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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask advice about missed school

17 replies

YukoandHiro · 04/07/2022 03:29

My reception age DD has been so ill this year. You name it she's had it and missed so much school: covid, chicken pox, tonsillitis, viral induced wheeze (she's asthmatic and we've had a couple of hospital trips with this), tummy bugs. Plus at the beginning of the year she had a lot of PfCR wait days off too. It's well over 25 days off she's had over the year. School have started asking for medical evidence of things which I've provided and is fair enough.

Now she's sick again and can't go in tomorrow. She's running a 40 degree fever tonight. She's negative on LFT but two of her close friends in the class are positive so I bet it's covid round 2 (we only had it three months ago).

What would you advise about my next steps with the school? write to the head of year asking if they want a meeting?

I'm so stressed about making sure they realise I'm doing my best but she's just constantly genuinely ill. It's been the worst year I've ever known as she has a little sister who has had a lot of these things too and my work is totally suffering.

OP posts:

Original poster

YukoandHiro · 04/07/2022 06:26

Bump

OP posts:

Darbs76 · 04/07/2022 06:32

It’s standard procedure to ask for evidence when attendance drops under 70% I think. My DD (14) had quite a lot of absences due to anaemia / blood transfusions. Most of the time they sent her home as she was feeling dizzy in school. I sent in a complaint to the tutor when I got the letter about evidence and she said to ignore it as I’ve kept them updated with what’s wrong every time. You could email the head to explain, but it’s just a standard procedure so don’t worry too much. Hope your DD is ok

DistrictCommissioner · 04/07/2022 06:34

What’s her attendance?

Not sure I would bother with a meeting - what could you do differently?

Cuckoo48 · 04/07/2022 06:35

Tell the head exactly what you've told us.
I don't think that she probably cares; she's obviously worked with small children long enough to know that they often get sick, and she definitely doesn't want Covid or ChickenPox-ridden children in her school spreading their germs to other children and staff.
The chances are the request for a face to face meeting is something that is automatically triggered by a certain level of absence, it's a local authority policy which she has no choice but to comply with.

Palmtree9 · 04/07/2022 06:41

Have they asked for a meeting?

I think for this latest illness, first step is to get a doctor's note for the temp if needed.

I personally wouldn't worry, she's reception, and you have the medical evidence for the illnesses. The school will understand

SandysMam · 04/07/2022 06:48

It’s really hard to get a doctors note for medical evidence though for minor illnesses. Doctors are busy enough as it is. Sounds awful but I would take a very short video of her looking rough (being sick etc). It will be dated and time stamped and if it gets as far as meetings, just show the videos and say what else could I do but keep her off?? In the meantime, try a good vitamin and probiotic to build her up and encourage hand washing, but ultimately it’s just her immune system getting ahead for the future.
Try not to worry Op, there are genuine children in need out there and the school will quickly recognise a legitimate case.

Original poster

YukoandHiro · 04/07/2022 07:01

No they haven't requested a meeting. I just wondered if I should suggest one to be proactive?
As the PP said getting medical evidence has been really tricky. Last time (about three weeks ago) I was able to provide a hospital discharge note for wheezing. But this time I'm not planning to take her to the GP for a couple of days of high fever. If she tests positive for covid I can send in the NHS confirmation email but if she doesn't and it's just another random viral illness then (presuming she doesn't get much worse) I wouldn't waste a doctor's time...plus they would just say no or charge you for it anyway.

Even though it's a nightmare in wrap around care for work, I really looking forward to six weeks of not having to actually worry if they're unwell (and hopefully a break for them both from the relentless bugs)

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Threetulips · 04/07/2022 07:06

When did she turn 5?

School isn’t compulsory until the term after she’s 5, so won’t actually count as such.

Yes she’s missed school but with all these illnesses behind her she’ll have less time off next year! Schools are a hot bed of germs.

I remember my two reception play and half of both classes were off will suck bugs. It happens. DD’s class was decimated with chicken pox!

PragmaticWench · 04/07/2022 07:20

The school are heavily monitored on attendance stats so their hands are tied on having to raise it with you at certain points. I'd carry on as you are and ask the class teacher if there's anything you can catch up on at home, to do at weekends once your DD is well again. I've found most Reception teachers are eager to get parents practicing/reinforcing the school learning and games at home.

Ducksurprise · 04/07/2022 07:22

When was/is she five?

AmaryIlis · 04/07/2022 07:26

Just tell them she has a very high temperature - it might not hurt to take a precautionary video of the process of you taking her temperature and the result. I doubt that at this stage in the school year they really want to bother with a meeting.

Original poster

YukoandHiro · 04/07/2022 07:30

She's not 5 til August, but I think once they're in school the same rules apply to all?

And the fact that she's one of the youngest means I feel even worse about her missing so much because I don't want her to feel behind the pack on reading/writing etc (there are inevitable differences on this between her and a child who is 6 in September)

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Ducksurprise · 04/07/2022 07:42

She is below compulsory school age, there is nothing they can do.

Firstly don't worry about what she is missing, in a few years time you will realise that missing early years makes no difference at all as your dd is growing up in a supportive household.

Secondly just inform them that she is unwell and don't worry. I wouldn't have a meeting you know that she is genuinely sick. With ant luck her immunity will have built up this year and next will be better. You don't need medical evidence.

DistrictCommissioner · 04/07/2022 07:47

She’s still below compulsory school age so no, the rules on attendance don’t apply to her.

mdh2020 · 04/07/2022 07:55

I remember one year returning DC school report and annotating the days absent in red pen. She had had flu and German measles.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 04/07/2022 08:03

It will reset for September and at this stage they are unlikely to do anything oher than another letter especially as she is under 5.

Original poster

YukoandHiro · 04/07/2022 11:26

Thank you to whoever said take a time stamped video of you taking her temperature. I did that this morning and sent it in. Hopefully that's all they'll need.

Still negative for covid and perked up now she's got nurofen in her so hoping she'll be back to herself tomorrow

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