To think I’m a lost cause (alcohol)

[Jayne1235]

I’m so bloody ashamed. I’m drinking 4-5 nights a week, between 1.5 to 2 bottles of wine each time. I know I am being ridiculously unreasonable. But I feel like a lost cause. Can’t seem to stop

No such thing as a lost cause.

What have you tried? How is your life generally?

You’re not a lost cause. Writing on here is a first step. You can make this change.

Alan Carr Easy Way to stop drinking. A good book to start with.

Listen to the ‘Home’ podcasts with Holly and Laura.

There are tonnes of podcasts and online groups about sobriety and you don’t have to quit before you start investigating them.

Start absorbing the stories and voices of those who once thought it impossible but managed to quit and are absolutely thriving. And go from there. No self hatred - alcohol is so insidious. Support yourself.

My DSD's mother was similar and it spiralled. She died of alcohol-related liver disease at the age of 43. Please seek help - alcohol can have serious health consequences as I am sure you know.

I found focusing on the money helped me.

I know everyone's different and everyone has their own motivators but I really shocked myself when I added up what I'd spent on wine over a period of a few months.
It was about £1,000 in 4 months.

I was spending about a tenner a day on 2 bottles of wine, apart from 1-2 days here and there.

You might find it helpful to be honest, add it all up and think how useful that money could be and what you could do with it.

It gives you something to look forward to if you think "I saved X amount by not buying wine so why don't I treat myself to Y".

You're not a lost cause. I came back from it.

It took a couple of rock bottoms, ultimatums, being suicidal with hangovers and the thought of losing my home and husband, but I'm ok now.

Don't have booze in the house. Bin the hidden stash too. If you're on 4-5 nights a week you might be able to fix it.

No such thing as a lost cause. Ring up your local substance misuse support, learn other ways of coping whilst gradually reducing (in not an expert but i think if you've been at that pace a while then cold turkey isn't advised). Then have a think about what you want in life and reprioritise. Sometimes therapy can help too.

What do you do with your evenings apart from drink - I would doze in front of the tele, now I potter in the garden, read a book, sew, do a jigsaw - it's such a waste spending hours in a boozy haze. Setting myself something to do to look forward to helped. Also if you can miss the first glass (eat some chocolate, do some exercise, treat yourself)....... the rest of the evening is relatively much easier ime

You've written on here- absolutely not a lost cause. Look up AA meets and just see if you can go to one within the next few days whilst you still have what motivation made you post on here. I'm cheering you on OP.

I was drinking vodka for breakfast. Topping up all day. Cocktail cans in the toilets at work. I had a drinking problem for about 20 years and at least 4 were close to rock bottom… and now I’m over 3 years sober.
I feel immeasurably better, healthier, wealthier and happier.
we can all do it. It’s tough and it will be hard, but you can change if you want to. Take it one day at a time. Try AA or smart recovery. Try talking to people. Try anything you have to… it’s so worth it xxx

You’re not a lost cause.

What’s different on the days you don’t drink? Is there something from those days you can apply to the other days to make it easier not to drink?

This might be bad advice but it helped me. Instead of alcohol drink CBD tea (it's legal and found in health stores) it really relaxes ..and gives you a vice

Try quit-lit

Try SMART recovery

Try Antabuse

Try talking therapy. CBT.

Try AA

Not all of those work for everyone, it's a case of figuring out what works for you.

Me too, I buy multiple packs of Trip cans from Holland & Barrett. They're really nice.