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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to take up martial arts/self defence at 25?

30 replies

partaaaay · 04/07/2022 16:05

I’m 25, going through a very raw break up and I’ve realised I have zero confidence. I walk around with my shoulders hunched without even realising and I just don’t carry myself very well.

I was thinking of joining something like women’s self defence classes but I’m not very familiar with other martial arts that may suit me better.

Does anyone have any ideas or experience? Thank you x

OP posts:
DontLikeCoffee · 04/07/2022 16:14

Do it! My DC do ju jitsu and they strongly encourage adults to join. Try looking at Kapap.

Ducksinthebath · 04/07/2022 16:15

Being 25, 50 or any age is no reason not to do it if it’s something you fancy.

Original poster
partaaaay · 04/07/2022 16:16

Thanks! I’m just not sure which one to try - I don’t know enough about what they are - I’m not very strong and have terrible arm strength so don’t know if I’d be any good at kickboxing or something.

OP posts:
Jalisco · 04/07/2022 16:18

Try Judo - it is based on not using strength at all.

Octopuscrazy · 04/07/2022 16:23

I started krav maga at 34!

I love it. I feel so strong and confident. I go to a womens class and I was worried initially that I would be the oldest and rubbish but I have been doing it for six months and honestly it is the highlight of my week.

Go for it!

ItIsMyName · 04/07/2022 16:29

You don’t need to be strong for martial arts, it’s all about technique. I started combined Ju Jitsu/ kickboxing when I was mid 30’s and it did help improve my posture. I would also add I tried a few classes before I found one I liked so don’t be put off if the first class you try doesn’t do it for you.

PineappleWilson · 04/07/2022 16:33

A lot of parents join a martial art with their DC and find that they love it. Have a look at what martial arts are offered near where you live, and on what nights, so you know you're looking at a list of feasible options, then google and see which you'd prefer. Ask on Fb for recommendations too, as some teachers will be better than others. Best of luck.

MsMartini · 04/07/2022 16:35

Do it!!

I started boxing in my 50s. Can't fit it in now but loved it and it is great for confidence and stress-busting.

If you don't know what to try, perhaps go for convenience/somewhere recommended as friendly and good. If you don't like it try something else.

Lots of women are into martial arts and do it for the cardio and the fun. And at my mixed class, beginner women partnered each other. If numbers were odd, it would be a more experienced, stronger woman who was partnered with a man. Don't worry about any of that - a good instructor will pitch it right and manage the group well.

moonlight1705 · 04/07/2022 16:40

I started taekwondo as a very fat, unfit 32 year old. I now continue with taekwondo as a slightly less fat and unfit 38 year old.

I have a club led by a female instructor who is amazing at self defense and making it feel as if you don't have to be a buff 20 year old bloke to do things.

theculture · 04/07/2022 16:46

I did karate in my late 20's

With most (all??) martial arts the grading system to get belts means that you progress as your body gets stronger rather than jumping straight in to flying kicks etc Wink

It was so welcoming, and I found the higher belts are really patient and welcoming of the beginners

Nimo12 · 04/07/2022 16:54

I can't recommend it more! Fun, great for fitness, new friends. Do it!!

paddingtonstares · 04/07/2022 17:17

I've taken karate up..at 55..

Chickoletta · 04/07/2022 17:20

I took up Jiu Jitsu as a post-grad at uni because my friend fancied the instructor and wanted me to come along. We both loved it and they’re now married.

Great for fitness and self-confidence and usually a good social scene connected to the clubs and competitions too. Go for it!

InvincibleInvisibility · 04/07/2022 17:22

I took up karate at 24 and got up to black belt 2nd dan. Was fantastic and made a lot of friends

StillMedusa · 04/07/2022 17:26

I took up Taekwondo at 45... got my black belt 1st Dan at nearly 49 Grin
I was the oldest there I think, and definitely the oldest female... and it was great!
I've 'retired' now due to some health issues (knackered back from my day job) but it was great fun, I was SO much fitter.

