To prefer nursery over nanny

[Bluevelvetcake2]

Hi

Currently using a combination of nursery and nanny for a 3 year old and thinking about switching all 4 days with nursery. Nanny is very good but seems to be losing her commitment to the job now as she wants to retire. I feel like my child learns more at nursery from his peers and they obviously have a lot of resources. Downside is sickness at nursery. However I keep reading about 1-2-1 care being better for children so I can’t make up my mind. Any thoughts?

My son is so social I think he'd miss just being home with one person. It depends on the child and what the nanny does with them, I suppose.

Sounds like you need a better nanny!

I meant, he'd miss socialisation if he was home with one person. He thrives with others around.

you need a better nanny! I've never heard of a nanny keeping them home all day... they're out and about and extremely social!

For a “developing normally” 3 yo, I’d say a good nursery is just as good as a good nanny, and definitely better than a lacklustre nanny.

I do think 1-1 is better for babies/pre verbal kids but by 3 the balance is different. I’m no expert this is just my view.

Assuming he’s been going to playgroups, toddler activities etc then he’s probably had lots of exposure to bugs already, so hopefully wouldn’t catch so many at nursery?

I think the idea that 1on1 care is better for children is aimed at younger children. At 3 years old, nursery is considered to be very beneficial for children, and one of the reasons the government in Britain offers 15 hours free. At 3, children are preschoolers, and the social aspect of nursery is considered to be a great preparation for school.

Sorry just to be clear nanny does take them out every morning and then spends the afternoon at home.
Shes a good nanny in my view but just not as committed to the job as she once was now she has had an inheritance I think!

I wouldn't trust a nanny who didn't want to be there.
Although I would ask if she'd consider coming back for ad hoc cover (at a higher rate) if she was available.

A good nanny will always beat a good nursery in my view. But at 3 the benefits of a nanny verus nursery are less. Just keep in mind that much of the research on the benefits of nursery for over threes is based around 15-20 hours. If your child would be doing 50 hours I’d stick with a nanny and make sure she is out and about enough.

Choose whatever works best for your child - just make sure you have some backup childcare for when your kid is too ill to go to nursery (as this will happen quite a bit at this age and can be a big strain for working parents)

I feel like nursery may be better and I guess I need to trust myself on this a bit more.
The sickness thing does worry me a bit but we both work from home and do have grandma near by. I have never had to ask her yet as I want to avoid her getting sick and we have got through a whole winter and a bout of chickenpox so far.

I was a massive fan of nursery for both of my DC. They had great friendships, some of which are still going strong several years later, and the space is geared up for kids to play in all day. Activities tend to be heavily play based but geared towards early literacy and numeracy etc. The staff were all lovely and crucially if one of them was off sick the nursery would still be open and we could still go to work. They were both very happy and the transition to school was entirely seamless.

Surely you can't expect a nanny to look after a sick child either? I'm sure friends who use nannies don't do this.

Personally, at that age, I think nursery is better. Does he have friends that he socialises with regularly? Is he learning turn taking, sharing, self-care, doing things like having shared lunches with other children? I think these are the things that give nurseries an advantage. At 3, mine both had very close friends who they saw at nursery and also regularly met up with for playdates. I think there's an advantage to this over just playing for short periods of time with others at the playground. And a group setting provides opportunities for practicing sharing toys, waiting in turn to use the loo/wash hands, being a helper at meal times, etc. Also, while yes, you do have to deal with sickness, you don't have to work around nanny's illness or holiday time.

Of course we do (and are happy to!) It's only things like D+V i won't have or anything really worrying. The bonus of a nanny is they'll have a child colds and a temp etc...!

Yes, nannies are expected to care for sick children. That's a large benefit of nannies over other forms of childcare.

What do you mean @Bluevelvetcake2 when you say the nanny isn't committed?

I think nursery is great for 3 year olds, but 4 long days is a lot for them to cope with. Personally I would prefer less days of shorter/school hours days with a mix of days at home and able to go out and about in the community.

1:1 nanny care is great for little ones but at 3 I think they get more out of socialising with their peers and the school preparation side of nursery. Yes the nanny can look after a sick child which is so useful when you work, but they have to build their immune system and I’d much rather get the bugs out of the way at preschool age to avoid being hit hard when they start reception. So it would be nursery hands down for me.

I’m a nanny. My little charge is 14 months and has a more active social life then I do 😂

don’t Assume because a child is with a nanny they don’t socialise.

in all my jobs I’ve looked after the kids when sick except this job as mum likes to do it when she’s sick.

She doesn’t seem committed in the sense that she has asked several times for days of unpaid leave without giving much notice. We also asked for the occasional extra day and she doesnt really want to do it. She has said herself that she wants to retire. She isn’t at retirement age but I know she had an inheritance recently so maybe she doesn’t need the money now. When we floated the idea of asking t nursery if they can do extra days she seemed happy. It seems shes only staying bow because she doesn’t want to let us down.

She’s been really great for the two years she has worked for us. I did interview a lot of candidates and I really think I got lucky. Also not many candidates seem interested in part time roles so I think I would struggle to replace her. Nursery does seem to be the way to go…