Really worried about having to have an embarrassing medical examination

[embarassingquestionn]

This is going to sound really silly but I have an appointment coming up which is likely to involve an invasive medical examination. I'm still a virgin and feel really embarrassed and upset about the examination, but I know I need to just go to the appointment for the sake of my health. I'm due on my period and I'm worried about whether I can have the examination if I come on, or whether I should shave/wax and whether to wear a dress/skirt or if jeans is fine. I'm really dreading it and feel silly for dreading it because I know the examination is really important

Don’t wax or shave- I’m sure they don’t care.
I wouldn’t want an exam if I had my period, so I would re-book, or cancel on the day if you come on.

You can request a female doctor if you are more comfortable with one, and you can also request a nurse to sit in.

You will have to undress, so wear clothes which are easy to get in and out of. A dress may be brilliant, or you may end up with a blob of the lube stuff on the back of it. I’m sure someone else will be along to advise.

Those exams are just a part of life, but honestly, you’ll be ok!

Yeah, they're never much fun but the staff are generally good at keeping you covered as much as possible, E.g. with paper from a roll. Definitely wear a skirt/dress, I tend to wear a longish loose one, then you can generally keep it on and only pull it up when you need to, trousers you'd have to completely take off. I never bother shaving / waxing - I don't do this normally, and it can create little tears in your doing that can get infected, but they'll have seen all sorts so just do what you feel comfortable with. Good luck

No need to shave or wax. Maybe a trim if it's very bushy around your labia.

Jeans is probably easier than hitching a dress up.

Are you of an age where being a virgin is unusual? You could quietly explain to the nurse beforehand?

I know it's hard to believe but they do see it everyday!

Good luck.

It depends what they are looking for. I had an internal ultrasound and it had to be just after I had my period. A friend of mine had to have one when she was having her period. Can you phone up the department to find out?

I carry out intimate exams every day and I would advise the following:

• Ask for a female member of staff if you would like one
• Wear something flowy like a long skirt or dress as it will help you feel less ‘naked’
• Tell them that you are nervous! We have a range of speculum sizes
• Don’t shave or wax if you don’t want to, it is absolutely fine either way
• If you’re on your period, you can still be examined but it depends what the examination is for. If it’s a smear, it can’t be done whilst you’re on your period so would need to be rebooked
• Ask if you can listen to music or an audiobook with the volume low enough to hear them if they need to ask questions
• Ask them to explain everything they are doing

Good luck 🙂

Forgot to add, with my internal ultrasound I had to take my bottoms and pants off and had a blanket to put over my lap, so probably best not to wear a dress as your top will be uncovered (if that bothers you).

I’m not a medical professional so I can’t say whether or not you can have the examination while on your period. I imagine it mainly depends on why you need the examination and what exactly the examination is. I wouldn’t have a smear test while on my period (I’m not even sure if you can) but it would be different for an urgent medical problem.

I would wear a loose dress or skirt so you can lift it up rather than trousers that you have to remove. They will/should give you a sheet to put over yourself but I feel more covered up with my skirt lifted up! I always make sure I am well ‘groomed’ beforehand but that is because it makes me feel more comfortable. Only wax or shave if you want to, they really won’t care.

Hopefully you can request a female GP if you’d like to, but you should be able to have a chaperone with you either way. Is there someone you could take with you? You may want to tell them that you’re not sexually active before you have the examination, but that is up to you.

It is a bit scary, but they’ve genuinely always been much better than I’ve imagined! 💐

If you wear a dress, there's a possibility the lubricant will leak onto it. Separates are best, & remove the bottom half.
Best wishes - it's not as bad as you fear.

Honestly, I've had three kids, and I still hate, hate, hate smears and intimate examinations. However, I have also worked in GP surgeries for 20+ years with nurses who do it every day, and as long as you are clean they don't give a hoot what else is going on down there, or what hairstyle you're sporting. I've never known a nurse talk about those examinations either - they're always careful about confidentiality and nothing about those appointments gets discussed elsewhere. Do tell them that you've not had intercourse before, they'll be very careful to explain everything to you. I find it most comfortable to wear a loose skirt because I don't have to remove it and I feel less exposed. You can ask for, or take your own, chaperone too, who sits outside the curtain and is just there for your safety/comfort. They'll be seeing 10 other women that day too, one more or less morphs into another after a while, they'll forget which one you were!

