To have felt unsafe and to have resented being slagged off at this place

[Caribou1]

I work in care homes part time and was at a new one a few days ago.
My role was one to one with a male with dementia, unsteady on his feet.
The staff had requested a male carer but said it could be a female if no males were available.
I was told to hold onto him tightly which I thought I was doing, but I found it difficult to keep him upright when he was walking and felt he should have had a walking aid.
I could liken it to trying to support a drunk person who's staggering somewhat. I know it isn't his fault at all but just to give an example.
Anyway at one point he shuffled forward, I couldn't support his weight and he slipped onto the floor, scratching his face slightly.
I ran and called for help, I felt terrible, luckily he wasn't any further injured.
The nurse said he'd had several falls and that he needed either a male carer or 2:1 with me when walking.
I twice overheard one carer slagging me off to her colleagues about it, once when I was in the same room. She was basically making out that it was my fault, that I was careless and incompetent. I did feel awful, I did not feel safe with this man as a one to one and reported this back to my agency, requesting that I do not return again.
At one point, I was sitting with the man and heard the same carer slagging me off in the room again. "look at her she's just sat there, not even doing anything." I'm not allowed to leave his side for a start.
Perhaps I wasn't interacting with him enough which anyone would be right to pick up on, so I then started to interact more. However why not speak to me in a tactful way, rather than whisper about me and be rude.
At one point, the man got up and nobody else was in the room. I prompted him a few times to sit down but ultimately i can't push him onto a seat so I just walked him around. The nurse saw and shouted that I'm not allowed to walk him on my own and what was I doing. I tried to explain but she didn't seem to understand.
I can't physically force somebody to sit down.
The shift got better after that, but I had felt terrible about the man falling, and also negatively judged by the staff.
What would you have done in this situation, does it sound like I was in the wrong?

I later heard the carer saying she's someone who "Tells it like it is", so that tells me all I need to know.
She later started being friendly to me after the initial slagging me off.

I wouldn't give it another thought. She could have helped rather than bitching. Just don't go back there - I would let the management know why you won't be returning, as well as your agency. Care homes can't afford to have their staff putting agency staff off coming back.

Client’s care plan —- if it said 2:1 that is what he should have had. If he needs a walking aid why isn’t that in place.
Other carers should have been helpful rather than rude, which generates a negative atmosphere.
Of course you can’t force the gentleman to sit in a chair if he doesn’t want to but you needed more support ( either by people or aids such as walking frame, )
I know there’s a shortage of care staff but care home owners accept the clients, take the money. It’s their job to keep clients safe.

My DF has dementia and a 1:1. He’s unsteady. I wouldn’t blame a carer at all if he fell, he’s leapt up and set off on some imagine errand when I’ve been there with him. Even physically trying to guide him back to a chair is impossible and I’m family so happy to be more hands on than maybe a staff member would be.

don’t give it another thought, honestly. If they wanted you to do certain things with him they should have said, provided distractions to interact with him or something. They are with him all the time so know what he likes, what keeps him occupied or whatever. Those that say they ‘tell it like it is’ just say horrible stuff about people and use that as some sort of justification. They think it makes them less mean, it doesn’t.

don’t give her headspace

It was an accident that you helped cause although not your entire fault, you got told off about it and now it’s over. End off really. You won’t do it again and she wasn’t slagging you off if she was friendly later, just pointing out to the staff about how careless it was.

anyway I wouldn’t worry about it, the rest of the day went fine and he wasn’t seriously hurt, it’s a new day tomorrow

I take it you were walking right beside him, with your arm holding his hip and he was still unsteady.

You've done the right thing in flagging up this needs to be 2:1.

On the behaviour of the other carer they were hugely inappropriate. The right thing to do is to talk to another carer, ask what is happening- do FULLY debrief this all to your supervisor and ASK for a chance to go over this with your agency.

Definitely put in a complaint about this carers attitude.
Generally though a client that keeps getting up I KNOW you want to follow their lead but sometimes you need to shift the tone over to a more authoritative mode. Look him in the eye, tell him he's going to sit down and needs to wait, for his safety. Distractions are also useful. I know you don't want to patronise the client, but a chat about what is happening outside the window or asking if he has his hankie can sometimes "get through" when dementia patients are agitated.

Best wishes

Your shift sounds awful, it's really hard with people with dementia. The carer sounds awful and you should make sure your agency put a complaint in as if she's like this a lot people aren't going to want to work there

Sorry you had a crap shift, and well done for doing a difficult and much needed job.

One of my colleagues required 4 hours of surgery to fix his shoulder after it was dislocated by a patient he was walking who grabbed him as she became unsteady and fell, the patient was morbidly obese but it shows how easily it can happen and how careful you need to be to look after yourself. If you managed to control his unsteadiness enough that he had a controlled slide on to the floor then you did well.

Yanbu at all. As a fellow carer I'm amazed the funding is there for a 1:1 all the time. Too many care homes accept residents when they can't meet their needs as they view them as a "bum in a bed" aka money.

Did you read the risk assessment and relevant care plan? If so I'd think about reporting it to safeguarding as they are not keeping the gentleman safe if they are providing 1:1 when it should be 2:1.

Also, too many care home staff are really rude to agency staff. Sometimes it is frustrating as some agency staff really don't pull their weight but prejudging them just because they are agency is cutting their noses off to spite their faces.

The way the elderly are treated by the government/social care is appalling. The way carers are treated is appalling. Things need to change.