It’s my birthday and I’m feeling sorry for myself

[Slavetolove]

I know I’m being unreasonable and I should be happy with what Iv got.

but reality has hit me abit. My mum died when o was 19 so I spent mt whole 20s motherless when I needed her the most.

my dad died in September and now I’m spending my whole 30s without any parents )I’m 32 today).

iv literally got two cards, one from my sister and one from husband and kids.

Iv never felt so lonely in my life. I feel so sad. I’m missing my parents so much, especially my dad.

argh

I'm so sorry OP.

Happy birthday

Oh you have lost your parents very young in life 😞

Can you reframe this at all? Can you arrange something for yourself that you know you will enjoy? A daytime movie or just a lovely cafe stop?

Happy Birthday !! 🎂 🥳 🎉

I’m sorry you feel down and I’m sorry for your loss. That must be hard .

Do something extra special for yourself 💕

Happy birthday and I'm sorry I honestly cannot imagine what you are going through. Hope you are able to enjoy a bit of today xx

i wanted to go for afternoon tea but that’s not happening.

i don’t have any presents either lol.

Im sorry about your mum.i lost my dad as a child and mum has been gone a while now. You have dh and dc and a sister. About the same here a few friends also.i do think the first year of losing someone is hard .it does get better in time.my friend always says its just another day.but it is difficult and you are a lot younger than me.i always think of things mum would have liked.maybe a nice afternoon out or evening walk today .I always think she wouldn't want me upset and nor would your dad.its OK just to feel OK and not be doing cartwheels!take care thinking of you xx

Oh I have my smear booked in this morning so that’s something to do i guess lol

Happy birthday op!!!
I am truly sorry you have lost your parents so young.
My amazing dad died this year and it was my birthday the other day and I hadn't realised how dowm I would be.
I had snippets in the day that were lovely but all I wanted was my dad.
I shall be thinking of you today xxx

Can you plan something nice for the weekend? Maybe a nice day out or meal.also something nice for yourself .some chocs or a top whatever

Happy birthday!

I'm so sorry you've lost your parents so young.
Is there anything you can go and do on your own today that would make you feel better?

Im a single mum so in the past I've taken myself off for a swim/coffee/massage/walk on my birthday.

I hope your DH has made some plans perhaps for the weekend? If not then you make them.

(A smear on your birthday is practically heroic )

Happy Birthday @Slavetolove! You’ve been through a sorrowful time and it must be hard to celebrate your birthday without your parents.

if you want to go for afternoon tea, please do it! Even if you go on your own - sod everyone else. It’s your birthday and the birthday rules are that the birthday girl gets to choose what she wants to do.

google afternoon tea near me, choose, book, and then go and bloody enjoy every moment - it’s a lovely day too - you’ll be sat in a lovely room with sunshine streaming in - you’re lucky to have a summer birthday!

then tomorrow, start planning what you want to do for your next birthday and make that happen too.

That's sad OP. I'm not surprised you are feeling sorry for yourself.

I hope you have a lovely birthday anyway. 🎈🎈🎈

having a rubbish day. Dh and kids bought me a cup.
i proper made an effort for his birthday. I bought him aftershave and a tshirt, took him and the kids London and then I took him Manchester to watch Liam Gallagher.

iv literally had a cup and a smear test. And now he’s moaning he’s tired as he’s been on nights.

Sorry for the loss of your parents so young, OP.

Sorry you’re not feeling valued by your partner today either.

I feel lonely at times too and even wrote out a list of potential “friends” I can build better relationships with last week.

It sounds so sad writing it out but maybe try and build a bigger friendship circle if you don’t have one, with the determination to make next year different.

It won’t fill the void of your darling dad but it might plug the gap a little.

Also, you made such an effort for your partners birthday and without being presumptuous it sounds like you have some disposable income, so treat yourself.

happy birthday 🎈

Happy Birthday op! It is also my birthday today!
I have been nc with dm and df for over 20 years.. Df doesn't even know where I live or home many dc I have!!
My life is one I forged myself. Their loss imo!
I got a few cards off dc and dh. And my recently rediscovered old friend!! Family meal tonight prob moaning, complaining dc and dh grumbling about doing the cooking!!
We all made it through Covid and for ghat alone I am very thankful today!!

Happy birthday 🎉

I'm so sorry for your losses. And that your partner is being shit. I agree with PPs - find something you'd love to do,.organise it and do it. And make a list of things to do for next year's birthday, and make sure you organise it so you have something to look forward to. I'm doing this, ready for my big (BIG) birthday in a couple of years time.

Can you take yourself out to a nice cafe, for tea and cake?

Happy birthday! I can understand why you're feeling sad. Can you have a proper chat with your DH and explain your feelings. Maybe you can all go out for afternoon tea at the weekend or when he hasn't just worked a night?

You're still grieving and birthdays, Christmas and other special days tend to bring up all the feelings that we manage to keep down at other times. Not sure about your partner, but people who haven't lost both their parents often don't understand how alone in life it makes us feel - and you are so young to be without them. I say just feel it today, cry if you want to, you don't need to be cheerful. Remember your parents and your birthdays when you were little, without comparing to now. When you feel better invite a friend to go out for afternoon tea with you. Pretend that day is your birthday. Buy yourself a present, don't wait for something special from your partner. Grief is hard and some days are harder ❤️ Be kind to yourself