04/07/2022 23:31

Following recent diagnoses for DD I'd support others suggestion in the adhd front but also ask school to consider dyslexia - he might be fab at reading (dd was/is very strong reader) but his short term memory might be an issue- hence the flitting from one to another.

redwaterbottle · 04/07/2022 23:35

Smart but scattered kids is a great book

NrlySp · 04/07/2022 23:44

Adhd assessment. Look up something called hyper focus - which could be the Lego.

Audioslaw · 05/07/2022 00:10

Combined type ADHD

Feetache · 05/07/2022 00:15

My DD has ADHD. Mild but defo there. Research. Get assessed

Oriunda · 05/07/2022 00:19

My son is dyslexic. He has particular issues with short term memory and thus gets very easily distracted. His annual reports make.me want to cry.

I’d suggest you ask if he can be sat in the front row at school. It will help him to stay focussed.

Original poster

screamernumber2 · 05/07/2022 06:25

Lots of reading for me to do today. Thank you all. Have ordered the book also. Best of luck with the challenges your DC are facing.

OP posts:

freesiafrenzy · 05/07/2022 16:34

Ds has been in trouble at school today. Sent to work in the class below him and he left to use the toilet without asking.
Is there anything I can be saying to school about support before any assessment takes place?

Threetulips · 05/07/2022 16:39

I’d also look at dyslexia -

Short term memory
lacks focus
Time keeping
Remembering things
losing things
poor hand writing
poor spelling
poor reading skills

*The class teacher has no Idea about dyslexia and hasn’t been trained - just so you know!! All those traits are dyslexic traits and she should be able to spot a dyslexic a mile away.

MercurialMonday · 05/07/2022 16:42

DS at 6 was the same - there were still some hearing issues on top or working memory problems.

We did a lot of home support with basics - reading, writing, handwriting, maths - getting him caught up and it slowly improved with age.

I think as he became rock solid in the basics - less worry with spelling punctuation as it got more automated- or had an idea with the maths - he had more coping capacity.

I'd check hearing and sight checked if possible and then rule out other possible causes pp have suggested.

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