I'm off for a smear this week OP. I plan on wearing leggings and a long tunic. I hate wearing skirts / dresses as I find they inevitably get in the way. I've had lots of exams and procedures for various gynae things over the years and 99% of the time they've been fine. But be prepared to ask them to stop and give you a minute if you are uncomfortable with something in particular or need a minute

The pandemic is wonderful for intimate examinations, as it means you can justifiably hide your face (with a mask) which really helps with feeling less exposed and more anonymous. The practitioner literally wouldn't recognise you again!

Hopefully you'll receive a leaflet about the procedure, and that should say whether you can have it when on your period, but if you're not sure, just call ahead.

If you wear a skirt, hitch it up at the back so you are not sitting on it?
And if they say 'bare below the waist, please' or similar, you can keep your dress on (hitch it up!) so you won't be topless.

Wear a long t-shirt and a skirt. You can slip the skirt off easily and you will feel more covered. Usually they pull the curtain while you get ready and there is a blanket on the bed. My experience is that the doctors and nurses are very kind. A nurse held my hand when I had a hysteroscopy. If you think it might be painful then take a couple of nurofen beforehand. Hope it goes okay.

The most important thing to know is that this is not embarrassing!! No need to shave or wax, they won’t be interested in what’s on top anyway. If you’re worried about it being a hot day and wanting to freshen up, pick up some fem wipes from Boots and use them in the ladies before you go in.

If it's a smear test there might be much less reason for you to have it - IANAD but I believe HPV is very hard to catch without having sex.
(Happy to have a specialist contradict me !). If it is that, a frank chat with your GP about whether you need it yet might get you out of it.

However, the difficulty is that if health professionals are upfront about this then you get a number of problems. (So this is quite rightly why the party line is 'JUST HAVE A SMEAR TEST').

a) Young women who do need a smear test but don't want to admit to their parents that they've been having sex

b) Young women who take the view "well he only put it in a little way / didn't come in me / etc" and see themselves as "really virgins" when their activity HAS been enough to pass on HPV

c) Young women who have only ever slept with one man and believe wrongly that he's never had sex with anyone else

Women die of cervical cancer - nobody wants a, b or c to be skipping their smears.

aye, ok

I'm a virgin and the nurse still recommended to me that I should have one. It must vary from place to place because I honestly don't know what to believe any more. However I'm opting out in the future. It won't go down well and no doubt I'll be judged for it but it's my body.

In the warmer months I wear a skirt/dress and just pull it up as I sit down. Never had any problems with that. Also wear shoes that are quick to take off because I hate spending wheat doing up shoelaces! I don't wear tights (hence saying warmer months).

In colder weather I wear a long top or cardigan thingy over trousers and do the same as with a dress.

Basically don't wear tights.

I would tell them that you haven't had intercourse too. I think nobody looks forward these exams, regardless of the reason for them, but there may be an added element if you haven't had intercourse.

And I'd definitely recommend requesting a female dr. Without a doubt. Especially in your circumstances.

It's a strange thing to have done OP, but focus on your breathing and wiggle your toes. You can do this.

Last time instead of usual dress or skirt I wore jeans but with a long cosy cardigan which I could keep on and cuddle to relax . . .

Everyone please stop with the anecdotes! It just doesn't read right. Have reported.

Ditto!

Thank you all for the advice, I really appreciate it. I like the idea of wearing a face mask as I'll feel more anonymous. I promise I'm not some kind of troll, I'm sure Mumsnet can validate that I'm a regular poster. I said 'invasive medical procedure' to try and be discreet as I'm already feeling awkward enough making this thread, but it's not a smear test but a rectal examination I have to look forward to

And why would being a virgin matter then? Reported