Thoughts on this Go Fund Me

[AllTheDancers]

Name changed, as might have given geographical area previously.

I've been asked, through social media, to contribute to a Go Fund Me set up to bring the finance of a man to the UK from a country for which the Visa requirements are quite strict. Its not a European country.

Now, although its quite nice, the Go Fund Me is to raise a large sum, around £10000. The person in question appears to earn in the region of £70,000 per annum, and his finance isn't at risk in any way and in fact seems to have quite a good career in the country she is from. Quite a few people are contributing because he has quite a well known local profile (he runs a charity based in the country and people pay the charity to go over and do work there).

I'm trying to imagine if I went to that country and met a man and expected other people to basically fund my love life. I don't think as a woman I would be met with quite such sympathy. Thoughts? Am I being unduly judgmental to think that people should fund their own social lives and that this isn't a real case of urgency that Go Fund Me should be used for? I have contributed to Go Fund Me's for medical treatment and animal welfare in the past but am a bit surprised to see it being used for this purpose.

...so don't contribute if you don't think it's worthy?

That's the nature of the platform. You read, you choose.

If you think it's fraudulent you could report, but this doesn't seem to be fraudulent - it's more opportunist.

In which case if you're jealous other people who are seemingly well remunerated are funded by platforms, then dream up your own opportunity.

There are some absolute begs on GoFundMe. Stay well away.

Just don't contribute if you don't agree with it or can't afford it.

*In which case if you're jealous other people who are seemingly well remunerated are funded by platforms, then dream up your own opportunity.(

Oh for goodness sake. I know how much he earns because I looked up the public details of the charity he runs because I became a bit suspicious of his motives. Do you know how little scrutiny there is of charities, how much they pay their directors and how little scrutiny there is of what they do with the money, particularly if its spent overseas? And that they pay no tax? Basically, around 80% of this charity's funds raised go on his salary and his travel expenses.

I have a good job and relationship, and have no intention of "dreaming up my own opportunity" to get people to give me money.

No way... just don't bother with them

forms.charitycommission.gov.uk/raising-concerns/

sounds like you need this more than AIBU @AllTheDancers

This is one of those invites that is playing on emotions - they’re trying to make you feel sorry for this stranger.

They’ve asked for your help - it’s a request not a summons, and you’re at perfect liberty to refuse.

For the record, I ignore random requests for donations, and will only donate to people I know and for causes I believe in.

That's living rent free in your head. there was a guy in silly makeup claiming that because he's non binary and has on silly makeup it makes bus trips unpleasant and he had a taxi fund.

Not even mad because if people are going to throw money at you for practically nothing just because you asked for it then fair play to you. If you ask for money and get it, how can I be mad at that? Won't be my money.

Its literally been all over my sm feed for the past few weeks - people are sharing it, he's reposting it, the Go Fund Me itself is worded really emotively, complaining that he's going to have to pay for new flight tickets, the "hardship" it is going to cause them being apart when he returns to the UK, and he is even including the Go Fund Me processing fees in the amount he is appealing. But reading between the lines, it seems that they want to get her over in time for a wedding booked at an expensive venue, with a large number of guests.

I'm honestly a bit shocked, and even more so when I looked into the charity's accounts (although none for the last 2 years due to Covid). Charities get away with all sorts, I'm not convinced that the Charities Commission will do anything about this.

I can't imagine ever giving money to anyone on this kind of thing. Cheeky fuckers most of them - boohoo, I didn't want to pay for insurance on my expensive holiday and now I can't pay the medical expenses, or boohoo I want my dream wedding paid for by others, etc etc. It's nauseating.

He sounds like a right ejit!

Charities get away with all sorts, I'm not convinced that the Charities Commission will do anything about this.

How do you know?

If you’re “not convinced” then your only recourse is to stew in a pit of perceived injustice ..

What I really think is, you’d rather not take action, but instead moan about it to people and “raise awareness” of what you think is his CF’ery.

in which case I’m out, and carry on etc

If you feel strongly that this is at best dishonest then write that on these sm posts, with a link to companies house.
Make a burner account if you want to be anonymous.
Honestly this kind of shit makes my piss boil. High level chuggers.

There are loads of these. Usually gay couples from what I’ve seen. Haven’t seen this particular’high profile’ one.
as someone engaged to a U.K. citizen and on a visa myself. Not impressed. He sounds like a twat

Also can you’d DM me the charity? Quiet interested now

I will be reporting it to the Charities Commission. I just wanted peoples' opinions. If people like me never question this sort of thing, then I guess thats really good for people who want to get hard working taxpayers to part with their money? Thats what this sort of thing relies upon. Hopefully it won't be your mum or aged relative who you find out is giving away money!

Unless he’s asking for donations to his charity then I’m not sure what interest the Charities Commission would have in it. It sounds like he’s asking for donations to him personally, for his partner’s visa. Not their role to adjudicate in whether or not people should give him money. If you can find out his financial situation then presumably any other would-be donors can also and decide whether or not they want to help out.

When gofundme first started my CF friend gleefully told me "it's this new website where people just give you money". He was jobless and half arsed looking for work so he could keep claim jsa as it was then.

He told me he made a page and I had a look. The jist of it was:

"I lost my job and obviously to get to interviews and stuff I'll need transport. So I'd like this motorbike please, I've had my eye on this model for ages."

Even if he thought it was for "transport", it never crossed his mind to just ask for a bit of bus money

I'm trying to imagine if I went to that country and met a man and expected other people to basically fund my love life.

That's your problem. Nobody is expecting other people to fund a love life. They are hoping other people will. You are under no obligation to donate anything, so don't. Read it, decide not to, move on, why think anything further.

Most Go Fund Mes are CFs. Most of them fail to get off the ground. But there's no shortage of gullible fools waiting to be parted from their money so someone with charisma and a local profile can sometimes make them work.

It's not one of those one-man 'religion' charities by any chance?

Not exactly. It does seem to attract a lot of white Christian woke warriors who think they can transform lives in other countries through their 2 weeks paid leave in the sun.

I don't think as a woman I would be met with quite such sympathy. Thoughts?

My thoughts are that bringing being a woman into it is quite a stretch.

It's a cheeky request though so just ignore.

If you think it's scammy/opportunist, either stay away and don't donate, or report it.

Donate or don't. Who has head space for all this!