Just do it :)

Boopear · 04/07/2022 17:33

I got halfway to a black belt in a taekwondo varient (that was focused on soft joints which is better for older bones!) in my 50s. Covid scuppered it but am thinking of starting something else. It was great fun and you feel badass! There was also a wide range of ages so never felt out of place - most places offer tasters so you can see which classes work for you. Go for it!

CamomileCream · 04/07/2022 17:37

Research if any of the local clubs do a ladies night. I used to do ladies only kickboxing and it was so much fun!

OneTC · 04/07/2022 17:39

If you're looking for a bit of confidence and fitness then the choice of MA isn't so relevant, just go to some schools, sit in on a lesson if allowed, and see if it's something you like.

If you want something more functional then look into bjj or MMA styles. If you want something more general fitness look at kickboxing. Some traditional Chinese Kung Fu styles also incorporate a soft style with movements akin to tai chi which may be of interest.

It really depends what you want from it.

If a class won't let you observe then give them a pass

CookPassBabtridge · 04/07/2022 17:49

Kickboxing transformed my confidence!

AgentMagenta · 04/07/2022 18:21

Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

Another taekwondo-er here. Started mid-thirties, am a green belt a year and a half later. I absolutely love it. You might absolutely love it too or you might not but there's only one way to find out...

Talkingtopigeons · 04/07/2022 18:23

You'll develop strength through doing a martial art, it's certainly not required that you have it before. In terms of what you'll enjoy - ime it's more about the club than the art - eg what is convenient enough for you to go to (what's near, has class times that suit etc) and whether they feel welcoming.
I've done a lot of martial arts and most of it after the age of 30. Karate, Kickboxing, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Kung Fu, Akido. All were great!
Unless you have a particular reason you can't train with men I wouldn't rule out mixed clubs. Instructors tend to pair women up together and if there aren't women available will pair you up with a male who is experienced enough to adapt to your size/weight when training. Good gyms are very courteous and respectful about gender and creeping is very, very frowned on.

A good friend of mine was dumped by her husband, joined a Jiu jitsu gym, stopped drinking (she later admitted it had been creeping up - work all day, wine every night type thing) - lost several stone in weight, started competing and has done a referee course. She has a total new lease of life. Her ex not doing so well!

The only tip I would give is to ask the instructor about their qualifications/experience and look them up online when you're home. There are still some martial arts gyms where the instructors oversell themselves (usually ones that promise you can learn self defence in eight weeks and who charge for every little thing, eg required branded club uniform from day one, frequent gradings with extra charges for the sessions as well as the belts etc- and the instructor themselves has a belt/grade in a specialism no one has ever heard of) Fortunately due to the internet those type of scammers are rarer now as they get called out pretty quick!

Watwing · 04/07/2022 18:27

I second about trying a couple of different clubs if the first one isn't for you.
I've done quite a few different martial arts and the right club is so important. Unfortunately I moved away from my favourite boxing club 5+ years ago and am still struggling to find one I like as much!

Nidan2Sandan · 04/07/2022 18:43

I was 31 and am now on my way to my 3rd black belt and have opened my own club so DO IT!

I do Shotokan which is a nice, traditional martial art and suits most ages. It's also probably the most popular art so easy to find a local club.

Icantfindanewname · 04/07/2022 18:43

Do it! I did a couple of years of ju jitsu, then moved away from the club. I couldn't find a local club, but eventually tried kickboxing in my mid 40s. Oh. My. Word. The fun! We (whole family attends at some point in the week) attend a fab, friendly, family academy where I've made some good friends. If the academy fits with you, the discipline is secondary (for me). I started going to a ladies only class, but the male blackbelts in the mixed class are sooooooo supportive and provide great guidance - they go against all my pre conceived ideas. In fact, I'm about to go get my uniform on for tonight's class. It's taken me almost 48 years to find an exercise I like, and I'm going to make the most of it! And that is from a usually exercise resistant, fat and frumpy cancer surviving, middle aged mum of two. If I can do it, you can too. Fitness and confidence await... 🤣

Ponoka7 · 04/07/2022 19:09

My DD at 24 started Muay Thai to regain confidence. It started her on a path of building strength and stamina. She's completely changed her body shape.