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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What would you think of this dating app response?

24 replies

Caribou1 · 04/07/2022 19:24

It was somebody who seemed cool, and then at one point said, "Btw I've got kids, so I suppose you're gonna be put off by me now."
In honesty, I didn't want to date someone who had kids.
I said that thanks for letting me know and it wasn't what I was looking for sorry but it definitely wouldn't put people off and he shouldn't worry about that.
This seemed to infuriate him, he said, "Well thanks for your patronising response, and don't worry, I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding someone with your manly/boy looks!!"

I just blocked him, it was a lucky escape and said way more about him, there was no need to be so nasty.
I didn't mean to sound patronising, he just seemed certain that women wouldn't want to date someone with kids, but it's not true for everyone

OP posts:

MsChatterbox · 04/07/2022 19:25

I would think thank God I didn't pursue him! You didn't do anything wrong.

Original poster

Caribou1 · 04/07/2022 19:26

I have short hair..it's just such a pathetic and predictable insult about how women are only 'feminine' with longer hair

OP posts:

MsChatterbox · 04/07/2022 19:27

He was interested in you with short hair until you rejected. So he was just looking for an insult!

TreePoser · 04/07/2022 19:29

Pathetic, he was worried you'd be put off 30 seconds earlier, then suddenly ''good luck to you looking like a boy''.

Original poster

Caribou1 · 04/07/2022 19:29

That's very true, why bother in the first place if I were so 'manly' haha

OP posts:

Loveduck80 · 04/07/2022 19:29

Jesus 🙈 well he must of fancied you short hair or not as he seemed put out. It jusr sounded like a spiteful jab on his part which is pitiful and extremely childish.

HarryPopper · 04/07/2022 19:30

So you hadn't put anything on your profile to say you prefer single childless people and you haven't in the conversation said something like you prefer childless? He just assumed you'd be put off off the bat? Well that was a lucky guess if so...and a lucky escape!
I think you did sound patronising a bit and it's simply not true that it definitely wouldn't put people off, it has and does put you off.
It's good you found out what he's like early on. Report/block him.

Original poster

Caribou1 · 04/07/2022 19:30

If he has this attitude then he won't get many dates!

OP posts:

Furrbabymama1987 · 04/07/2022 19:30

There's loads of weirdos all over the Internet. I'm sure you don't look like a boy. He's got a chip on his shoulder and has used the immature way to bring a woman down by criticising her appearance. Don't let him get you down.

Icepinkeskimo · 04/07/2022 19:30

You had a lucky escape OP, total overreaction on his part, and pathetic name calling.
he’s not cool he’s just a tool!

Original poster

Caribou1 · 04/07/2022 19:31

It was within the first 3 messages to be fair, so hadn't really come up.
Maybe it was a bit patronising but he seemed so down to assume everyone would be put off as it's not true

OP posts:

Original poster

Caribou1 · 04/07/2022 19:32

But yeah, criticising someone's appearance is so immature and low.

OP posts:

FOJN · 04/07/2022 19:32

You're right it is so pathetic and predictable. Why do some men have to behave like children when they don't get their own way.

Loveduck80 · 04/07/2022 19:33

I've had some horrible comments and I'm not bragging but I know I look good and defo don't need validation from men. Just laugh at him OP. I'm sure you're gorgeous 😘😘

Azandme · 04/07/2022 19:35

"It's putting ME off, but it won't put people off." Um? 🙄

You contradicted your point and you did come across as a bit patronising in the process.

That doesn't justify him calling you names, but maybe next time think about what you're saying.

Heroicallyl0st · 04/07/2022 19:37

Sounds like he was hurt (not your problem!) and dealt with it by retaliating/lashing out. Very childish. There are much better men out there!

Heroicallyl0st · 04/07/2022 19:38

Azandme · 04/07/2022 19:35

"It's putting ME off, but it won't put people off." Um? 🙄

You contradicted your point and you did come across as a bit patronising in the process.

That doesn't justify him calling you names, but maybe next time think about what you're saying.

clumsily worded maybe but I think the sentiment comes across - he just chose to take it in the wrong way

Mabelface · 04/07/2022 19:38

Just his comment about children putting you off withhold have done it for me. Negative arse.

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 04/07/2022 19:41

You did nothing wrong and he’s a twat. Next!

Original poster

Caribou1 · 04/07/2022 19:48

I said that it wouldn't put every person off. I know some friends who'd happily date someone with kids

OP posts:

legalseagull · 04/07/2022 20:16

He'd have lost me at the self pitying "I suppose you won't be interested". Urgh. Tiny violin anyone?

Original poster

Caribou1 · 04/07/2022 20:30

Just for feedback, what would you responded to him if you were not interested?

OP posts:

Loveduck80 · 04/07/2022 20:32

Caribou1 · 04/07/2022 20:30

Just for feedback, what would you responded to him if you were not interested?

I'm not sure we'd be compatible but I genuinally hope you find what you're looking for

BadNomad · 04/07/2022 20:43

He's a dick. He should have mentioned on his profile that he has kids. And you should mention they're a no on yours. It would save a lot of bother and time-wasting for both parties.

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